The bottom fell out of her world.
Francine said, “I haven’t told another soul. Trust me, I won’t. I hope it’s a misunderstanding and I saw the situation out of context.”
“I hope so too, Francine.”
“If you need anything, anything,” she stressed, “please call me.”
“I will. And thank you for your honesty and your discretion. I’ll get to the bottom of it right away.”
“Blessings to you dear, you’re in my prayers.”
As soon as Carolyn hung up, the sick feeling that’d taken root grew ugly, thorny stems and began to spread. She folded her arms on the kitchen table and laid down her head, squeezing her eyes shut against a flood of tears.
Had her attention to the boys, and her sister, and her other responsibilities driven him into another woman’s arms?
She scrolled back the past week or so, trying to remember if Carson had acted weird. Or guilty.
He’d been freshly showered when he came to bed last night.
To wash off the scent of another woman’s perfume?
She’d chalked up his distance to him being tired and stressed about money.
You’re making excuses for him.
No. But she hadn’t been much of a wife to him lately either.
And how is that? You cook for him, you wash his clothes, clean his house and raise his children.
What about sexually? She hadn’t seen to his needs—or he to hers in the past month.
Because he’s getting what he needs from someone else.
A sort of red rage began to build in her, supplanting the feeling of desolation.
How dare he. She would not be cast aside. She was more to him than a cook, maid and babysitter. How long had it been since he’d acted like she mattered? When had she accepted that an occasional glimpse of the loving man she’d married was better than none?
She couldn’t even remember the last time they’d had a conversation that didn’t involve ranch work or kids. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d done something sweet or thoughtful for her.
But you’ve done plenty of sweet and thoughtful things for him.
A little finger poked her in the side. She lifted her head and looked into Cord’s enormous blue eyes. Serious eyes. Eyes like his father’s. Love for this child swamped her and she hugged him tightly. He reached up, wreathing his arms around her neck and she rubbed her cheek against the baby-smooth softness of his skin.
“Me too!” Colby shouted and tried to worm his way between them.
Cord whispered, “Mama, why you sad?”
She leaned back. “How could I ever be sad when I have such wonderful boys to make me smile?”
Colby scooted under her arm and rested his head above her breast with a sigh.
“I have an idea. How would you guys like to spend the night with Aunt Kimi and Uncle Cal? Then tomorrow after I pick you up we’ll get ice cream.”
That brought a sweet smile to Cord’s face. “With marshmallows?”
“And a cherry on top.” She kissed Colby’s dark head. “Let’s get jammies and your toothbrushes.”
“And Bully,” Colby said.
Her son loved the stuffed bull Carson had won for him at the fair last year. “Wouldn’t dream of leaving Bully behind.”
The boys tore off and Carolyn dialed her sister’s number. Before Kimi even said hello, Carolyn said, “I need you to watch the boys tonight. That’s all I can say right now.”
But it wasn’t Kimi on the line. Cal said, “No problem.” A pause. “Is this about Carson?”
“Yes.”
“Ah hell, Caro. Do you know what you’re doin’?”
Did Cal know about Carson’s recent activities at the Silver Spur? Did Kimi know that Carson might be stepping out on her? How long had it been going on? Was she the last to know and the laughingstock of the town? Sweet, obedient Carolyn McKay sitting at home popping out kids while Carson McKay ran wild and made her look like a fool? “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I don’t know what’s goin’ on with him either, so don’t assume nothin’, okay? Carson has been a real jackass to me the last two months. If we ain’t directly workin’ with each other, then I avoid him ’cause I don’t like the way he’s been actin’. I’m glad you’re callin’ him on his shit.”
This was why she loved Cal. He was loyal to his brother, while not willing to kiss his ass or overlook his faults. “Thanks. I’ll drop the boys off in ten minutes.”
After she returned home it took forty-five minutes to get ready. But she wasn’t certain if dolling herself up would even matter. One last swipe with the eyeliner and another coat of siren red lipstick and she studied her reflection. Not a trace of frumpy housewife stared back at her. In fact, she looked so different in these clothes and heavy makeup she wondered if Carson would recognize her. She wondered why she didn’t put more effort into looking like this all the time.
Turning sideways she only noticed a slight swell in her abdomen. When pregnant with Cord and Colby she hadn’t started showing until five months.
Too bad she couldn’t knock back a shot of whiskey to calm her nerves. She slipped off her wedding rings and headed to the car.
The Silver Spur had a decent amount of cars in the parking lot for a Thursday night. Carson’s rig was parked up front. As if he’d been there a while.
Her heart raced as she sauntered in, but she held her head high. The normal buzz of anticipation filled the smoky air as the band tuned up. She hadn’t been in here in ages and scored a spot at the end of the bar, within view of the back room. Standing on tiptoe, she saw a hatted head in the last booth, but with the amount of cowboy hats in Wyoming it could be anyone.
The bartender stopped in front of her. “What can I get you tonight, beautiful?”
“How about a whiskey Coke—hold the whiskey.”
He grinned. “Comin’ right up.”
Carolyn didn’t study the people to see if she’d recognize anyone. She leaned an elbow on the bar and checked out the space, as if it was the first time she’d been in.
“Here’s your drink, darlin’.”
She tried to pay him but he waved her money off. “You’re doin’ me a favor by classing this place up.”
Two minutes later the first guy approached her. “You new to town?” he asked. “Because I haven’t seen you in here before.”
“You sure?”