Ronin said nothing.
“You need anything, holler. I’ll bring it up.” Then he walked away without saying another word.
• • •
AMERY forced Ronin to rest for the remainder of the weekend. They sat by the pool, stretched out in the shade of the garden, and napped. One moment they’d be holding hands, enjoying the easy silence, the next Amery would feel the tension rolling off him. She figured out his tension came when he’d overexerted himself and was in pain. Or if she wasn’t right by his side.
“What was that sigh for?”
“Did I sigh?”
“For the third time. Are you already bored?”
“No. Why? Are you?”
“I’m never bored with you.”
She set her laptop on the coffee table. “What show are you watching?”
“Hell if I know. I’ve been watching you.”
Amery rolled her eyes. “How’s your head?”
“Sore. Before you ask, it’s no longer a constant pain. It comes and goes.”
She grabbed a pillow and draped it across her lap. “Maybe lying flat will help.”
Ronin nestled the back of his head against her stomach and stretched out. “That is better.”
Amery ran her hands through his hair from scalp to the ends, over and over, just because she could. She’d take this rare intimate indulgence while he allowed it.
“God. That feels so good.”
She remembered that the last time he said that he’d been buried inside her. His breath in her ear. His body sliding against hers, all heat and hardness and urgency.
“You tensed up. What’s wrong?”
“Just thinking about work,” she lied.
“I haven’t asked about that. How’s it going?”
“Pretty much the same. No major client losses, but I haven’t been hired by anyone either. I pounded the pavement the past two months, but all that’s yielded me is sore feet.”
“And Molly?”
“She’s still working for me part-time and going to school. Emmylou has been traveling with the Colorado Rockies, so she hasn’t been around. Chaz is Chaz. He does his own thing.”
“That was short and sweet.”
“Not a whole lot has changed.” Amery twisted small sections of his hair, amusing herself by how fast the curl reverted to straight. “We never really did this, did we?”
“What? Lounge around?”
“Yes. I mean we did lounge by the pool, but we ended up f**king on a chaise or in the water.”
Ronin shifted to face her. “Not every time.”
“Most every time. Once we started having sex, that was pretty much all we did.” Amery put her fingers over his lips. “Not that I’m complaining.”
“But?”
“No buts. Although I am sorry that you’re hurting, I’m content to spend time with you like this. Without the pressure of sex.”
“Just because I haven’t pinned you down and f**ked you like we both want doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it.”
“I know.” She continued to stroke his hair. “Even if you were one hundred percent healthy, I still wouldn’t be all in for sexcapades.”
Ronin looked at her quizzically. “Why not?”
“Because I’m not ready to resume a sexual relationship with you. We need to reestablish intimacy first.”
“The sexual pull between us hasn’t diminished at all since we’ve been apart, and fulfilling those needs is the ultimate intimacy, Amery.”
“It is in part. Intimacy means sharing. Bodies, minds, thoughts. Parts of the past. Fears for the future.”
He stared at her. “My biggest fear is you don’t believe we have a future.”
She said nothing.
“Your silence is not reassuring.”
“I know.”
“So maybe I need to reassure you first. I swore when I got the chance with you again I wouldn’t hold back. On anything. Thoughts. Feelings. Actions. Words.”
Her heart raced.
“Maybe I need to start with the words and tell you that I lo—”
Amery put her hand over his mouth so fast his teeth connected with her skin. “Don’t.”
Ronin didn’t bother to hide his frustration.
“The only reassurances I need right now are that you’re taking your meds and giving your body time to heal.”
He pushed himself upright. “I am healing. But fair warning, baby. Just as you wouldn’t let me use my health issues as an excuse not to talk, I won’t let you use my health issues as an excuse not to rekindle our physical relationship. Because we both know we would’ve ended up f**king each other like crazy the first damn night after we talked things through, if not for my—”
“Visit to the hospital because of your fight injuries?” she supplied. “That’s a crap reason because we wouldn’t be here if not for that.”
“Wrong. I wouldn’t have let this break between us go on much longer.”
“Let?” she repeated.
Ronin caged her against the back of the couch. “Yes, let. This is not a temporary thing between us. Never has been, never will be. So I’ll let you try to push me away. I’ll let you try to convince yourself that you’re holding back from f**king me blind because I don’t understand intimacy. But we both know differently. And I’ll do everything in my power to prove you wrong.” He dipped his head and ran his lips along the edge of her jaw and down her throat until she shivered. “I want you. I need you. And in the end, baby, I am going to have you. All of you.”
Her will to resist went as mushy as her heart. Damn him.
He stood and grabbed his crutch. “Now, are you coming to bed, or what?”
CHAPTER FOUR
THE next two days passed in a blur of boredom.
Early the third morning, Ronin woke up annoyed that Amery had turned away from him during the night again. He spent an hour in the practice room working on katas. He blanked his mind to everything except maintaining the proper breathing and stance as he moved through the forms. For the first time in a week, he completed his usual routine without any breaks.
He climbed out of the shower, and the cold air chilled him to the bone. But Amery’s heated look when she handed him a towel set his blood on fire. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. The scrapes on your arms and knuckles are healing.”
He wanted—needed—more than just her eyes on him. He craved her touch. “Can you check the ones on my back?”