“Give me a minute,” he said. “I need to cool down.”
“Why are you so upset? Talk to me.”
He shook his head slightly. “I don’t want a counseling session right now, Miss Fairbanks.”
“Talking to me doesn’t mean we’re having a session, Adam. Besides . . .” she said, her chest suddenly tight and achy. She took a deep breath and forced the words out. “I’m not a counselor anymore.”
His head jerked around, and he stared at her with wide gray eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I got fired this morning.”
“What?” He shifted and took her shoulders in his palms. “What happened? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
She shrugged. “I don’t think I’ve fully digested it yet,” she said. “It was a shock. And I didn’t want my problem to ruin our weekend together.”
“Madison, baby, you can tell me anything. Anything.”
“The way you tell me anything? Or the way you send me outside when you have something to say that you don’t want me to hear?”
His gaze shifted to her forehead, and a muscle in his jaw twitched. “I was pissed. I don’t like you to see me like that.”
“Adam, I need to see you like that. I need to see all of you. I love you.”
“I try so hard not to be that guy anymore, but sometimes . . .” He shook his head. “Tell me what happened with your job.”
There was no use in hiding the details from him. “Someone reported me for having an affair with a client. And my boss, well, she seemed to think I’d form a habit of it.”
“So it’s my fault you got fired.” He scowled, his fingers curling into her shoulders.
She shook her head. “Of course it isn’t. I could say I should have been more careful—not let you get close, kept my legs shut—but I don’t regret sleeping with you, and I don’t regret falling in love with you.”
“But someday you might.”
Madison shook her head. “No chance.”
His arms slid around her back, and he hugged her. “I’m so sorry, baby. Will you be able to find another job? I know how much you love your work and how much all the fuck-ups in the world need you. I know I’m not the only one you’ve saved.”
“I didn’t save you. Just helped you save yourself. And I’m sure everything will work out,” she said, more to soothe his fears than to state her true feelings. She’d probably never be able to get another job working with addicts. But Adam was worth any adversity. It was just a job—a job she’d worked hard to obtain, an important job, a fulfilling job, but still just a job. There were countless other jobs she could try, but he was the man she loved, and there was only one of him. “I love you.”
“I love you,” he said against her hair. “Do you want me to contact your boss? Maybe I can set things right.”
Madison was pretty sure Adam’s idea of setting things right would include a lot of yelling and swearing.
“No, it’ll be fine,” she said. “And I don’t want you to blame yourself for this.”
“How could I? It’s your fault.”
She jerked away and glared up at him in disbelief. He had to take at least a little credit for her ending up without a job.
“Maybe if you weren’t so damned sexy,” he said, “I could have kept my hands to myself.”
He slid those hands over the curve of her ass and crushed their lower bodies together.
“Maybe if you weren’t so damned sweet,” he said, “I could have kept my lips off you.”
He kissed her jaw. Her lips. The tip of her nose.
“Maybe if your heart wasn’t so big, I wouldn’t have been so tempted to win it for myself.”
He cradled the back of her head in one hand and pressed her face to the crook of his neck. She wrapped her arms around his waist and snuggled closer. He felt so good. So solid. So strong against her. She knew everything would be okay. There was a reason they’d met. She was sure it was so they could spend their lives together.
“So it is all your fault, Miss Fairbanks,” he murmured. “It’s your fault I fell in love with you.”
She smiled against his chest. “Well, when you put it that way . . . I’m happy to take the blame.”
Chapter Four
Torn with indecision, Adam fingered the ring in his pocket and stared in through the glass of the shop where Madison had gone to collect her purchases. He didn’t think the time was right to ask her to marry him. Not when she’d just dropped that bombshell on him. Even though she’d played down losing her job as if it wasn’t a big deal, he knew it was a big deal. Once her jobless situation had time to sink in, she was going to be devastated. And he wanted to be the one to hold her and kiss her tears away when she shattered.
Fuck.
When had he started having tender thoughts like those? Sometimes he couldn’t believe the syrupy bullshit that filtered through his mind and came out of his mouth.
This woman had him all sorts of out of his head. And though he’d responded to Phaedra’s words with anger, what she’d said about Madison not liking him for who he was had bothered him. The man Phaedra had once known was all sorts of wrong for the sweet counselor who owned his heart and he knew that, but he was a new man now. A good man.
Oh, who the fuck did he think he was kidding? Maybe only himself. Everyone around him still saw him the way he’d always been, and maybe they were the ones who were right about him. Maybe it was only a matter of time before he embraced his darkness again. And if that happened, he knew he couldn’t stay with Madison. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he couldn’t drag her down into the darkness, into his pit of shit and misery. He wouldn’t be able to stand it if she started to hate him. He’d rather die than earn her hatred.
When Madison stepped out of the store wearing her sexy as sin leather pants, any thoughts of darkness were completely obliterated by her light. Maybe there was a place between his shadows and her radiance where they could exist together in harmony. He had to believe in her, in them. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t care where life took him. All paths led to death eventually, and he’d glimpsed his mortality more than once, so dying didn’t scare him. It never had. But losing her did. He couldn’t lose her. She was his light. His everything.
“So how do you know that woman, anyway?” Madison asked, trying to appear nonchalant, but looking like she was about to explode.