She got a faraway look and he instantly wanted to kick his own ass.
Instead, he gave his wife a squeeze and growled, “Cassidy.”
“Hot tubs would be rad.”
Jesus.
“We’re not putting hot tubs outside each cabin.”
“A communal one,” she pushed.
“No.”
Her eyes lit. “One for us?”
That he’d consider.
He communicated this to her by grunting.
She added a bright smile to her bright eyes, but she didn’t say anything.
“So . . .” he prompted.
Suddenly, she became serious.
“Okay, keep an open mind,” she said to begin.
At this, Deacon frowned.
If he had it in him to give, he’d give it. She knew that. He’d told her that. Repeatedly. Then they’d lived that for years.
What could this “favor” be that had her preparing him when the only time he’d said no to her (and meant it) was when she wanted to have Pepper’s ears pierced when she was two, and he’d wanted Pepper to be of an age she could somewhat intelligently make decisions about needles being poked into her body for non-medical reasons.
Cassie got his aversion to needles and didn’t push it.
They agreed to give their daughter the option on her seventh birthday.
“Baby,” he whispered, not liking her hesitation.
“Promise to have an open mind?”
Jesus.
“Do you have to ask that?”
She pushed into him and replied quietly, “I do when I’m going to try to talk you into having another kid. Ruth is getting so big. Pepper will be in school soon. And I’m just not ready to live in a house without a baby in it.”
His chin shot into his throat.
Um . . .
What?
“You do not have to ask that shit, and you definitely do not have to act weird about it or explain it,” he growled.
“Dea—”
“You want another kid, we’ll have another kid,” he went on.
His wife blinked.
“Three things on this earth I give a shit about, you and our girls. I got enough in me to give a shit about a fourth if that fourth is something made of you and me.”
“You love Milagros,” she said softly.
“I like Milagros. I respect her. I love you and our girls.”
“You love Raid,” she kept at him.
He couldn’t deny that, but he sure as shit wasn’t going to confirm it verbally since she was missing his point.
She snuggled into him, mumbling, “You so love Raid.”
“Whatever,” he mumbled back. But he spoke normal when he said, “Ditch the birth control pills.”
Her eyes widened, “Like . . . now?”
“I reckon we got just under an hour before the girls come home so you’re not leaving this bed. But yeah. Later. After the girls are down.”
“God, sometimes I forget just how much you love me,” she whispered, staring at him in wonder.
But now she was pissing him off.
“I’m not giving you a kidney, I’m givin’ you a kid which, incidentally, is a kid you’ll be giving me,” he clipped.
He saw that she immediately caught on she’d poked the bear.
“Okay, Badass,” she said soothingly.
Deacon was not soothed.
“Just to be clear, you needed a kidney, I’d give you a kidney,” he continued.
She now appeared like she didn’t know whether to laugh or start weeping.
“I know,” she forced out.
“You really wanted hot tubs, I’d get you hot tubs.”
“Baby,” she breathed, pressing even closer.
“You’re it. You’re my life. You’re the reason I breathe. You’re my wife. You’re my savior. My life had no meaning until you entered it.”
Her voice was choked when she ordered, “Stop.”
He didn’t stop.
“And you know all that shit, so don’t act like you don’t know how much I love you. You fuckin’ do.”
“Yes, I do,” she whispered.
Only then did Deacon shut up.
Cassidy knew her husband, so she gave him time.
Then she said, “I’d give you a kidney too.”
“I would not allow that.”
Another blink, this one different.
It was what he’d named in his head the “Oh Shit Blink.”
“You wouldn’t?” she asked.
As per his norm, he ignored the Oh Shit Blink and prepared for one part of all they had that was just like everything else.
Something Deacon goddamned cherished.
Beautiful war.
“No way you’d walk around with one kidney after givin’ me the other one. You can do it if it’s my kidney that you needed, because if you didn’t get it you wouldn’t have any, which would mean I wouldn’t have you. But not givin’ me one of yours. Something happened to the last one you had, I’d not be down with that.”
She pulled slightly away. “So, you’d walk around with one kidney after giving me the other one, but you wouldn’t let me do the same for you?”
“Fuck no.”
She pulled farther away.
He yanked her back.
She knew him so she didn’t push that.
What she did was declare, “That’s crazy.”
“It fucking is not.”
“I should be able to give you my kidney,” she snapped.
“Baby, you carried and pushed out two beautiful girls for me, and you’re up for goin’ for round three. You’re not giving me a kidney.”
“I cannot believe you won’t let me give you a kidney.”
“I won’t need one, so there’s no reason to be pissed about it.”
“It’s the principle, Deacon.”
“I don’t care, Cassie.”
“If you need a kidney, I’m giving you a kidney!” Now she was near-on shouting.
Right, this had now officially gotten out of hand.
Not to mention, it was fucking ridiculous.
“Babe—”
“No way!” she cut him off. “Welcome to the new millennium, Deacon Deacon! Where the damsel gets to save the dude in distress if that’s the way it goes.”
Time to contain this.
He cupped her jaw in his hand and dipped his face to hers. “And what if something happened to you? What would our girls do?”
“And what if something happened to you? I’d be Rebecca.”
His head jerked. “Who?”
“Rebecca!” she shouted. “From This Is Us, except without the marrying the new guy part. Definitely without the marrying the best friend part. I’d be lost. I’d be gone. I’d never get over it.”
“Baby, you gotta quit watching that show,” he muttered. “It fucks you up.”
“Because I’m Rebecca!” she yelled. “And you’re Jack! We’re the best together. We’re a unit. We come as one. We’re Deacon and Cassidy. We’re just a we. You can’t have one be a we. You lose one, you lose everything. We wouldn’t be called This Is Us if we lost you because there is no us without you.”
That felt freaking phenomenal, but . . .
Jesus Christ.
“Cassie, baby—”
“And our girls would be Kate and Kevin and Randall. They’d be all fucked up without their daddy. Forget it. In thirty years I’m not going to endure some hideous visit to a rehab center and have all our shit rolled out in front of some stony-faced counselor. No way! I couldn’t hold us together if we lost you. So you are totally getting my kidney!”