“First of all ,” she said, shifting her weight, “it’s never going to happen. Second, I’d have a hard time protecting you when I’m as round as a bowling bal .”
“I bet you could,” Ryan said. “I can stay out of trouble for nine months.”
Claire raised an eyebrow. “You can’t stay out of trouble for one month. You’ve been hospitalized, had major surgeries, and needed extensive rehabilitation three times in as many years.”
His eyes turned soft. “I would if I had to. I’d do it for you.”
She cupped her hand over his mouth. “Shut up.”
Jared fidgeted, feeling out of place. “Uh…we should go.”
“No!” Claire said. She pul ed back her hand and wiped it on her leggings. “No, you should stay. I’ll uh...I’ll get more chairs.”
“I’ll help you,” Jared said. He briefly kissed my cheek before fol owing Claire into the hal .
“Wow,” I said, taking a seat beside the bed. “You can clear a room better than I. And that’s saying something.”
Ryan frowned. “She’s tough. Tougher than you.”
“Without a doubt,” I nodded.
“No…I mean yes, but not in the physical way. She’s here every second while I heal. I know she has to watch over me, but she doesn’t have to sit beside my bed and hold my hand.”
“She holds your hand?”
Ryan offered a half-smile. “The first morning—when I woke up—she was holding my hand with both of hers. The second I opened my eyes, she let go. But yes, she did.”
“Okay, but you don’t have to torture her. By her actions, she must care about you. This is Claire you’re dealing with. You can’t force it.”
Ryan turned on his side, leaning on his elbow. “Nina, you’re pregnant. Some rough shit is going to go down. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the day you give birth to Lil’ Bitty Saint Ryel.” He pointed to my stomach, “But I think we can all agree that taking time for granted is precarious.”
“Precarious,” I said. “I’m so impressed.”
“Shut your face,” Ryan grinned. “I love her. I want to be with her. And not just around her. It’s even worse knowing she’s not here, but she’s stil somewhere around.”
“I know the feeling,” I said. My eyes unfocused as I remembered a not-so-distant past where I struggled studying in my dorm room at Andrews Hal , knowing Jared was somewhere nearby. Talking into a microphone hanging from my wal , standing in the freezing rain. Knowing he would come.
“I think she likes me, too, she just won’t admit it. I just gotta crack that shel .”
Ryan’s voice snapped me back to reality. “Good luck,” I said.
Claire and Jared returned carrying chairs in their arms.
“I love you,” Ryan said, looking straight at Claire. She stood, speechless.
“Smooth,” I nodded.
“I…uh…,” Claire said, looking around. She sat the chairs on the floor and then looked at her brother. “Someone else might visit…I better get more chairs.”
When the door closed behind her, Ryan looked down and laughed once without humor. “So stubborn.”
“Better than stupid,” Jared said.
Ryan’s head jerked up. “Excuse me?”
“Let her do her job,” Jared said, his voice flat.
“Coming from you? That’s hysterical.”
The tension between them thickened the air in the room. “Come on, guys,” I said.
Jared’s eyes were tight, and Ryan leaned forward a bit. Any civility between them had always seemed forced. It was only a matter of time before they exchanged words.
Jared shifted. “What is that supposed to mean, exactly, Ryan?”
“You seem to forget why everyone is in this mess to begin with. If you’d done your job by the book, none of this would have happened. So how about you let us all make our own choices without judgment?”
Jared’s body was rigid; his jaw tight. I waited for him to let Ryan have it—to come back with one of his undeniable and logical retorts, but he didn’t. Without a word, he left the room.
“Final y…he’s speechless,” Ryan said, relaxing back against the bed.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” I said.
Ryan frowned. “Why not? Because he’s Jared? He has no problem tel ing everyone else what they’ve done wrong, but he hasn’t made the best choices, either. He insinuated I’m keeping Claire from doing her job when he was in the same situation not too long ago.”
“I know.”
“Then why defend him? Why can’t you just say, ‘Ryan, you’re right. Jared’s wrong.’”
“Because he’s trying his best. Because everything he does, he tries to do what’s right, and what is in everyone’s best interest. He loves me, and you rubbing it in his face after the fact is just cruel.”
“He should keep his opinions to himself,” Ryan said, crossing his arms.
“Trying to hold on to some control in a situation where he has none is not unreasonable. Claire is his baby sister. He’s loved her far longer than you have, and he has firsthand knowledge of how hard it is to be in love with your Taleh. He’s just trying to save her from what we’ve experienced.
You should think about that.”
Ryan raised an eyebrow. “So you regret it?”
“What?”
“You regret fal ing in love with him? Knowing everything?”
“No, and no! Of course not. It’s just hard, that’s all .”
“What isn’t?”
“A normal relationship?”
“Says who?”
“Normal people.”
“What would you know about normal people?”
“I know a few!” I said. Ryan was attempting to subdue a smile. He enjoyed getting under my skin. Poor Claire. She wasn’t the most patient person, anyway, and the most annoying, argumentative, persistent butt nugget—as Bex had once cal ed him—was in love with her.
“What are you smiling about?” he said.
“Oh, nothing. Feel better,” I said, waving to him before opening the door.
“Wait! You’re going to leave me alone?”
“We’re never alone,” I smiled.
Jared stood in the hal way with Claire. She was looking up at him, whispering words of comfort. He seemed to be a bit calmer, listening to her every word.
“He’s all yours,” I smiled to Claire.
“Huh?” Claire said.
I took Jared’s hand. “He knows the exact thing to say to throw you into a rage, and you just let him.”
“It’s different with him. I can’t explain it other than pure, unadulterated hatred.”
“Once upon a time it was me he was after, and now he’s being just as annoying while pursuing your baby sister.”
“Exactly.”
“What if he wasn’t?”
“Wasn’t what?” he said, clueless as to where I was going with the conversation. A rush of exhilaration swept over me. Jared being on the wrong side of enlightenment was quite satisfying.
“In love with Claire. Honey,” I said, standing on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around his neck, “this is a very good thing.”
“For you, maybe,” Claire grumbled.