I did not think this same approach would be welcomed from me.
I just knew I had to find an approach.
But for the first time in my lifetime, prying into someone’s affairs, their emotions, their past, was not coming easy.
Which made matters worse, since this time was the most important I’d ever faced.
“She’s gonna be fine.”
Noc’s words pulled me from my reverie and I turned my head to look at him where he was snuggled into me, his front to my back.
“Sorry?”
His expression was gentle as was his tone.
“Circe, sweetheart. You don’t have to worry. She’s gonna be fine.”
I knew this. She was with Dax. He’d sink a blade in his own heart before he’d do that first thing to make her not fine.
However, I hesitated sharing this with Noc since I didn’t wish him to know what actually was on my mind.
“You’re a million miles away, but you can come back home. She’ll be good,” he continued to assure me.
“Of course,” I murmured noncommittally, feeling some guilt I wasn’t assuaging his concerns by sharing the truth.
“You can call her in the morning,” he stated.
I nodded.
I also studied his face.
He liked that I was concerned about Circe (he thought). He liked being nestled with me on the couch watching TV.
And he loved me.
He was in what I thought was a Noc Mood. A sweet one. An attentive one. A gentle one.
A mood that might be conducive to a certain kind of discussion.
I should face the issue head on. Tell him what I saw in him. All that I saw. Then ask him to share with me the pain he was holding, pain no longer hidden.
But it would seem I had the courage to commit treason for my country. I also had the courage to face three witches who could have obliterated me with a blink. And I had the courage to leave my entire world to travel to one that was all new to me.
But I didn’t have the courage to do one thing to force Noc to face whatever caused his pain by making him share that pain with me.
Blast.
“I’ll call her in the morning,” I told him.
“Good,” he muttered.
“I love you,” I blurted and his head gave a slight, surprised jerk before his eyes warmed and he bent his face closer to mine.
“I love you too, Frannie,” he whispered.
I wanted to use that opening to go on and find the right words to erase whatever was causing him harm without making him face it. To share with him all he meant to me and make him know he could release it just like he’d given that same gift to me.
I had many talents in many areas.
This just wasn’t one.
And I found it immensely frustrating.
Noc took us out of the moment by bending even deeper and kissing my nose.
He then turned back to the TV, lifting the remote to rewind the action to when he took his attention from it.
He was interested in this program.
Thus now was not the time.
But I had to find the time.
And I had to find a way.
I just didn’t know how to do either.
* * * * *
The next afternoon, the phone to my ear, the fifth time I’d called, I finally connected.
“’Lo?” sounded in my ear slumberously.
“Well?” I demanded.
“Frannie?”
I was no longer annoyed that yet another person was addressing me thus, this time Circe.
I had other things on my mind.
“Yes, Frannie,” I confirmed, even though I knew my name came up on her phone like all the names of the callers came up on mine and I didn’t need to do so. “I’ve been trying to reach you all day,” I snapped.
“Sorry. I’ve been busy,” she told me.
“You don’t sound busy. Are you napping at work?” I asked, not entirely incredulously. Circe seemed rather industrious. However, it could be that she was exhausted for a particular reason.
“Well, I’m not at work.”
I looked to my watch, surprised at this for I’d learned working hours in that world were eight in the morning until five in the evening (normally) and these were Circe’s hours. And right then, it was a quarter after three.
“Is something amiss at your employment?” I asked.
“No. It’s just I didn’t go into work today.”
I had no reply.
Her voice dipped when she said, “Dax hasn’t either.”
Oh my.
“Right,” I stated smartly. “Carry on,” I bid and concluded with, “Goodbye.”
And I hung up.
Then I started chuckling.
Still doing it, I reengaged my phone and called Noc.
“In other words, like I said,” he began after I relayed this information to him, “she’s not only fine, she’s more than fine.”
I could not argue that, didn’t even want to, so I said nothing.
“We done gossiping about Circe?” he queried with humor in his voice.
“For now,” I replied.
“Right,” he said. “Later, babe. Love you.”
“And I you.”
We hung up.
I was, indeed, done gossiping about Circe.
To Noc.
But I moved from where I was to Valentine’s kitchen to find Josette, who was practicing her this-world culinary skills.
Because I was not actually done gossiping about Circe.
News this good was news too good not to share.
* * * * *
Two days later, in the afternoon, I moved through a room in the home the agent was showing us, feeling it.
Feeling everything.
She’d found it.
It was perfect.
I had my phone to my ear and it was ringing.