“Don’t you have a scene with Lord Lucas right now?” I asked. I was done for a couple of hours.
“After lunch.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll see you later. I have some homework I need to finish.” In my completely hopeful and very optimistic heart, Donavan would be waiting in my trailer. He would’ve read my mind, realized I liked him, ditched school, and come to see me. Then I would . . . I would what? Tell him I liked him but couldn’t date him because I was in the middle of making my dreams come true? Ask him if he’d wait a couple of years for that to happen?
Even if I found a way to make this work . . . somehow . . . I knew Donavan. Not only would he not ditch school and be in my trailer, but he would also never date me. He had a future career to think about too.
I went to my very empty trailer.
My phone was sitting on the table where I left it during filming. I picked it up to see if Donavan had texted. It went straight to the home screen without making me enter my passcode. Which meant it had been on recently. I checked my morning alarm. It was set for 6:00 a.m. like always. I checked my calendar. It didn’t look like anything was missing. I clicked off my screen, then clicked it on again. The prompt for a passcode came up. I entered it and was admitted to the home screen. My head snapped up, and I looked around my small trailer. I went still, listening. I couldn’t hear anything. I walked slowly to the bathroom and checked the shower. Nobody was there. I shook out my hands. Who did I think would be here? A zombie hunter?
I laughed a little, then exited the trailer and walked down the row to knock on Amanda’s door. I stood there for several minutes. There was no answer. I moved to walk away, when I heard Amanda call out from behind me, “Are you looking for me?”
“Where were you today?” I asked as she let us both into her trailer. “I thought you’d want to be there for the big kiss.”
“You really thought I’d want to be there for that?”
“No. I don’t know.” I sat on her couch and leaned my head back against the cushions.
“Grant and I had our own really good kissing session yesterday. I didn’t want a new image in my head. How did it go?”
“Good, actually.” I sat up.
Her eyes went down to the floor.
“Because I did that thing you told me to.”
“What thing?” she asked.
“I imagined someone I really liked.”
“Oh yeah?” A slow smirk came onto her face. “Who?”
“You know who,” I said grudgingly.
“Tutor boy?”
I smiled. “I don’t think he’d like that nickname.”
“So you finally realized you like him.”
“Yeeees,” I groaned.
“Why is this a bad thing?”
“Because I need to stay focused. I have a career to develop.”
“And kissing a boy you like is going to somehow ruin this?”
“It’s the liking part I’m worried about. That’s just going to distract me, get in my head. I’ve never really had the need to like anyone before. Freshman year, I was kissing Hayden in Guys and Dolls. He was a great kisser. Need satisfied. Sophomore year it was Ryan in The King and I. Junior year there was Brady in Some Like It Hot.”
“Okay, I get it. So what you’re saying is that your pattern of kissing costars has gotten you to where you are and you’re worried to disrupt the pattern?”
“Something like that.”
“So it needs to be: senior year, kissing Grant James in Dancing Graves? Need satisfied?”
“That sounds pathetic.”
“It does,” she agreed. “And I just realized something.”
“What?”
“You’ve never really been kissed. That’s so sad.”
“Yes, I have, I just told you about all of them.”
“You just told me your only kisses have been scripted. Lacey, you have no idea how much different it is off script. You need a real kiss. Your first real kiss. Seriously, it’s so much better. You will never want to stop.”
“You do realize you’re not helping. That’s exactly what I’m worried about. That this will completely derail me. Do you know my mom quit college for my dad? They had to move for his grad school, and she didn’t want to be left behind. And she never finished.”
“And she regrets this every day of her life?”
“They got divorced. She quit something important for a love that failed. I’m sure she regrets it.”
Amanda put her hand on my arm. “You can’t think of love like that. You have to think about everything you gain while it lasts. I’m not saying to quit acting. I’m just saying, you think it will dilute your abilities, distract you. What I’m telling you is having those feelings that come with a relationship—love, anger, heartache, longing—will only heighten your abilities. I promise.”
I opened my mouth to disagree with her when I realized that I had already proved her right. Just today on set, I had imagined Donavan and how I felt about him, and it had made for the best scene ever. “He doesn’t like me back though,” is what I ended up saying.
“I doubt that.”
“He doesn’t date actresses.”
“What? Why?”
“He reviews movies and wants to be able to stay objective.”
“Oh, please. That’s a ridiculous excuse. One you can easily talk your way past, especially because he likes you. He wants to be talked into this. Believe me. You have to convince him that actresses are just like everyone else. So? Will you give this a chance?”
“Maybe . . .” I wanted to scream yes but had at least a little bit of self-control left.
She stood with determination. “Then let’s go talk him into it. Where is he right now?”
A nervous volcano erupted in my stomach as she headed to the door without waiting for an answer.
Twenty-Two
“Do you two really think I can go out somewhere in this town without causing a scene?” Grant stood at his open trailer door, where Amanda was trying to convince him to come with us to the restaurant where Donavan worked.
“He’s right. His fan club will find him,” I said. I was nervous enough showing up to Donavan’s restaurant without Grant in tow, but Amanda had insisted that it would look more casual if all of us went together, just some coworkers out for a quick bite to eat.
Amanda wasn’t taking no for an answer. “What about Lacey’s car, a small restaurant, a waiter we know, and a hat and sunglasses?”
“That sounded like you just solved the murder in a game of Clue,” I said.
Grant stretched. “Why not?” He must not have really cared about causing a scene, because I didn’t think this plan would actually work. But I didn’t care if people recognized Grant. My whole body was terrified with the thought of seeing Donavan, with the plan of telling him how I felt.
“I thought you had the sunglasses and hat,” Grant said when we pulled up outside the restaurant. He was in the back seat, where he had been lying down almost the entire time.
“I was just making a suggestion. I thought you’d bring them.” Amanda pointed to the seat next to him. “Put on Lacey’s hoodie.”
“And I have some sunglasses,” I said, picking them up from the center console.
“Nice,” he said, putting them both on. My hoodie was too small on him, and the sleeves rode up his arms. I sucked in my lips to keep from laughing. Amanda and I walked on either side of him up the sidewalk to the restaurant.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I ignored it at first. Then it buzzed three more times. I pulled it out to see a string of notifications down the screen. Amanda reached for the door of the restaurant, but I stopped.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Some article. I’ve been tagged in some online article, I guess.”
“Let’s read it inside.”
I nodded and followed her and Grant in. It was a Saturday but still pretty early, so it wasn’t too busy. Plus it was a pretty small restaurant.
Amanda approached the hostess station. “Can we be seated in Donavan’s section?”
The girl nodded. “He’s the only one waiting right now.”
“Great.”
He was here. We were here. This was happening.
“Follow me, please.” She led us to a corner booth in the back of the restaurant. The lighting was dim, and a candle sat on the middle of the table. “Can I get you anything to drink?” she asked.
“Diet whatever,” Amanda said.
“Just water for me,” I said.
“Do you have carne asada fries here?” Grant asked.
“First of all,” Amanda said, “she’s getting our drinks. Second of all, pretty sure this is an Italian restaurant.”
“It is,” the girl said.
Grant still hadn’t taken off the sunglasses or hoodie. “I’ll take water, too.”
She left, and Grant said, “I thought you said we’d know the waiter.”
Before I could answer, Donavan walked up with a small pad of paper and a pencil. Amanda hummed a happy hum next to me. It was the first time I’d seen Donavan since admitting to myself that I liked him, and my heart tried to escape my chest. He looked so proper in his tightly buttoned shirt and black pants, and he was so cute. When he saw me, his eyes went wide. I couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.