Because yes, while his feelings for her were real, and growing stronger every day, there could be no future for them. Nothing long-term, anyway. He was a single father. Relationships were hard enough in this business without the constant threat of the media or a fan taking things too far. Being a father meant Yadiel was and always would be his first priority. His family depended on him for everything, and Jasmine . . .
There was no way he could give her what she wanted. What she deserved.
She let out a soft sigh, something he’d noticed she did as she was falling asleep. It was utterly adorable.
And he should leave right now, before their emotions became even more deeply entwined.
Una noche más, he told himself, settling his head on the pillow. He’d take this one last night to cherish the comfort she’d freely given, and try to give back some of his own.
Then he’d figure out how to put some space between them before anyone found out, and before either of them got hurt.
Chapter 26
Jasmine awoke the next morning alone. She reached out a hand, patting the mattress to see if Ashton had shifted over during the night, and instead found a note he’d scrawled on the hotel memo pad. She squinted at it in the dim light edging around the room’s thick curtains.
Jas—
Early flight to PR. Didn’t want to wake you. Thank you for . . . everything.
XO Ash
The “thank you” made her smile. And while she missed morning cuddles, she did appreciate being able to sleep in. Last night had been a whole lot, emotionally speaking, and she wanted some time to process.
After what Ashton had shared with her, it was no wonder he hated being followed by the paparazzi and doing press events. No wonder he kept others at arm’s length. These aspects of his behavior made complete sense now; he wasn’t a diva—he was guarded, and with good reason. But she couldn’t help but wonder, had he always felt anxiety around crowds, or had it started after his home security had been breached?
She knew how it felt to have one’s privacy violated, but having personal information made public was different than being made a target and then having your home attacked. That kind of experience changed a person.
The whole McIntyre fiasco had taken a toll on her, although it was still so recent, she didn’t yet know what the long-term effects would be. Would she ever feel comfortable living in Los Angeles again? Would she be able to regain trust in her old friends and coworkers from the soaps?
She didn’t have the answers yet. Thank goodness working on Carmen allowed her time to lick her wounds at home, in New York City, surrounded by those who loved her most. Her family was far from perfect, but at least they wouldn’t betray her secrets to reporters.
That said, she was due in the Bronx that afternoon for a barbecue, so as much as she wanted to spend the day lazing around and thinking about Ashton, she couldn’t.
The 6 train on a Saturday morning was her idea of a personal hell, so Jasmine took a taxi from the hotel to her grandparents’ row house in Castle Hill, an extravagance she never would have made the last time she lived in New York.
Seven of the twelve Rodriguez cousins were there when Jasmine arrived, along with her parents, all of her father’s siblings, and their spouses. The adults were scattered throughout the living room, kitchen, and backyard, while Jasmine’s nephews and her cousins’ kids played downstairs in the basement.
As was expected, Jasmine made the rounds, saying hello and dropping a kiss onto the cheek of every single relative. It took forty-five minutes. First she got roped into a ridiculous argument with her brother and sister about who had done the most chores when they were children, and then she actually enjoyed a quick chat with her tío Luisito’s husband, Archer, about his book club. Her parents seemed happy to see her, but Jasmine ran away when she saw her mother set aside the tray of lumpia to reach for her phone.
When she was finally done greeting everyone, Jasmine grabbed Michelle from the basement video game tournament and Ava from the kitchen and locked them in one of the upstairs bedrooms with her.
“I had sex with Ashton,” she blurted out the second the door was closed.
Ava’s eyes went wide, but Michelle just smirked. “Knew it,” she said.
“Don’t be smug,” Ava chided. Then she winced, and said, “But I knew it too.”
Jasmine sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. “Am I that predictable?”
“You kinda are,” Michelle said with a shrug. She leaned her butt against the old, ornately carved wooden dresser that displayed a statue of the Virgin Mary and a dish of rosary beads on top. “But can we blame you? No.”
