Suddenly it occurred to me that Noc was no longer pulled away and the temperature of the room was no longer chilled by his mood, this making me focus on his shadowed face again.
It was as if he felt my focus, for the instant I did he asked, “You done?”
“With what?” I queried.
“Telling me off.”
“Yes,” I answered.
“And while you were seething after you did that, did you plot my murder, visualize beating the crap outta me or make your plan to contact Valentine and have her come and get you?”
This question made me recall a conversation I’d had with Cora months ago where she was describing, at some length, the investigative prowess of the “police” in her old world. I knew nothing of the skills or duties of the city guard and had never had any interest (though, when Cora was speaking, I was all ears).
What Cora said about this was impressive, and not simply because I knew Noc engaged in these activities and I thought everything about him was impressive.
However, having a naked man in bed with you and being in the middle of an argument with said man who also had what appeared to be significant powers of insight, was vexing.
“I’ll be contacting Valentine,” I shared.
“No you won’t.”
Gods.
How very Noc.
I sighed and looked to the dark ceiling.
“Midnight soul?” This question came not with the nuance of humor that had been threading his tone but with something solemn.
I looked back at him.
“You are aware you’re in bed with Franka Drakkar, not my twin of this world, aren’t you?”
It was then I wondered about my twin in this world, something I’d never thought to do.
Gods, I hoped she didn’t live in this very city. How awkward would that be, running into her?
“Babe, you wanna focus on me, or are you dialing up Valentine?”
I did as he not-exactly asked and focused on him.
“I’m not ‘dialing up’ Valentine.”
“So you wanna focus on me? Seein’ as we’re havin’ a kinda important conversation.”
He was right.
Drat.
“I’m focused on you, Noc,” I assured.
“Midnight soul?” he pressed.
“Yes?”
Abruptly, all I could see was a shadow, that shadow being his face, which was a breath from mine.
“Is that what you think you’ve got?”
I felt my brows draw together, but since he likely didn’t have night vision along with his awesome powers of deduction, I stated my confusion.
“You find this surprising?”
“Frannie, you took your brother’s beatings since you knew that was an option.”
To that, it was me who had no reply.
“That’s the most selfless thing I’ve ever known,” he declared.
Why, oh why did we have to get into this?
However, in all fairness to Noc, we needed to do just that. If he didn’t already know from things the others told him, he needed to know who he had naked and lying abed with him.
“You know I’ve done terrible things, Noc,” I said quietly.
“I know you’ve acted like a complete bitch to keep people from getting close, Frannie. But that doesn’t mean dick.”
“I’m of my parents, and even midnight has a hue. Their souls are void.”
“Your dad is an arrogant prick,” he returned. “Your mom, I don’t know, but the minute she lost her power she lost herself, so the only thing I can think about that, is that her power was her, that and the position her husband gave her. He’s an asshole. She’s worse, because in the end she’s actually just nothing and really always has been.”
This was all very true.
Which made me wonder why he would question my assertion.
“They made me,” I reiterated.
“They did and that’s the miracle of life, babe. Some people get good from good. Some people are good and make bad. And some people are like your folks. They’re wastes of space and they created you and your brother, who are absolutely not.”
I adored that he thought that way.
It was just that it simply wasn’t true.
“You don’t know the person I was.”
“I know what you said to Maddie, right to her face. Lo told me. He knows your story now, Frannie. Like everyone else, he’s changed his tune about you. That said, he’s still pissed about that and he’ll never forgive you for it because that’s the guy he is. He loves his wife, you wounded her, he’s never gonna let that go. And I get that, what you said to her was not nice. It was nasty.”
To be honest, though I wouldn’t share this verbally at that juncture (or maybe ever), his example was a poor one.
I did not know Maddie very well. She’d gone before all had happened at the Winter Palace with me. But I still did not quite understand her and Apollo’s relationship.
It was none of my business, this was true. And it was without doubt I shouldn’t have spoken my mind to Madeleine.
However, the circumstances were dire, my lover was being tortured by malevolent witches, I was in the middle of being caught committing treason against my country, and, at least in that instance, I felt I should have some leeway.
“It was also the way you had to be because of what those parents of yours did to you,” Noc concluded.
Suddenly afraid to touch him, but needing to do so, I lifted my hand and wrapped it around his jaw before I said quietly, “Noc, I fear you’re making excuses because you hold feelings for me and this allows you not to see me for me. Or the me I used to be before all that occurred.”