The mood at home was subdued, although it hadn’t affected their appetites. His nerves were shot. He sat on the couch and Keely immediately crawled into his lap, snuggling into him. Then Carter did the same thing on the opposite side. Then all the boys were piled on the couch next to each other or on the floor in front of it. No bickering or shoving, and he finally relaxed.
Carolyn arrived home earlier on day five than Carson expected.
He caught her in his arms as she alighted from the truck, holding onto her tightly—then he kissed her with the passion he usually saved for behind closed doors. When he finally released her mouth, she sighed. “You really did miss me.”
“Like you wouldn’t believe.” He heard the screen door open and knew the time of reckoning had come. His gut tightened, as did his throat. And he was man enough to admit even his balls shrunk a little, as he ran through everything he had to tell her.
“Mom’s home!” Cam said with glee.
And still he didn’t move.
“Carson? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”
“You’ll see. And uh, don’t judge me too harshly, okay?”
Carolyn ripped herself away from him. She froze after she’d only taken two steps.
All six kids were in a line, like before. Carson tried to see it from her eyes. Cord, the only one without obvious injury, unless she looked close enough to see the chafing on his right hand from continual jacking off, held Keely, who was sporting a goose egg on her forehead. Next was Colby, his hand in a cast. Next was Colt, a bandage wrapped around his calf. Then Cam, with a vicious black eye. And finally Carter, with a cast on his left arm.
Silence.
Then Carolyn slowly faced him.
And Carson blurted out, “I swear I can explain.”
“Mr. McKay?”
Carson blinked at the nurse. “Yes.”
“It’s time if you want to go in.”
“Thank you.”
Yeah, that wouldn’t be a memory he’d bring up with his wife.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Hospital, Day 4—afternoon
“I’m headed down to the cafeteria,” Carson told Tori, the day charge nurse.
“The special today is Salisbury steak. And it is good.”
“Thanks. I’ll give it a try.” He rode the elevator down to the first floor. The doors opened and he was surprised to see his sister-in-law—or was she his ex-sister-in-law?—Joan McKay standing there.
She said, “Just the man I wanted to see. But it looks like you’re leaving?”
“Only to grab lunch in the cafeteria. You’re welcome to tag along if you’d like.”
“Sure, if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. It’s this way.”
Joan got into the beverages only line. Carson loaded up his plate knowing he wouldn’t eat again today. He chose a spot in the corner away from everyone since he’d become a real germaphobe.
“You look surprised to see me,” Joan said.
“I’m surprised to see anyone, if you wanna know the truth. The kids aren’t taking the ‘no visitation’ rule too well.”
“I don’t imagine they are. I knew I’d better stop in before I see my grandkids. Georgia mentioned Jackson and Carly had the sniffles. Which means Tucker, Wyatt and Bethany probably do too. Brandt and Tell said to let you know you and Carolyn are in their thoughts.”
“Tell ’em I said thanks.”
Joan leaned forward. “I’m sorry this happened to Carolyn. I’ve always admired her. Although she didn’t like Casper, she treated me well. She still treats me like part of the family, even after…”
“You and Casper got divorced? Or after Casper died?”
“Both.” She sipped her coffee. “But I was thinking more of when she birthed kid after kid and I struggled to get pregnant and stay that way. Then when it finally happened, she welcomed my boys. I know we didn’t get included in a lot of McKay stuff in those early years, but I never resented her for it.”
“Why not?”
“Because she was protecting you. She didn’t want you to have to deal with Casper in your own home. He went out of his way to make you feel like shit during the work day and she wouldn’t put up with that in a place that’s supposed to be your refuge.”
“She’s put up with a lot over the years.”
“She took it all in stride and she lived those Christian tenets so many—including my ex-husband—paid lip service to. She and Kimi and Vi were completely supportive after Luke died and all the rest of the crap that happened afterward. Very few people know how instrumental she was getting me settled when I left Casper.” She smiled sadly. “Carolyn just wanted to get me the hell away from him.”
Carson had to tread lightly. Joan didn’t only have rotten memories of her time with Casper, but what he’d learned of the man had tainted everything. He couldn’t fake letting bygones be bygones.
“I don’t know if I ever really thanked you for what you did for Brandt, Tell and Dalton as far as the ranch. I mean, I know you didn’t retire because you wanted to.”
“Oh, you’d be surprised how eager we were to pass the reins over,” he said dryly.
Joan smiled again. “It went above and beyond. It changed everyone’s life.”
“Ours too, but I’m happy to hear that.” He picked at the meat soaked in gravy. The food was okay, but it wasn’t as good as Carolyn’s. “Dalton stopped by. Sounds like him’n Rory had a good time on their honeymoon.”
“They’re leaving for Montana tomorrow. It’s a good fit for them up there. Especially after all that happened.”
His gaze moved to hers.
Anguish distorted her face. “You know, don’t you?”
“About Casper secretly beatin’ the f**k outta Dalton? Yeah. Charlie told me and Cal.”
“Does Carolyn know?”
Carson shook his head. “Charlie debated on even tellin’ us. I didn’t talk to my kids about it. Neither did Cal. We figure if Dalton wants people to know, it’s his business to tell them, not ours or anyone else’s.”
Relief swam in her eyes. But it was there and gone. “I didn’t know it was going on. And I’m sure you’re thinking, how could she not know what was happening with her own children? Living in the same house…”
“You don’t gotta explain or defend yourself to me, Joan.”
“Why not?”