“That’s not all of it, Amery. Probably not the worst of it.”
Why was she surprised Shiori had picked up on what wasn’t said? “Naomi told him she’d heard at the club that I refused to be his rope model in public. She asked him how he let a student dictate lessons to the teacher, which when phrased that way . . .” She swallowed a mouthful of courage. “It puts him in a bad light. But the thing is, since we reconciled, we haven’t discussed whether he’ll continue with demos. Or whether I’d be okay if he used someone else.”
Shiori cocked her head. “Being his rope model in public was a hard limit for you?” When Amery blinked with confusion, Shiori clarified. “Something you will not do under any circumstances, which means you’ll safe-word out.”
“We don’t use safe words. If I get panicked by a binding, I tell him and we talk through it. We don’t um . . . practice any aspects of BDSM.”
“Besides the tying-up-with-ropes and having-sex-tied-up aspects,” Shiori said dryly.
“We don’t practice any other aspects of BDSM besides bondage,” Amery clarified. “He told me this morning that he’d gone to the club during our break.”
“I’m not surprised, but at least he told you. He could’ve lied and you wouldn’t have ever known.”
“I realize that.”
“Were you pissed off, or hurt or what?”
“All of the above. But I don’t have a right to any of it. We weren’t seeing each other at the time, and he told me he didn’t f**k her.”
“And you believe him?”
Amery looked up. “Yes. Public sex after the binding became an issue between him and Naomi. I don’t have to tell you that your brother is a very private man. Sex isn’t sacred, but it is the ultimate intimacy. He and I are in agreement on that. But I have the same sense of privacy when it comes to baring all. Not to him. But to people I don’t know? That terrifies me.”
Shiori reached for her hand and squeezed. “Understandable. Maybe the reason it doesn’t seem like a big deal to him is—”
“Because he’s not the one who’s naked!”
“There is that. But Ronin has been around people in the lifestyle long enough to know they’re not judging you. I’m sure he feels that should allay your fears.” She smiled. “And as a man, he wants to show you off. He wants to demonstrate how in synch the model can be with the rope master. How beautiful you are bound in his rope designs. He wants every person in attendance to feel the sexual heat between you two, because that, more than anything, will prove to everyone that kinbaku is a sensual art.”
“It makes sense . . . Until I imagine myself wrapped wrist to ankle and exposed to the point they could see up into my tonsils.”
“There’s a visual. Look, you have to set limits. Ronin won’t know where to start unless you tell him what you won’t do. It’s give and take. I can’t imagine he wouldn’t let you wear a thong if he was focusing on chest harness techniques. It’d be different if he was teaching a class of basic rope knots rather than giving a demonstration of a full binding.”
She hadn’t considered that. Heck, she hadn’t thought beyond no, and yet she remembered her irrational jealousy when Ronin had bound that woman at the club. That brought her full circle. “The other reason Ronin was so angry yesterday? Naomi offered herself as his model if I wasn’t up to the task. I think that made him wonder if I’m right for him.” Amery finished her drink. “When it’s just us . . . it’s beautiful and sensual, and I don’t know why my willingness to hand him the ropes behind closed doors isn’t enough for him. But I’d never give him an ultimatum because I’d definitely lose him.”
Shiori thoughtfully tapped her fingers on the back of the seat.
“What?”
“Wearing a mask wouldn’t solve anything either. And I would imagine, like most men, he prefers to look at your face while you’re in the scene.”
“Unless he’s directly in my face, I doubt that’s where either one of his heads is focused.”
“True. It’s just too bad you can’t wear a wig and a mask. You’d be amazed by how many people you’d fool and how freeing anonymity can be.”
“Speaking from personal experience, Shi?”
“Yes. But to get the real scoop on that secret?” She rattled her empty glass. “I’ll need several more of these.”
“Fill ’er up. It’s not like we’re driving.”
• • •
AND that’s how they ended up club hopping—after zipping through the McDonald’s drive-through for burgers and fries to soak up some of the alcohol.
Amery wished she’d invited Chaz along since he knew all the hottest clubs. Once Shiori let her hair down, she really let it down. With her exotic looks, men flocked to her. She took it all in stride, not acting like a billionaire heiress, a badass ninja, or the VP of a global corporation.
They danced and laughed and drank. Amery tried to pick a guy for Shiori, but every guy had a flaw that precluded Shiori from approaching him.
“What about him?” Amery asked. “Brown shirt.”
“The one who looks like Curly from The Three Stooges? Pass.”
“How about his friend? The tall blond?”
“Possibly. He looks European. Had enough of those types. I hate competing for the mirror the morning after a hookup.” She shuddered. “I actually had one guy get out of bed after we finished banging the headboard, so he could complete his nightly skin-care regimen before he fell asleep.”
“Bullshit.”
Shiori held up her hand. “True story. As soon as he slipped on the cooling eye mask? I was gone.”
“I definitely have to introduce you to Chaz. You two can try to one-up each other on bizarre hookup stories.” Amery’s phone buzzed on the table again.
“Is that my brother?”
“Yes.”
“How many times has he called tonight?”
“A few.” She squinted at the recent calls list. “Wow. He’s called eight times before the last two times.”
“Why didn’t you answer it?”
“Been having fun with you. If I tell him I’m hanging with you, he’d try to horn in.”
Shiori leaned closer. “You’re really having fun with me?”