She drove to her mother’s and parked in the garage. Her mom was working late at the boutique so Finola had the house to herself. She went inside through the kitchen door, then paused to breathe in the familiar scent. Every house, it seemed, had its own smell. This was a combination of years of lemon Pledge and a hint of her mother’s perfume.
Finola couldn’t remember exactly how old she’d been when she and her mom had first moved into the house. After Mary Jo and Bill had married, for sure, so maybe she’d been six or seven. She’d loved the house—having her own bedroom and a big backyard with a swing set left by the previous owners. She was pretty sure her mom had been pregnant at the time. Finola had been excited about having another kid in the house. Being an only child was lonely.
She walked through the kitchen and into the living room. The house was so normal, so ordinary. It had been built for a family, she thought. She’d lived here, grown up here, left for college from here. It wasn’t that she minded her mom selling the house, it was that her mother moving was one more change to deal with.
She looked at the worn sofa and love seat, the matching coffee table and end tables. The style wasn’t hers at all, but it was familiar, comfortable.
Nigel didn’t want to be with her anymore. The truth couldn’t be avoided forever. She could dance around it, scream, run, she could even hide, but she couldn’t change the truth. There would be no baby, no happily-ever-after. Nigel had thrown away their future with his affair and from what she could tell, he’d done it without giving the consequences any thought.
She wanted to say Treasure had bewitched him, that he was under the influence of some sex drug and one day he would resurface. She wanted to believe that with counseling and therapy and maybe some kind of rehab program, her old husband could come back to her. The only problem was deep in her gut, she didn’t think he wanted to. Nigel liked who he was with Treasure and she couldn’t be with someone like that.
She tried not to hear him accusing her of scheduling sex with him. Why was that so awful? Why did that make her a bad person? They were busy. Yes, they loved each other, but after so many years of marriage, the reality was it was difficult to always find the time. So she’d made sure their lovemaking didn’t slip off the radar. Why did that make her a bad wife?
But in Nigel’s eyes, she’d committed an unforgivable crime and when Treasure had come along... She admitted she wasn’t sure if he’d taken revenge, seen no reason to resist, or both.
Her bedroom was at the front of the house, with a big bay window and a walk-in closet. Her old full-size bed, dresser and desk were where they had always been. There were posters on the wall, but hers had never been of movie stars or rock bands. Instead she had pictures of Jane Pauley, Andrea Mitchell, Diane Sawyer and Elizabeth Vargas. All her heroes. While her friends had been glued to E!, she’d watched news reports.
Shelves were crammed with her awards from both high school and college. She’d worked hard to be a good journalist. When she’d landed her first job as a TV reporter in Bakersfield, she’d known she was going places. The offer from the LA station had been even more exciting. Hosting AM SoCal had sent her in another direction but one that challenged her. Everything had been so great and then it had all come crashing down around her.
She walked over to her desk where she’d already set up her laptop. Next to it was the mail she’d collected from the house. She flipped through the handful of bills and ads, and saw a thick envelope. After opening it, she stared at the invitation and groaned.
The charity gala to benefit children with cancer was a big deal. The local station was a corporate sponsor. There was no way not to go and no way to go with Nigel.
She sank onto the chair and covered her face with her hands. What had happened to her hopes and dreams? How had she lost everything without warning? And even though she knew it was over, why did she so desperately want her husband to come back?
* * *
“I can do this,” Zennie murmured to herself. It was two weeks and one day after her artificial insemination procedure. She’d had a big glass of water, had three different pregnancy tests lined up and was simply waiting for the urge to pee.
She felt good. Not pregnant or in any way different, just good. She’d been eating from the approved list of foods, drinking plenty of water and taking her vitamins, although all of it felt more like going through the motions than for any real purpose. She wondered if “real” mothers felt any differently while they were waiting to find out the good news.
