“Mia deserves a good life. Whether that’s with a mother or it’s not. But I’m not about to ask some woman, let alone Neely, to step into that role.”
“Why not Neely?” he asks.
“Because she doesn’t want it,” I say through gritted teeth. “She has a life somewhere else. She’s happy there. She’s made it crystal clear she’s not staying here for her mother. For me. And definitely not to take care of a kid that’s not hers.” I head toward the door but stop before I push it open. “Who would I be to even ask her to do that? It’s Neely, Dad.”
With the bliss of last night replaced with a somber illustration of the future, I head inside and go straight for the shower.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
NEELY
Let’s take the routine from the top,” Aerial says over the chatter. “Places, please.”
I wait for the cue. Mia’s team takes their places, and Aerial gives me a thumbs-up. I hit “Play.”
The music comes on, an old song from the fifties that has the girls performing a little dance. They’re adorable as they swing their arms and booties around the gym floor. Out of nowhere, a boom thunders from the speakers, and the girls all fall to the floor.
“Five, six, seven, eight.” Aerial counts as the music changes to something more mainstream.
The girls get into new positions as the tumbling passes start. Mia darts across the front of the mat, connecting three back handsprings together. She pops a little pose before jogging to the back. They perform a few stunts and another dance and end it with an epic set of tumbling passes before the final notes are hit.
“That’s amazing!” I tell them, coming onto the mat. The girls run to me, their eyes as big as saucers.
“Do you really think so, Miss Neely?” they ask in different variations.
“I do. Just remember to smile and sell it to the crowd, and you got this.”
Mia falls into my side, wrapping her arms around my waist. “You’re the best, Neely.”
“Me?” I ask, laughing. “You were the rock stars out there.”
She grins up at me. “You’re still the best.”
My heart overflows with feelings for this child. Is it fondness? Do I adore her? Probably both. But the way my insides swell up when I look at her little face seems more than that.
“Practice is over,” Aerial says. “You girls did super tonight. Make sure you grab a flyer off the table in the locker room and take it home to your mothers.”
“Is it Manicure Day?” Keyarah asks, bouncing on her toes.
“It is,” Aerial agrees.
The room erupts in a wild cheer as they race to the locker room. I notice Mia is the last one instead of being in the middle of Keyarah and Madison.
“What’s Manicure Day?” I ask Aerial as Mia disappears into the locker room.
“It’s a tradition started right after you left.” She bends over and picks up a few wrist wraps from the mats. “The mothers get together with their daughters and do a mani-pedi day before the Summer Show. Remember how you used to get together and make your hair bows?”
“That was my favorite day. How tying off the fabric around the elastics was fun I have no idea, but I loved it. Every year, I loved it.”
“We started buying the bows online, so Manicure Day took its place.” She shrugs. “New generation, new traditions. Although if you ask me, the hair bows were more about team building. I think the manis are really for the moms.”
The girls file out of the locker area. Mia is, once again, last. In her hand is a red sheet of paper she shoves into her bag on her way out the door.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Aerial,” I call out. Jogging across the gym, I meet up with my girl. “Hey, you. You did great today.”
She doesn’t look up. “Thanks.” She presses on the doors and doesn’t hold them open for me like she usually does.
I step into the sun and see Dane walking toward us. His smile falters as he takes in Mia’s demeanor. “Hey, rascal. How was practice?”
“Good.” She stops in front of her dad.
“Everything all right?” he asks.
“Yup.” She takes her dad’s hand and then looks at me. “Can we go get a hamburger at Mucker’s?”
Dane and I swap glances. I wish we could click over into the playful mode I see hidden beneath his concern for Mia. I wish even more I could stand next to him and feel him at my side. But just as I wish for those things, Mr. Snow’s offer pops up like an annoying online ad.
“Sure,” Dane tells Mia. “We can go get a burger. Sounds good to me.”
“Will you come with us, Neely?”
I want to say yes. I need to say no. All I can do is look at the adorable little girl with a sad streak in her eyes, and I can’t find the guts to answer either way.
Dane does it for me. “She better go or we’ll kidnap her.”
This puts a piece of the sparkle back on Mia’s face. That, in turn, trumps the best solution of starting to wean myself from them.
“Let’s go, ladies,” Dane says.
Mia offers me her free hand.
I take it.
“And then a cab pulls up to the curb, right? I’m thinking my luck has finally changed, and I start running down the sidewalk, waving my arms like a lunatic.” I demonstrate, with a little exaggeration, my arms flailing around in the air.
Mia giggles before taking a bite of her burger.
“I almost get there. I’m this close,” I say. “And my heel gets caught in one of New York’s famous sidewalk cracks, and I go face-first into a pile of snow.”
“I bet that was cold,” Mia notes. “How’d you get up?”
“Luckily, this man was walking by and helped me up. That’s not common in the city. Most people would just watch you walk out into the middle of traffic and not blink an eye.” I take a drink of my vanilla milkshake and shrug. “The man hailed me a cab, and I got back to my apartment. It was a heck of a day.”
Dane sits next to me, not saying a word. We’re early for dinner at Mucker’s and are the only people in the actual dining area. There are a few groups on the patio.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” Mia says, wiggling in her chair. “May I be excused?”
“Go ahead,” Dane tells her.
She skips off, her spirits seemingly better than they were when we got here. I watch her ponytail disappear into the bathroom before I turn my attention back to her father.
“What do you think was wrong with her?” I ask.
“I don’t know.”
“It came out of nowhere. She was hugging me and happy as a lark, and then she wasn’t.” I take another drink. “She’s too young for hormones. Or is she? What age do girls start their periods these days?”
Dane goes pale. “I have no idea. Surely not at her age.”
“I wouldn’t think so. It seems so young.”
The waitress comes up to the table and clears away our empty plates and the giant bowl of ranch dressing we shared for our fries. Dane requests the check and a box for the rest of Mia’s burger.
He leans to the side to retrieve his wallet from his back pocket, and I catch him grinning at me.
“What?” I ask.
“Just thinking you smell better than the last time I saw you.”
“You should’ve seen my mom.” I groan. “She picked out a piece of hay right away and was like, ‘This looks like a good sign.’”
Dane laughs, handing his credit card to the waitress as she reappears.
“I’ll be right back,” she says.
My jaw drops. “You didn’t even look at the bill.”
“So?”
“So? She could charge you for ten burgers, Dane,” I say, flabbergasted. “You always check the bill before you pay.”
“I’ll get to see it again before I sign the receipt. And come on, Neely. It’s Mucker’s. If they overcharged me, I’d get free food for life.”
I twirl my straw around my glass. “I forget things like that are different here. You don’t check in New York and your bill goes up one hundred percent.”
The corner of his lip curls. I hold my breath as he moves his hand. He lays it on the inner corner of my thigh, his fingers pressing roughly against my skin. “I can tell you something else that goes up one hundred percent,” he says. “At least it does when you’re around.”
I slip my hand on top of his and bring it higher until our entwined fingers sit between my legs. “Are you talking about the temperature around here?” I tease.
“Well, it is awfully hot.” He nudges his hand against me. “But I was talking more about how erect certain things get.”
“What’s ‘erect’ mean?” Mia hops into her seat and grabs her milkshake. She looks from me to Dane. “Is ‘erect’ like a barrette? For my hair?”
“Yup.” Dane swallows. He jerks his hand from me like it is on fire. “Just like that.”
“That’s not true.” I roll my eyes. “‘Erect’ means something is stiff or straight. Like when you’re in a pyramid. Your legs should be erect because it’s easier for your bases to hold you. Get it?”