Several times he bit his tongue to stop himself from saying something inappropriate and, instead, he continued to stare blankly out the window, refusing to add anything to the conversation. There was an air of tension around the table and poor Lucienne and John-Paul kept quiet.
‘We decided not to take the test in the end,’ Sally lied. ‘We know everything we need to know about each other, right?’ She looked imploringly at Nick for reassurance, but he gave none. In fact, he had given her little of anything in the last fortnight. He left no affectionate messages pinned to the fridge with magnetic letters, his daytime texts were humourless and to the point and he’d led her to believe that he was spending more and more time in the office beyond his contracted working hours. Whenever she confronted him about his aloof behaviour, he simply blamed it on a couple of particularly stressful accounts, an excuse she’d at first accepted. But she wasn’t stupid and he knew she understood there was more to it than that.
‘Well, let’s see if you can buck the trend of rising non-Match divorces,’ Sumaira added. ‘I’m rooting for you guys.’
‘Remind me again about how it was when you and Deepak first met,’ Nick asked suddenly, the first words he’d spoken for a good half hour.
‘I’ve told you before,’ she replied hastily. ‘We were at my cousin’s wedding in Mumbai—’
‘No,’ Nick interrupted. ‘Tell me how you felt when you first saw each other, or when you had your first conversation. How did you know that Deepak was the one?’
‘It was a gradual thing, wasn’t it?’ Sumaira said blushing from Nick’s interrogation. ‘A couple of dates in I had a feeling he was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Then the DNA test confirmed it.’ Deepak nodded in agreement, but something inside Nick knew it was half-hearted; Nick had become the master of half-hearted of late.
‘Only it didn’t, did it?’ said Nick, leaning over the table to grab the bottle and refill his glass.
‘What do you mean?’ Sumaira asked.
‘I mean there were no fireworks or explosions or thunder and lightning bolts like other Matched couples talk about.’
‘It’s not the same for everyone.’
‘No, Sumaira, you didn’t feel any of that because there’s no Match between you and Deepak.’
‘Nick, what are you doing?’ Sally asked, darting a horrified look to their guests on the other side of the table. ‘I’m so sorry, you two.’
John-Paul and Lucienne also glanced at each other, evidently feeling equally uncomfortable but quietly fascinated.
‘You either didn’t do the test because you were too scared to find out the results, or you did it and discovered you weren’t compatible,’ Nick continued, a grimace on his face. ‘You’ve lied about it ever since because you want everyone to believe you’re this perfect couple destined to be together. I’ve seen Matched couples and the way they behave is nothing like the two of you act. Really, you have no idea how it feels when you meet the one, do you? How, when you’re with them, the whole world melts away and you feel like you’ve been hit by the force of a tsunami. And how nobody else in the world exists in that moment apart from you and him.’
At the word ‘him’ Sally took a sharp intake of breath.
‘You don’t know how any of that feels because you have never experienced it. So don’t try to tell me or anyone else how we should live our lives when your own is just as messed up.’
And with that, Nick grasped the rest of the bottle, pushed his chair out from behind him, and stormed up the stairs to the bedroom, slamming the door shut.
Chapter 55
ELLIE
Ellie slammed the cubicle door behind her and breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was her company’s Christmas party, and each time she’d attempted to make her way towards the restrooms, she’d been yanked in all manner of directions by staff wanting to bend her ear.
Until Tim had arrived in Ellie’s life, she hadn’t been so much aloof as she had been wary of people and she very rarely attended events like this. She found it awkward to relax in public – speeches or lectures were a different matter as she attended those with a purpose – but mingling and small talk made her feel self-conscious. However, with Tim’s encouragement, she had come on in leaps and bounds, confronting her shortcomings, and despite her employees competing for her attention, she was actually enjoying herself.
She recalled how at Christmas the year before she had been consumed by work and little else. Business had been booming but she had no one to share the spoils with. And, as 25 December approached, she hadn’t given a second thought to the fact she’d inadvertently taken her joyless life out on her employees, signing off on a very impersonal sit-down dinner in the ballroom of a generic hotel. She might have footed the bill but she had also sucked the fun out of Christmas. ‘I was the Grinch,’ she’d since told herself, and had vowed to make this year different.
This year, she’d given the company’s social committee a blank cheque and permission to hire London’s historic Old Billingsgate, a former-fishmarket-hall-turned-events-venue by the river Thames. Christmas-themed props, including giant toy polar bears, snow-clad trees, ice sculptures and sleighs, were hired to give it a winter wonderland feel and her employees enjoyed a luxurious five-course meal. Afterwards, roulette wheels, card tables, slot machines and a swing band would keep them entertained into the early hours.
Every so often, Ellie glanced across the room to make sure Tim was enjoying himself. But each time she saw him he was chatting to someone new. She liked that he was a sociable sort and that she could leave him to his own devices without worrying.
As an early Christmas present, Ellie had sent him to Savile Row to be measured for his first tailor-made suit. After its fast-track completion and delivery, he’d refused to take it off since. She hadn’t minded as he looked sexy in it and she’d have gladly paid for a whole wardrobe of them if it made him happy. But based on past lessons learned, Ellie knew how easy it was for someone with money to smother someone without it.
Her bathroom break over, she flushed the toilet and made her way to the sink to wash her hands.
‘Hi Ellie, what an amazing night!’ said Kat, her head of personnel, one of her longest standing employees. Her half-moon eyes were a telltale sign that she was drunk.
‘It seems to be going well, yes.’ Ellie smiled.
‘I think there might be a few sore heads being dragged around the corridors tomorrow. Especially mine.’
‘Well, that’s what tonight’s for.’
‘Your new guy seems to be going down well with people.’
‘I feel a bit bad actually. I’ve left him to fend for himself most of the night.’
‘Well, I think he can hold his own. At least, that’s what I remember about him.’
‘Sorry, do you know him?’ Ellie asked.
‘Of course,’ Kat said, surprised by the question. ‘But I must admit, I don’t recall him making it to the second round of interviews.’
‘I don’t think I follow you.’
‘I interviewed him for a job about a year or two ago – Matthew, isn’t it? – it was for something in computer programming, you know, about the time Miriam went on maternity leave. He was very nice and relatively experienced, but there were better candidates so I didn’t recommend he went any further. That’s how you met, right? At a second interview?’