“He terrifies me,” she whispered.
“Why?” Noc whispered back. “He’s not Lahn. He’s not from a place they rape women to make them their wives. I can see you looking at him and seeing only that. But that isn’t who he is.”
“It’s not that. I saw Lahn with his Circe and I know even Lahn isn’t that.”
“Then what is it?”
“He’s everything.”
Again, unexpected.
And again, Noc fell silent.
“He’s meant for me,” she kept on, doing it not sounding hopeful, sounding terrified. “He’s mine.”
“I think from what I saw last night, you’re right. He is,” Noc agreed.
“I have never, not once, been happy,” she told him.
Noc felt that slice through his gut.
“Circe.”
“I have never, not once, except long ago in a time that seems so far away it’s like it was a dream, the time my parents were alive, I have never felt love.”
Christ.
She was killing him.
“Babe.”
“I know I have friends who care deeply about me. That’s not the same.”
It wasn’t.
It wasn’t the love of a man.
It wasn’t that love growing into family, be it a family of two or the family those two made.
“I want him,” she admitted.
Finally they were getting somewhere.
He moved close, saying, “Circe, all I’ve been saying means you can have him.”
She shook her head. “I finally escaped Baldur, only to be set upon by pirates, passed amongst them like a toy. I escaped them, only to be put into the Wife Hunt in Korwahk. At my end, I spirited myself away, only to put my twin in my place where she was promptly violated.”
“That worked out,” he reminded her.
“But it could have been disastrous,” she reminded him.
“It wasn’t,” he stated.
“It could have been, and the point is, Noc, I don’t have very good luck.”
“You are not wrong about that, Circe, and now you’re at a crossroads. You can live safe, which means you live half a life, or you can keep trying your luck because, serious as shit, babe, you’re long due for a windfall and I see it right within your reach. You just gotta reach for it.”
She looked hopeful before that melted to uncertain.
“What if he doesn’t want me?” she asked almost shyly.
Noc fought a grin.
“Babe, were you conscious last night?” he asked back.
Again with the hope that went uncertain.
She lifted and dropped her free hand. “I’m a witch. I’m from another world. I’ve had…things have been done to me…”
She trailed off and Noc reached out and took her hand.
“Those things were done to you. Those things don’t make you. You are what you’ve always been, Circe. A beautiful, strong, caring woman. You took all that was piled on you and never gave up. You escaped Baldur only to end up in a situation that was just as bad. You got kidnapped and landed in another bad situation and you still didn’t give up. You found a way to get out. That could have gone really bad, but it didn’t, and in the end, the woman you switched with is happy, in love, making babies and her father thinks of you as his daughter. You got all that because you had every reason to give up and you never did. Don’t give up now. You’ve got so much to give, babe, the lucky one in this scenario is not you reaching out to Dax. It’ll be Dax, if you find the courage to reach.”
“You’re very sweet,” she murmured.
“Maybe. But mostly I’m very right.”
She gave that a moment to sink in before she stated, “This remains to be seen but there is something you’re wrong about and that’s that you couldn’t be ‘that guy’ for me.”
Shit.
What?
He made himself stay close, holding her hand, hoping like fuck he hadn’t read what went on between them months ago wrong.
He saw a small smile touch her mouth before she shared, “I don’t mean I wanted that between us, and it wouldn’t matter because, you’ll remember, you didn’t want that either. What was understood then is understood now. But you speak like you’re not the kind of man strong enough to be ‘that guy’ who can be all he needs to be for a woman who needs him to be just that. But if you weren’t, then Franka would be in a very different place right now and not looking like the gold of the sun shines through her, when before she looked weighed down by the blanket of eternal night.”
It was that that made Noc release her and step back.
At his movements, her brows drew together.
“You are that man, Noc, you must know this,” she said gently.
He shook his head. “I was just the guy who happened to be there when shit went down and looking back, I was half in love with her already so I’m lucky this is where we ended up.”
When he was done speaking, she stared at him, murmuring, “Lucky?”
He ignored that and carried on. “But we’re not talking about me.”
Before he could say more, Circe butted in.
“We weren’t. We are now.”
“I’m here right now for you,” he asserted.
“Then good. Thank you. So I’ll make a deal with you, Noc. I’ll think about not playing it safe. I’ll think about trying my luck. But only if you’ll think about the absolute rubbish you just handed me.”
Noc felt his head jerk and his jaw tighten.
“You’re right, I know her story,” she said softly. “And I need to speak to her. I was…” she gave a short shake of her head, “not myself last night. I was cruel even knowing she didn’t deserve it. I will…I’ll apologize. But Noc, it’s impossible for me to understand how you can come here championing this man for me not knowing you’re that man for Franka.”