We stared at each other in silent understanding until he took a deep breath and started to work on the top flap of the envelope.
“I thought I was ready for it to say anything . . . either positive or negative, but now I feel like I can only accept one response.”
I reached out and put a hand on his forearm as he worked the stack of papers out of the sleeve. His big hands were shaking and his eyes had shifted to a shade that was almost black.
“It’ll be okay whatever it says. We’ll make sure of it. There are options, Zeb.”
He nodded distractedly as his eyes furiously scanned the paperwork. His lips pursed in the framework of his facial hair and his cheeks went pale and then immediately flooded with a bright pink heat. His gaze shifted to me and wordlessly he handed me back the paperwork.
I took it from him but didn’t look at it. I couldn’t tell by his reaction if he needed me to hug him or slap him across his face.
“What does it say? Are you Hyde’s father?”
He just stared at me silently, his heavy breathing whooshing in and out as we watched each other. I was getting ready to read the results for myself when he suddenly whispered, “I’m a dad. I have a son.” His voice was so rough, so full of emotion and feeling, that it almost hurt me to hear it. I had trained myself to feel nothing, or barring that to be strong and keep it to myself. Yet here was this giant of a man feeling everything at once, and I had never seen anyone look more bewildered or happy.
“Zeb?” It was part question and part concern.
He turned to look at me and again he stated, “I’m a father. That little boy is mine.”
“Congratulations. I can’t wait to introduce you to your son.”
The corner of his mouth kicked up and a dark spark flared to life in his gaze. I couldn’t help myself when I saw that tiny flash of his teeth—all professionalism flew out the window.
Instead I got to my feet, put the positive test results down on the messy table, grabbed his whiskered cheeks in my hands, and I did something I had never done before.
I kissed a boy.
Meaning I initiated it. It was so out of character, so opposite to how I normally behaved, again I felt like someone else was inside of me, controlling my actions. It was like the Sayer before Denver didn’t even exist.
I pulled him to me, planted my mouth over his, and kissed the shit out of him. It was one of the greatest and boldest moments of my life, right next to moving and tracking down my brother. If the way he responded was any indication, Zeb was all for my acting like someone I absolutely was not.
CHAPTER 6
Zeb
I was in shock.
I was consumed with equal parts elation and terror.
I was internally freaking out, but on the outside everything was focused on the fact Sayer had pressed her soft and clever mouth to mine. My reaction to her kiss and the hot, thick way it made my blood start to churn was so much easier to think about, so effortless to hand myself over to, instead of the other, more daunting emotions hovering on the periphery.
Hyde was mine and that would change my life, but in this moment, in this brief second, I could simply kiss Sayer and put my hands on her like I had been dying to do for what seemed like forever. She felt like the only thing that was nailed down, fused, and unmoving in my new world. I wanted to cling to her, hold on to the security that her no-nonsense and matter-of-fact demeanor poured over me. But more than any of that, I wanted to tangle my tongue around hers and fill my hands with her endless amounts of soft skin. I wanted to thank her with my hands and mouth for not looking at me like I had failed, like I had screwed up again. I made a mistake that I was going to do everything in my power to fix, and she understood that. At least the way we tried to ravage each other made it seem like she understood it.
I wasn’t a bad guy but I was a flawed one, and for her to see that, accept it unquestioningly as she pressed up against me like she couldn’t get close enough, made me want to devour her.
I deepened the press of my mouth against hers and put my hands around her narrow waist so that I could spin her so that she was the one with her backside propped against the edge of the table and I was leaning all the way into her.
I was dirty from a day of hard work but she didn’t seem to mind dust and grime as her fingers tangled in the messy mop of my hair or as my rough hands left fingerprints on her clothes as I started to pull at the hem of her silky shirt where it was tucked into the top of her skirt. She kissed me back with equal fervor, her quick tongue darting across mine and her teeth pausing to sink into the curve of my lip when I pulled back just a fraction to make sure I wasn’t tearing her delicate skin up with my beard.
She looked good with her blue eyes hazy with lust and too big in her face. When she flicked her tongue out to lick across the damp arch of her upper lip, I groaned and stopped trying to be considerate of her fancy outfit and shoved my hands briskly up the sides of her rib cage until my fingers encountered the edge of satin and lace. I would bet good money that this woman wore underwear that cost more than my Jeep payment every month, and my dick twitched at the idea of getting to see her in nothing but that. I was already hard from just being around her, but feeling the velvety press of her skin against my own was enough to have blood pumping and throbbing into my cock and making the situation behind my zipper decidedly uncomfortable.
She watched me silently as I brushed my thumb along the edge of her bra while I tried to read her reaction in that ocean-colored gaze. There was heady passion floating around in there, but it was at war with obvious uncertainty. She wasn’t telling me to stop and her chest was rising and falling just as fast as mine was, but there was a hint of desperation in her hold on my hair, and once I had pulled back from the kiss, she didn’t move or initiate another touch or kiss.