“Then I’m sorry I wasn’t any good.”
“And I’m sorry I’m a fucking liar. It was fantastic, Toni. You, you are fantastic.”
Did he really mean that?
“So are you going to be okay?” he asked. “I feel like a complete asshole. I would have done things differently if I’d known it was your first time.”
The hand stroking her hair was so soothing, so tender, she could almost imagine being his. She wanted that far more than she should. “Yeah, I’m fine. Really. I’m not just saying that. I wanted you to take my virginity.”
His fingertips brushed her neck, and shivers chased goose bumps to the surface of her skin.
“Shouldn’t that be something you save for someone you love?” he asked.
She chuckled. “Maybe a few women still think that way. I’m not one of them.”
“How old are you?” He stroked a spot behind her ear, and her nipples tightened into hard buds. The flesh between her thighs, which had been tender and sore when she’d fallen asleep, was now hot and achy and embarrassingly damp.
“Are you going to ask my weight next?” she asked.
“Huh?”
“Two things you should never ask a woman: her age and her weight.”
“Well, however old you are—”
“Twenty-five,” she supplied.
“A twenty-five year old woman with this face . . .” He placed a hand over her mouth and squeezed her cheeks in the most unromantic fashion imaginable. “And these fantastic tits . . .” He reached for a breast but paused an inch from taking it in his hand. Her belly clenched, wanting him to close the narrow gap between their flesh, wanting his fingers against her breast, her throbbing nipple. “Has no business being a virgin unless she’s purposely saving herself for marriage or something.”
He dropped his hand to the sofa near her arm, and she stifled a moan of frustration. Why wasn’t he touching her more? She wanted him to touch every inch of her. “It just never happened,” she said. But lord how she wanted it to happen again. She wasn’t sure how to convey that to him. Should she just blurt it out? If she did, surely he’d think she was a raving whorebag. “It’s not that big a deal, Logan. I’m sorry you found the experience so traumatic.”
“Me?” He snorted. “You’re the one who should be traumatized. I fuck you—hurt you—then freak out and leave you bleeding on the sofa. That was a very shitty thing to do.”
“I’m fine, Logan.” Touch me. Hold me.
“So you’re really cool with it? You’re not upset or hurt?”
“Why would I be?” I don’t know how to tell you what I really want.
He released a long relieved breath. “So we can be friends?”
She stiffened. That was definitely not what she really wanted. Now she was upset and hurt. She’d heard the “we can be friends” line from a dozen too many men in her past. And none of those men had ever been inside her.
“Yeah, sure,” she said around the knot in her throat. “Friends. What else would we be?”
“You’re a sweetheart. I thought you’d bust my balls over this for sure. I’m glad we talked this out,” he said. “Sam and the guys would have been royally pissed at me if my perpetual horniness messed up this book experience or whatever it is you’re doing.”
“Like I said,” she said, glad it was dark enough that he wouldn’t be able to make out her shell-shocked expression, “no big deal.”
He replaced his lap with a pillow and stood. “I owe you some flowers,” he said. He bent over her and kissed her cheek. Paused. Kissed the tip of her nose. Hesitated. Covered her mouth with his and kissed her with that deep, devouring hunger that had gotten her so quickly out of her panties in the first place. Yes, this. This is what I want. Not flowers and friendship. I want passion. You.
He tore away after a moment, his breathing raspy. “Damn, woman. How am I supposed to keep my dick in my pants if you kiss me like that?”
Before she could respond that she didn’t want him to keep his dick in his pants, he left the room and slid the doors closed. She stared into the darkness, a jumbled mess of hormones and emotions and thoughts guaranteed to keep her awake all night.
Six
Logan hadn’t slept for shit. First he’d lain wide awake in his bunk for hours feeling like the biggest asshole on the planet. After everyone but the driver had fallen asleep, he’d finally found the balls to apologize to Toni for taking advantage of her inexperience. Then after he’d smoothed things over with her, he’d let his attraction to her get in the way of his judgment and he’d kissed her. After that stupid move, he’d lain awake in bed the rest of the night thinking about her. Dick half-hard. Stomach in knots. Mind tangled with thoughts of her. He surprised himself because only about half of those thoughts had been sexual in nature. He found himself wondering about her life. Her family. Her past. Her likes. Her dislikes. Strange. Maybe he’d try to get to know her a little better. They were supposed to be friends now. Friends talked about boring shit like that, didn’t they? Except he didn’t think it would be boring in the least. He actually hoped it was boring. Maybe then he’d be able to think about something besides her gentle brown eyes, sweet smile, soft hair, those enormous tits, and that oh-so-tight pussy that had never been filled with any other cock but his.
Logan groaned and tossed his bunk curtain aside. Locking himself in the bathroom, he shaved and then took a long shower, which was sure to catch him grief. They had only a limited supply of water on the bus, and he’d used more than his share. When he emerged from the bathroom in his towel¸ he felt as human as a sleep-deprived zombie could feel.
A startled inrush of breath came from the open door of the lounge. Those wide brown eyes—now hidden behind a pair of unflattering glasses—took in every exposed inch of his flesh. Sometime during the night, Logan had convinced himself that Toni had given her virginity to him because he’d been available, but there was definitely an attraction there. And it wasn’t one-sided. Logan couldn’t resist tormenting her. He loved to make her blush. He tugged his towel free and used it to dry his hair. He gave her plenty of time to get an eyeful of his naked body, and then he dropped the wet towel to hang around his shoulders.
“Good morning, lamb,” he murmured.
She lifted her eyes to meet his and they widened, as if she just suddenly realized she wasn’t invisible.