“I guess everything happens for a reason, right?” I ask, using his words from the other night.
“Do you believe that?”
“Not really. I think we can justify things if we look hard enough. And besides, once enough time has passed, you can usually find something good in a situation. Maybe that’s the ‘reason’ everyone talks about.”
He slides me a half smile. “Mia’s certainly my reason right now and for the next decade or so.”
“She’ll always be your reason,” I correct. “I saw your face today when she ran toward you.”
“I’m a sucker. What can I say?” He chuckles. “I worry by the time she has to move out, she’ll be so used to all my attention she won’t be able to hack the real world. But on the other hand, that might help deter a relationship if she ever thinks about having a boyfriend.”
“Oh, she’ll have a boyfriend,” I tease. “Have you seen those green eyes?”
He rubs his palm on his forehead, making me laugh. “Between Haley and me, she’s being flooded with ‘boys are bad’ rhetoric.”
“So,” I say, clearing my throat. “Who is Haley, anyway?”
As he stretches his arms over his head, his features fill with amusement. “I forgot about your little jealousy over her.”
“I’m not jealous. I have no reason to be jealous. Clearly.”
“Fine. I’m fucking her.”
“Fine.”
I look off into the distance, jealousy burning through me. Just as I’m ready to shove off the chair and head to my car, he bursts out laughing.
“She’s my first cousin,” he admits. “My dad’s brother came to town right after Katie left. Haley and I kind of hit it off in a non-incest kind of way.” He lets that sink in. “She had just graduated and didn’t have a plan, so I hired her to stay and help with Mia. She does that and works at the library. It’s a win-win.” He watches me sag against the rocker. “Does that help your jealousy?”
“I’m not jealous.”
“Sure. For the record, I find it kind of adorable that you’re still jealous to think I’m sleeping with someone else.”
“Of course you are,” I say. “Do you think I think either of us has been celibate in the last however many years?”
A shadow falls across his eyes, sending a chill up my spine.
“Besides,” I rush, “maybe you’ll find someone whom Mia loves and you love and you can create a family.”
“If there’s one thing I know,” he says, getting to his feet, “it’s that I won’t be falling in love. My track record with women is shit. I messed up with you. Something happened to Katie. I tried one more serious relationship with a girl named Sara, and she left. Mia was heartbroken.”
I stand too. Dane’s bodywash rolls through the air as he leans against the house. I fight hard to stay focused on the topic at hand and not on the sliver of skin showing right above his waistline.
“I get it,” I say. “I won’t be falling in love either.”
“Why?”
“You broke my heart. One other guy I was kind of serious about almost cost me my job. He hated that I worked with mostly men. Hated how many hours I worked. Hated that I was a terrible cook, because his mom was a chef with dinner on the table every night at six.”
“So I’m a dick and he was an ass. How’s that stopping you now?”
I think about that. “I’m not where I want to go yet. There are a hundred things I want to accomplish before I settle down and let someone else influence that,” I admit. “I told myself when I was a little girl that I’d get out of Dogwood Lane and prove that I could be something, and I don’t feel like I’ve proven that yet.”
His eyes twinkle with golden flecks as he watches me. “I think you’re something all right.”
Swatting him in the chest, I head toward the stairs. I stop short of descending. “I am sorry for what I said to you. I was sorry before I knew your child was Mia. I just didn’t know how to tell you or if I should. If it mattered.”
He shoves off the wall and saunters toward me. Towering over me, he gazes down. “It always matters. You always matter.” Scratching the back of his head, he sighs. “Mia thinks an awful lot of you. Thank you for helping her.”
“It was really my pleasure.”
An innuendo that has nothing to do with the topic at hand is on the tip of my tongue. When Dane smirks, I know it’s on his too. I also know I need to go. Now.
“Have a good night,” I say, heading down the steps.
“Hey, Neely.”
I stop in the middle of the sidewalk and turn around. He’s leaning against a post, his arms crossed over his chest.
“Yeah?” I ask.
“You made Mia really happy today. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“And . . .” He rolls his eyes for my benefit while trying not to crack a smile. “You might’ve, you know, made me happy with your apology. Even though I still think you need a communications class.”
“I’ll make a note of that.” I get to my car, my heart fluttering away, and open the door. Before climbing in, I look at him one final time. “Good night.”
“’Night.”
With a final grin that turns me to goo, he enters the house. I slip into my car and turn on the ignition and crank on the air-conditioning full blast. Still, I don’t move. Instead, I think about what he’s doing inside. Which room is his. What Mia is doing right now.
Grabbing my phone from the cup holder, I pull up my email and find the drafts folder.
Dear Mr. Snow,
Thank you very much for the invitation to interview. I can be available for an interview any day next week from the hours of 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. EST. Please respond with what fits your schedule best.
Sincerely,
Neely Kimber
I hit “Send,” put the car in drive, and head down the street, looking back only once.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
NEELY
So anyway, he has a brother.” Grace chomps on a carrot in my ear. “And I might’ve perused his social media last night, and let me just go ahead and let you know you’re welcome.”
“Let me guess: Dark hair. Blue eyes. Between six foot and six foot four? White-collar job with at least a master’s degree. Briefs, not boxers.”
She gasps. “How’d you know?”
I laugh. “Because you always pick out that type for me.”
“It’s what you like.”
A blue truck rolls up to the front of Aerial’s and parks a few spots away from me. Dane gives me a little wave as his boots hit the asphalt.
I switch the phone between my hands so Grace doesn’t hear if I suck in a breath or otherwise make note of the way my heart is racing. I don’t need that conversation.
“That’s not my type at all,” I tell her, taking in the way Dane’s jeans hug his thighs. “You got me all wrong, friend.”
“I know you better than you know you.”
Dane turns from the sidewalk up the walkway. As he nears, I’m less and less inclined to listen to Grace and more apt to watch Dane move.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since I left his house last night. Considering the conversation we had, I should be detaching. There’s no point in meddling around with ideas about what his house looks like inside or if I’d still feel like I’m floating if he kisses me behind my ear. Nope. None of that is helpful.
But all of that is true.
“Hey,” Dane says, giving me a lopsided grin as he breezes by.
“Hi.”
“Who was that?” Grace barks. “Come back here. Talk to me.”
“Will you hush?” I hiss into the phone.
“Who was that? Was it Dane?”
I take a few steps away from the entrance as a couple of mothers and daughters exit. “Yes. It was.”
“Well, not to be creepy or anything, but I looked him up online. I don’t know how to say this, Neely, but he’s freaking hot.”
“I know.” I moan. “I hate him for it.”
“Don’t hate him for it. Fuck him for it.”
I kick at a pebble, my lower stomach clenching at the mere suggestion. “It’s not like that.”
“Why?” she deadpans. “Explain to me why it’s not like that. From here, it looks very like that.”
“Because.”
“Words, Neely. Use them.”
I switch the phone between my hands again, catching it as it slips off my sweaty palms in the transfer. Once it’s nestled between my ear and shoulder, I sigh. “Look, he and I have a history together that isn’t . . . wonderful. I’ve told you that. But I was talking to him last night, and—”
“Like you ran into him in a cornfield or like you had dinner?”
“I went to his house. Uninvited,” I add as she begins howling through the line. “I went to say I was sorry for being rude. That’s it.”
“Do you know how many men’s houses or apartments I’ve just showed up to randomly? None. The answer is none.”
“Because you date men who are unavailable.”