She walked around her apartment, trying to think about anything but having to go to the bathroom. After a few minutes of flipping channels, she found herself caught up in a Love It or List It episode on HGTV. Half an hour later, she got up at the commercial and walked into her bathroom. It was only when she saw the sticks carefully laid out on the counter that she realized she’d totally forgotten about the test.
“This is ridiculous,” she murmured with a laugh and prepared to do her thing.
She followed the instructions and when she was done, she put the tests on the paper towel and waited. It didn’t take long for them to change. Each test had a different kind of indicator, but the results were exactly the same. According to the sticks, she was pregnant.
Zennie stood in her small bathroom, not sure what to think. She stared at herself in the mirror, noting she looked wide-eyed and more than a little scared. She was pregnant. Pregnant, as in with child. There was a baby growing inside of her. Holy crap!
She ran and got her phone, then took a picture of the sticks and texted Bernie. She didn’t have to wait very long for her phone to ring.
“I knew you were going to do it today,” her friend said, her voice thick with emotion. “I just knew it. Really? Really?”
“I’m just telling you what the plastic said.”
“Oh, my God!” Bernie shouted. “We’re having a baby!”
Zennie grinned. “So it seems.”
“I’ll be right over.”
“I’ll be here. Do you want me to keep the sticks or can I—”
“Don’t you dare throw those out. I’m keeping them forever.”
“You know I peed on them, right?”
“I know and I’m so happy. Give me fifteen minutes. Maybe twenty.”
Zennie was still smiling when she hung up.
She put the sticks into a small plastic bag then tried to figure out what she should do while she was waiting. Before she could pick something, Bernie was at her door.
Bernie dropped her purse and a grocery bag onto the floor and flung herself at Zennie.
“Thank you,” she said, hugging her so tight she couldn’t breathe. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. I would have loved you forever no matter what, but now I love you more.”
Zennie laughed and hugged her back. “I’m happy, too. I mean that.”
“Yay.” Bernie stepped back. “I brought you a couple of gifts.” She picked up the shopping bag and pulled out a jar of pickles.
Zennie grinned. “Clichéd but appreciated.” There was also a pint of chocolate chip ice cream and two copies of a thick book.
“For us to read together,” Bernie said, handing her one. “Everyone says this is the one to really read. It goes month by month through the pregnancy. I’ll make up a schedule so we’re reading at the same time. It’s going to be great.”
Zennie took the book and flipped through it. As Bernie had said, there were chapters on each month with a drawing showing how big the baby was and lots of questions and answers. The word hemorrhoids caught her eye and she quickly closed the book.
“Thanks. I’ll start reading it today.”
“Me, too. Hayes is super excited. I called him on the way over. We want to take you to dinner. There’s a great new vegetarian place that doesn’t serve alcohol so you won’t feel deprived. Just make sure you eat plenty of protein at lunch so you get in enough for the day. They have great cheese dishes for calcium.” Bernie hugged her again. “This is going to be great.”
“Uh-huh.”
Zennie told herself it would be. That there was no reason to feel overwhelmed or confused or just a little sense of misgiving. Of course Bernie was excited and Zennie really needed to know what was happening to her body. More information was always better than less.
“So dinner tonight?” Bernie asked.
“Absolutely. I’m looking forward to it.”
“No hot date?”
“You know there isn’t. No guy wants to deal with a pregnant woman and I’m in a good place right now.” Zennie laughed. “The best first date I’ve had in months was with a woman, so what does that tell you?”
“That this pregnancy was meant to be. If you’d stayed with Clark, he would have been upset and in your face about what you were doing.”
The comment surprised Zennie. “I don’t think he would have at all. I mean, we were just getting to know each other, but Clark wasn’t like that. He was really supportive.”
“I’m sorry.” Bernie touched her arm. “I didn’t mean anything by that. I’m just saying, now it’s not a problem.”
Zennie actually preferred being alone to being in a relationship, but she wasn’t sure she liked Bernie thinking of her being with someone as an impediment to her having their baby.