“There’s also serious chemistry between you two,” Ava added, taking a seat next to Jasmine. “Which is good, right? It’ll come through on the show?”
Jasmine groaned. “Except it was supposed to only be on the show. Why am I like this?”
“Because you’re an Aries,” Michelle said matter-of-factly. “You love love.”
Ava sighed and looked to the ceiling for help.
“Okay fine, you want a real answer? Look around.” Michelle waved her hands, encompassing their surroundings. “The men in this family get away with acting like a bunch of babies. They sit around eating and talking while the women do everything. The Latinx gender roles run deep. Is it any wonder our generation has made such sucky romantic choices? I don’t date.” She pointed at Ava. “She’s divorced. And you’re a serial monogamist. We’re like a freaking relationship bingo board.”
Jasmine and Ava just stared at her.
“What?” Michelle threw up her hands. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
Jasmine flopped back on the bed. “No, you’re right. I just don’t know how to navigate this. I’ve had so many relationships but this, somehow, feels way more real than any of the others.”
“Why don’t you talk us through it?” Ava suggested.
Jasmine thought back. “The first time he came over, yeah, we’d both been drinking, and it was hot and spontaneous. But we just fooled around. And he stayed the night, which—well, I didn’t expect it, and I don’t think he did either, but it was really nice, you know? And then the second time—”
“Whoa, hold on. Wait.” Michelle stopped her. “There was more than one incident? When were you gonna tell us so we can live vicariously through your affair with the telenovela star? Which, by the way, would be a great title for a memoir.”
Jasmine sent her a dark glare. “I’m telling you now.”
“All right, sorry. Continue.”
“Anyway, he came over the next night, and I think we were both kidding ourselves. He brought his script and we started off like we always do, rehearsing our lines, but then suddenly we were both naked and I was having the best sex of my life.”
Ava sighed. “Jealous. Keep going.”
“That night, he didn’t stay, but since then, we’ve been . . . together. A lot.”
How did she even explain what was happening between them when she didn’t fully understand it herself? On the surface level, it was simple. They were two consenting adults having sex.
Okay, there was nothing simple about sex with Ashton, but she couldn’t explain why. Aside from the fact that he was very, very good at it.
Jasmine stared up at the ceiling, trying to put her mixed-up emotions into words, when Ava interrupted with a question.
“Do you want a relationship with him?”
The answer was yes, and they all knew it. Jasmine wanted a loving relationship more than anything in the world. But for once, she didn’t want to rush it or imagine things that weren’t there. She’d never had this sort of open connection with anyone else before. But they hadn’t discussed commitment or plans for the future, and her biggest fear was that Ashton would drop her like all the others had.
“I really like him,” she admitted. “It’s . . . I don’t know. I think he’s different?”
“Do you want to keep having sex with him?” Michelle asked in her typical blunt fashion.
“Well, yes, but . . . I don’t know if I should.” Jasmine sat up and sent them a pleading look. “I’m fucking up my Leading Lady Plan.”
“Is that what this is about?” Ava asked gently. “Jas, you’re not being graded on it.”
“But I am. This is work. I don’t want to screw this up.”
“Then don’t,” Michelle said, as if it were that simple.
“Aaaaa-vaaaa,” someone yelled from downstairs. “¿Dónde estás?”
Ava rolled her eyes. “Titi Nita wants my help with the lasagna. I asked why we’re having lasagna at a summer barbecue, but they told me not to question the adults.”
“We should go downstairs anyway.” Jasmine got to her feet. “If we’re gone too long, they’ll start talking about us.”
Michelle snorted. “They’ll do that whether we’re there or not.”
While Ava got roped into helping with lasagna, Jasmine and Michelle escaped to the backyard and sat on plastic patio chairs, munching on chips. Someone moved into the sun, casting a shadow over them, and Jasmine looked up to see Sammy. She didn’t like the joking grin on his face, but she tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.