“Look,” she said, “I get it. I can’t have children. I managed to accept it before and with some space, a little time and a lot of chocolate, I’ll be able to do it again,” she explained tightly just as she was forced to come to stop when they reached the loading line.
“How many?” a college kid with a big smile asked.
“One,” Marybeth snapped just as Darrin said, “Two.”
Ignoring Marybeth, probably because the kid sensed that Darrin would have beat the shit out of him if he separated Darrin from Marybeth, he gestured for them to go to the last loading line.
“You’ll never be able to accept it,” he pointed out as he got in line behind her.
“I did it before,” she snapped back, clearly getting pissed.
“No, you didn’t,” he said, never more sure of anything in his life.
“And you know this how?”
“Because I know you.”
“Clearly that’s not the case,” she said dryly as they waited for the boat full of passengers to unload so that they could get in.
“Really? Because I bet it is.”
“And I bet that you don’t know what you’re talking about,” she snapped back, keeping her back to him as she tapped her foot impatiently.
“Really? And how much are you willing to bet that I know the real reason behind this bullshit plan or yours and the one that you used to try and push me away.”
“I never tried to push you away!”
“What would you call the last six years, then?” he demanded in a whisper while they watched the boat finally come towards them and lock in place.
“Keeping my options open in case something better came along?”
Knowing that she was just trying to piss him off, he ignored her and decided to keep going. “You’ve never accepted it, because for some fucked up reason you think that not being able to have children somehow makes you less of a woman.”
He’d expected her to glare at him, to argue and deny it, but what he hadn’t expected was for her to suddenly climb out of the boat just as the boat started to enter the ride, leaving him sitting there with no other choice but to suffer through “It’s a Small World.”
Chapter 36
“I think it’s time that we got you tested for drugs, Goose,” Jake said, sounding completely serious, which was understandable given the circumstances.
“Uh huh, I’ll get right on that,” she promised as she skimmed her fingers across the top of the stone enclosure that stopped the baby alligators from attacking her and tearing her apart.
“Have you told Darrin what you’re doing?”
“It’s none of his business,” she said, darting her gaze from the baby alligator determined to climb the wall and make a snack of her hand to the man that she’d been avoiding since yesterday when she’d ditched his ass at the Small World ride.
“He’s your husband,” Jake pointed out.
“I want to get this over with,” she said, feeling her chest tighten as she took in the sight of Darrin sitting on the park bench, watching her with an expression that tore at her.
“Don’t fucking do this, Goose.”
“I don’t want him to be there when they do this, Jake,” she said, forcing herself to look away from Darrin before she did something stupid.
“That’s not true and you know it.”
Sighing, she returned to running her hand absently along the top of the stone wall as she walked away, needing to put a little space between her and Darrin’s knowing gaze. “Are you going to help me or what, Jake?”
There was a slight pause before Jake said, “I’m your brother and I love you, Goose, but I’m not going to help you do this. Whatever it is that you’re running from, Goose, stop before it’s too late. Tell Darrin that they moved your surgery date up and let him come home with you.”
“I’m not running away from anything,” she bit out as she roughly wiped at her eyes when they began to tear up.
“Yes, you are,” the all-too familiar voice that always managed to make her feel safe and loved said as her phone was gently taken away from her.
“Go away, Darrin,” she said weakly, fighting the urge to turn around and wrap her arms around him.
“Not until you answer my question,” he said as he reached around her and handed her the phone.
“Which is?”
“Do you love me enough to stop pushing me away?”
“I’m not-” she began to argue the same bullshit that she’d been feeding him for years, but he apparently had enough.
“Stop playing this fucking game with me, Marybeth.”
She shook her head, refusing to say another word.
“Then I’m done, Marybeth. I am so fucking done it’s not even funny. I love you too much to stand around any longer while you play the martyr. You let the simple fact that you can’t have children dictate our lives. You can’t have children. Get the fuck over it, because I have. Children are a blessing, not a guarantee and as much as I would have loved to have them, I’ve always wanted you more, but you’re so fucking blinded by your own self-pity that you refuse to see that. I’m done playing these hot and cold games with you. I’m done begging you to stay in my life, Marybeth. I’m just fucking done.”
*-*-*-*
He’d wasted six years waiting for her.
Six. Fucking. Years!
No matter what he said or what he did, she was never going to let this bullshit go and he was tired of trying to convince her to stay with him. He shouldn’t have to beg a woman to be with him and the fact that he had to do it with the woman that he loved made him feel like pure shit.
“Don’t walk away from me!” Marybeth yelled, chasing after him as he stormed out of the reptile farm and headed towards the line of taxis that would take him away from her and the bullshit that she put him through. “We’re going to finish this once and for all!”
“We’re done!” he snapped, not even bothering to look back when he said it, which he paid for seconds later when the little brat slammed into him, taking him down to the ground, hard.
“No, we’re not,” she snapped, trying to get him in a headlock, but unfortunately for her, she grew up with only one brother, a brother that was absolutely terrified of what Darrin would do to him if he ever laid a fucking finger on her so she had absolutely no idea what she was doing. He easily escaped her hold, rolled onto her back, grabbed her by her hips and moved to set her aside when she did the unthinkable.