I leaned up on my toes to kiss him. “Okay. I’l see you later.”
The professor began lecture just as I slid into my seat. Kim leaned over to whisper in my ear.
“Beth and I are going for coffee after class. You coming?”
“Sure. I’l drive,” I offered.
I felt like I hadn’t spent enough time with Kim and Beth lately. An afternoon at the café would give us time to catch up. At least I would get caught up on their lives; my news included almost getting kidnapped and tortured, and my boyfriend nearly beating the man to death who had tried.
The three of us huddled at the table of the coffee shop, waiting to thaw. The temperature had dropped significantly after lunch, and the wind was brutal. I was glad that I would be lying on a beach somewhere in just over a week.
I sipped my coffee as Beth chattered about Chad. Things between them were progressing, and she mentioned she wasn’t homesick for the first time since she’d come to Brown. She was even considering getting an apartment in the summer instead of returning to Oklahoma.
I tried to concentrate on the conversation, but I found myself focusing on the new information Jared had forced out of Dawson. I wanted to know what it was that Jared was keeping from me; it couldn’t be good news.
“Nigh. Nigh! Where are you? You look like you’re a mil ion miles away,” Kim said. She and Beth were both staring at me with matching expressions.
“Ugh, I’m sorry. I just have a lot going on,” I said, blinking.
Beth’s cel phone hummed. By her tone I knew that it was Chad. Apparently he was out and about, and she invited him to join us.
“I hope that’s okay,” Beth said to us after disconnecting the line.
Kim shrugged. “Fine with me.”
“Ryan is with him,” Beth added, eyeing me.
I made sure my face was smooth. I hadn’t seen Ryan since Jared had told me that Ryan and I were meant to be together. I wasn’t sure how to act around him with that knowledge.
Ten minutes later, the door chimed as Chad and Ryan strol ed through it. They were both in gym clothes, sweaty and tired.
Ryan had his white hat pul ed down over his eyes and didn’t speak when he sat across from me at the table. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.
“What have you two been up to?” Beth asked, standing up to sit on Chad’s lap.
“We just finished a basketbal game. We lost,” Chad said in an embittered tone.
“They cheated. Repeatedly,” Ryan chuckled, only his smile visible.
“What? You can’t handle prison rules?” Kim elbowed him, making him sway for a moment.
Ryan pul ed his hat up and over to the side, his eyes final y in view. “I can handle prison rules, it’s the cheating when there is supposed to be rules that bothers me. I lost twenty bucks!”
“Oh no!” Beth said, laughing. “Did you lose money, Baby?” Chad pursed his lips and nodded, stil brooding. “Aw!” she said, rubbing his back.
We sat at the table, discussing the game. Our laughter saturated the room, causing the other patrons to stare. After a while, Ryan leaned over and pul ed my chair closer to him, the legs grating against the floor. He stretched his arm around the back of my chair and smiled, flashing the deep dimple in his cheek.
Ryan’s destiny to be my future husband popped into my head, and a strange ache overwhelmed me. Ryan’s future was forever changed the second Jared sat on that bench. I would never take that moment back, but I cared about Ryan. I wanted him to be happy, and that was impossible if I stayed in the picture. One of these days I would have to remove myself completely from his life, and because of that, either Claire or Jared would be separated from their family.
Ryan gripped my shoulder and pul ed me to his side. “Hey. What’s wrong?”
“Hmmm?” I said, distracted.
“She’s been like that the whole time she’s been here,” Kim complained.
Ryan hugged me to him again and I turned, throwing my arms around him. He tensed, obviously not expecting my sudden display of affection. After his initial shock wore off, he rested his chin on my shoulder and enveloped me in his arms.
He puffed a short laugh. “What’s going on, Nigh?” he whispered into my neck.
I shook my head. I couldn’t tel him, and even if I did, I didn’t want him to know.
“We’re, uh…we’re going to take off,” Chad said.
“Is it al right if I catch a ride with you?” Kim asked.
I pul ed away from Ryan and looked up at my friends. “It’s Friday. Did you want to go out later?”
Kim shot a look at Ryan and then back at me. “I already have plans. Tomorrow night?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“I’l catch a ride with Nina,” Ryan said.
Beth and I both looked at Chad, who shrugged. “Cool. See ya.” He lifted his hand to wave and they filed out of the coffee shop.
I looked at Ryan, embarrassed. “It’s official. I’m a freak.”
“You’re not a freak. Chad was planning on taking Beth back with him, anyway. They have dinner plans.”
“I cleared the table in less than two minutes. I’m a freak.”
“You want to grab some dinner?”
I tried to think of a delicate way to turn him down, but he spoke before anything came to mind.
“We’l just grab something quick…go through a drive thru. Me and Josh are going to grab a few beers later, anyway,” he explained.
“Oh. Yeah, okay,” I said, standing up.
We sat in the parking lot closest to Andrews devouring our fast food. The slogan game had kept us entertained since we left the coffee shop. Ryan countered my feeble attempts to stump him so quickly that I couldn’t help but double over with laughter.
“Have you been practicing?” I giggled, exhausted from laughing so hard.
“I’m not gonna lie. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands, waiting to heal,” he chuckled, throwing up a piece of chicken and catching it in his mouth.
“What are you doing tonight?” he asked.
“I’m probably going to get some laundry together, take it over to Jared’s,” I said without thinking.
“You’re staying over there again? I thought you said you weren’t moving in,” he said, this time without his usual attitude.
“I’m not,” I snapped, waiting for him to come back with something spiteful.
Ryan sighed and took my hand. “I don’t want to argue about it anymore, Nigh. I’ve said everything I needed to say on the subject.”
“I don’t want us to fight, either. I want us to be able to hang out and be friends like we used to. I miss you,” I said, suddenly hopeful that we could get beyond al of the infatuation nonsense.
“I miss you, too. I’l quit being a jerk,” he said, brushing my bangs out of my eyes. “When you hugged me tonight, I realized how ridiculous I’ve been. I don’t want to lose you, Nina. It doesn’t matter if you’re with him, or me, or anyone else. What matters is that we’re friends, and that you can count on me being here when you need me.”
I pul ed in a shal ow breath through my nose, trying to keep my eyes from glossing over with tears. He didn’t know that we would have to lose each other if he wanted to be happy. I just smiled and nodded my head, and Ryan hugged me once more.
“Truce?”