“The man doesn’t have a single speck of dirt or blood on him after singlehandedly dispatching a pack of wolves, and you ask about his damn swords? Life is just too unfair at this moment. Ride his fucking shiny di—”
“Handles,” he says on a condescending snort while shaking his head, as he fights a reluctant grin, unknowingly interrupting Anna.
And I’m certainly sure now that it is unknowingly, because if that’s what he finds amusing, he definitely cannot hear the raving lunatic at my side who has diverted into a tangent about my deprived vagina.
I don’t know why I couldn’t have gotten a really prudish little old lady haunting me. I could have gotten bad cardigan advice instead hearing about the travesty of a “dried up raisin” my downstairs is becoming.
She’s known me for less than four damn months.
“So? Any answer?” I ask as a ghost of a grin toys with the edges of his lips.
“How about we discuss why you’re traipsing around on Morrigan property. Do you have any idea who those wolves were?” he says instead.
I look at Anna, who shrugs, and I stare at Vancetto’s profile with a little more wary cautiousness, as he concentrates on the direction he’s dragging me in.
“I don’t care if he’s weird. I still want to ride him until he screams my name and begs me to punish him for being such a bad boy. I’ll let him lick my shoes clean while I spank his ass with a paddle,” Anna says seriously.
I really, truly, genuinely want to hate her in this moment. Because I actually hiccup out a bit of laughter when a very disturbing image pops into my head from her vivid description.
He makes a frustrated sound, and I try to recover.
“Are you asking me to identify them? Like they have names? Or the type of wolves they are? Timberwolves? Is that a thing? Am I right?” Nervousness does terrible things to my mouth, and now that the adrenaline is wearing off, I’m getting more and more nervous.
Seriously, how did he just happen to find me out there? And does he always walk around with mystical swords? Am I just supposed to pretend that’s a normal thing?
“I think you’re only one more question shy of twenty, if you want to slip another one in and change the meaning of that game,” Anna states dryly. “No wonder your vagina is a raisin,” she adds on a mutter.
This time, I’m the one to make a frustrated sound and glare at her, because this is a very potentially dangerous situation. I’m mostly alone in the woods with…whoever he really is.
His steps slow as he stares ahead like he’s confused, and with a very subtle turn of his head, he gives me a look that I can’t really decipher.
“Do you know what just happened?” he asks more seriously.
I weirdly feel my pulse in my ears for a brief second before I answer like I’m compelled to do so. “I was attacked by a pack of wolves.”
“Do you know who they were?”
Again, as if I have no choice, words are dragged from my throat as my pulse grows louder, almost aching in my chest and ears at the same time.
“They’re just wolves?” I say, hearing the words sound like a question all over again.
The pulse in my ears grows even louder, and I try to blink or move but…can’t. The helplessness seizes me as he takes a step closer. I try to ask him what the hell he’s doing to me, but my lips won’t move. It feels like they’re simply awaiting their next command.
A sense of panic claws up my throat when I feel his breath so close to my face, as he leans down, bringing our gazes more level.
“Just wolves? What kind of wolves?” he asks patiently, as my panic only doubles. Panic is bad. So dangerous. He has no idea who he’s toying with right now.
“Wild fucking wolves!” I shout just as the pulsing sound and ache cease in relieving unison.
I blink rapidly, and my breath flutters through my lips in shaky gasps, as I stumble and fumble my way away from him, my feet dropping through the painfully hindering heaps of snow.
He reaches for me, and I dodge him before trying to run, only to trip because the snow is a fucking nightmare to walk in, and running is impossible.
A scream tears from my throat when he reaches down, cursing me for writhing away from him, as he struggles to lift me.
“What the hell did you just do to me?!” I shout before finally wrestling my knee up and slamming it into his balls.
He grunts and curses as he falls to the side, and I push to my feet while he’s down. With all the strength I can muster, I try to run in the deep snow again.
“For fuck’s sake, you’re going to get yourself killed,” he growls from behind me, sounding much too close.
