When I’m done, I make my way to the rec room and try to focus on reading. But I still feel him.
In fact, I feel him so much that I don’t feel anything else. Not when Hunter comes to me with the meds. Not when Roger and Annie say hi to me as they pass me by.
It becomes so bad, my absent-mindedness and my need for him, that I almost go searching for him.
But I won’t.
First of all, I overheard one of the nurses say that he’s on a conference call. And second of all, I don’t want to hunt him down. I want him to hunt me down. I want to see if he’ll find ways to see me.
If he’ll come for me.
I’m praying for it. Because if he does, then maybe he does feel something for me. There’s a teeny tiny light at the end of this dark tunnel.
A moment later, I see it. The light.
It comes in the form of a tall man, with polished wingtips and hands thrust inside the pockets of his dress pants. My eyes travel up and up, until I reach his face. His beautiful, carved face.
As much as I have come to love the cloak of darkness, I find that I love the day more.
I see his features clearly. I see the strength of his shoulders. The softness of his mouth he has been kissing me with, or rather driving me insane with. I see his tapering waist that I’ve been wrapping my legs around. It looks and feels like a slab of rock.
“Willow,” he murmurs, tipping his chin at me.
His eyes flick up and down my face, as he takes me in and my loose hair, like he’s doing the same thing, absorbing me in the daylight. He lingers a little bit on my chest, probably reading my t-shirt. Today, it says: “Beware of the love child of a Disney Princess and Hermione.”
“Dr. Blackwood.” I nod, trying to keep my voice less breathy and more unaffected. Not sure if I managed it, though. Swallowing, I try again. “Is your meeting done?”
“Have you been spying on me?”
I can’t help the slight smile that overcomes my face. “No. The nurses were talking.”
He accepts the answer with a nod. “Yes. Just.”
So he did come looking for me as soon as it was over.
Thank you, God.
“I see you’re not playing poker,” he comments in a casual voice.
I glance at the table across the room where the whole gang is playing poker – the girls, Tristan, Roger, Annie, and Lisa. Despite looking pale and gaunt due to The Heartstone Effect, Tristan is shooting his signature smirk at Renn and she’s ignoring him, blushing like crazy. They asked me to play too, but I refused.
“I’m not interested in poker anymore,” I say, looking back at him. “Besides, I wasn’t very good. I always lost.”
He frowns, albeit slightly. “That’s because you weren’t taught well. There’s no magic to poker. It’s all very scientific.”
At this, my smile becomes a grin. Gosh, how much have I smiled ever since I came out here to Heartstone. Ever since I met him. Probably a million times.
He’s still jealous.
“Maybe you should be the one to teach me, you know. All the ways of poker and…” I trail off, throwing him a smirk of my own. “Other worldly things.”
He stares into my eyes for a few beats, his gaze intense and full of something secret and crackling. When he’s done with his perusal and making me squirm in my seat and waking up all the sore muscles, he says, “Can I see you in my office for a second?”
I sit up, alert. “Uh, right now?”
The look he gives me hits me right in my belly and the sore muscles of my thighs and ass. “Yes.”
And then he steps back and leaves, or rather strides out of there. How does he do that? Pack so much sexual energy and authority into one word: yes.
I watch him go. He’s probably expecting me to follow him right away.
And I will.
I know I will follow him. There’s no other choice.
Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.
It’s dangerous and reckless to see him in his office in broad daylight. It’s practically setting ourselves to be caught.
I stand up from my seat, nonetheless.
He was right. It is madness. But madness is us. The rest of everything is inconsequential. Besides, I only have six days.
As I walk toward the door, my eyes catch on someone. Beth. She’s on the other side of the room and I have a feeling that she’s watched our conversation, Simon’s and mine. She saw that we were talking to each other. I wonder if she saw the intimacy there. The familiarity.
Is there any familiarity, though? Did we change in ways we don’t even know about?
My heart pounds and I expect her to walk over to me. Stop me, maybe. But she throws me a smile before going back to the nurse she was talking to, or rather, supposed to be talking to.
Feeling an immense amount of relief, I leave, and a minute later, I’m at his door, knocking on it.
He opens it before I can even finish that knock and I almost barge in. The room appears dark, darker than usual. And I realize it’s the windows. The blinds on them are closed, cutting off the daylight, throwing the room into shadow.
It ratchets up my heartbeat.
He closes the door and I hear two clicks, instead of the usual one. One of the door closing and the other of it being locked.
Locked doors. Such a luxury in a place like this.
Our rooms don’t have locks. We don’t get the privilege of it. I know it’s for our own safety but still. It doesn’t make it any easier.
No sharp objects. No privacy. Life interrupted.
So then, how did my life start in a place like this where all lives go on pause? How did it happen that I found everything I’ve been looking for on the Outside, here on the Inside?
It’s him.
This man with gray eyes and dark hair, who just locked the door and who also closed the blinds before I got here. Who came for me as soon as he was done with his meeting. Who found ways to find me. And who’s staring at me with such frustration and desire that all my thoughts are about one thing.
I want to kiss him.
Yes, I want to kiss it out of him. His lust and his agitation. I want to taste it. Taste the flavor of it, of him on my tongue.
I want to suck him off.
My gaze falls below his belt.
“Stop staring at my cock, Willow,” he warns.
And of course, I do the opposite. Doesn’t he know me by now? I glance at it again, and I swear I see it lurch inside the confines of his pants.
“Your pants are too tight,” I tell him sweetly, trying to act like it’s not a big deal. “I thought so the first day I saw you. They show off way too much. And I think I just saw it move. You know, FYI.”
My comment makes his eyes smolder, and he begins walking over to me in slow, predatory steps.
Bad move.
Such a bad move on his part if he doesn’t want me to stare at his dick.
I can’t help it. When he walks, his pants stretch against his muscles and my eyes automatically go to his thighs. His powerful, powerful thighs, and well, his powerful cock.
The reason for all my dreams and discomfort.
Simon comes to stand in front of me. “Maybe the it is too big for my pants. You ever thought of that?”
Smirking, I shake my head. “Maybe the ego is too big for your head.”
He bends down, all menacing-like. “Are you done making inconsequential comments?”
“Maybe.”
He smiles slightly, which makes me tingle a little bit. He reaches out and takes my book from my hands. And before I can protest, he throws it at the leather couch we’ve been standing by.