I whirl around, finding nothing but Anna squatting like she’s trying to pee, as a hand comes around my mouth and a warm body presses to the back of mine.
Immediately, I start struggling, but before I can do damage, he securely restrains me with his hold as he says, “I’m not trying to hurt you. All I did was force you to be honest.”
The second he releases my mouth, I shout, “I was being honest, you lunatic! What sort of answers do you want about those damn wolves? I’ve only lived here for less than a month, so it’s not like I know anything about your freaking wildlife!”
He groans and laughs next to my ear, weirdly pressing his head to the side of mine. I freeze, trying to figure out just how certifiably insane he has to be in order to find any reason to laugh in this moment.
“It’d be funny, if it wasn’t so fucking inconvenient. At the same time, it is funny, because it’s possibly the most hysterically ridiculous thing to happen in far too damn long,” he says on a heavy breath.
“Don’t let his crazy turn you on,” Anna says. “I already called dibs. Now lend me your vagina,” she adds seriously, lifting her hand and making a ‘gimme’ motion.
“Utterly fucking ridiculous,” he adds from behind me.
Without warning, he lifts me so abruptly that I’m in his arms before I can even register the movement, and he starts walking quickly, as though my weight is absolutely no burden.
“Hubba hubba. He’s just trying to keep my panties in a state of damp,” Anna says dreamily.
Reflexively, my arms go around his neck, even as my heart thumps heavily in my chest.
“What did you do to me?” I ask again. “This time tell me how you did it.”
“I used a potion when you weren’t looking,” he says dismissively.
A howl from deep in the woods behind us has me chancing my luck with the creepy swordsman, since wolves have actually tried to kill me once tonight.
“I think you need some ground rules, clueless Portocale,” he says just as we near the barbed wire fence.
“I’m not a Portocale,” I remind him.
“Stop with that little game. Trust me, you just sound silly when you tell that lie,” he assures me. “And I’m not your enemy.”
Without ever missing a step, he leaps over the fence like it’s no big deal, and lands in an easy crouch, never even jostling me. He moves a helluva lot quicker when I’m in his arms instead of getting dragged through the snow. It’s like the deepening snow requires no extra effort for him to trudge through.
His glassy blue eyes meet mine just as we reach the freshly plowed road, where a very nice car is idling off to the side.
“Why is it so hard to believe I’m not a Portocale?” I ask him, my eyes not leaving his.
His gaze narrows. “Because we know a Portocale when we see one, Violet. And you, little clueless one, are in more danger than you realize. What in the hell did Marta plan to accomplish by leaving you fully in the dark about the world you’re very much a part of?”
My brow furrows, because…crazy talk…
“Don’t mind me. I’m just inspecting his ass for the paddle size I’ll need when you finally agree that lending me your body makes you a good friend,” Anna drones on.
A terrifying howl echoes from deep in the woods, and I clutch him tighter as I stare over his shoulder. He can be crazy so long as he keeps the pointy end of his swords facing things that want to eat me.
He drops me to my feet as abruptly as he picked me up, and he opens the passenger side door, as another ominous, somewhat closer howl rocks the night air, joined by a lot of much smaller howls.
“Sorry, but we’re kind of in a hurry,” Vancetto states with a dry expression as he gestures for me to get into the warm car.
I look at the black leather, then toward the woods, then at him as he sighs impatiently.
“Really, Violet, I’d rather not have to kidnap you after having just saved you, in an effort to save you again.”
When the howls sound a helluva lot closer, I hop in and decide he’s still the lesser threat.
The door slams just as I get completely in, and his side opens almost as quickly, which is impossibly fast for a man to move.
“The snow is about to be a pain in my ass,” he mutters to himself, even though it’s not as deep on the road as it was on the ground.
I don’t know when a snowplow came through, but clearly it did at some point.
I’m not sure how, but he slams it into gear and barrels down the road in reverse without ever once looking behind him.
“If I could shit myself, I totally would right now,” Anna says from the backseat, not even startling me with her surprise entrance.