“It’s perfect,” I say, looping my arm through his.
He smiles down at me, his uncertainty replaced immediately by his usual wicked smile. The shadows are still there, hidden in the depths of his eyes, but if he wishes to ignore them for the afternoon then I will too.
He leads me along a path through the trees, down toward the pond—which everyone around here calls the “lake”—and away from the crowds on the main green. The air is chilly, but in that lovely mid-autumn kind of way—though I’m glad to have worn a scarf and thick tights with my dress. I lean against his warmth, and he slides his arm around my waist.
It’s strange.
Strange to be a normal couple walking through a normal park. I mean, this is the guy who once had sex with me up against the wall of a dungeon. Well—cellar, if we’re getting technical about it. My time on his estate was intensely erotic, and this feels so ordinary by comparison.
I glance up at him. The afternoon sun makes his skin glow and brings out the bluish undertones in his dark hair. There’s a muscle working in his jaw, but when he senses me staring, he looks down and smiles.
“How was your week?” he asks. “Discover any burgeoning Van Goghs in one of your classes?”
I remember the subtle shift in his mood the last couple of times I talked about the Center. I know he’s only trying to be polite.
“I don’t want to talk about work,” I tell him. I want to pull him away from the dark places in his mind. I want to remind him of the wild, passionate couple we were, back on his estate.
I stop on the path and look out across the lake.
“See that dock?” I say, pointing to the small, wooden structure protruding into the water from the far shore. “I’ll race you to it. Loser has to make the other one dinner.”
His eyes darken at the challenge. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Afraid I’ll win?” I tease. “Because you should be.”
Before he has voice reminds me.
“Cheater!” he calls after me, but it’s not long before I hear his footsteps in pursuit.
Adrenaline pumps through my veins as I race through the trees. There are only a handful of people in this section of the park, and they glance up at me in confusion as I run by. Calder is right on my heels. His footsteps grow louder, closer, and then he’s near enough that I can hear his ragged breathing.
Once, he’s close enough to reach out and grab the back of my dress. I stumble and almost fall, and by the time I recover he’s pulled ahead.
“Who’s the cheater now?” I yell after him.
A passing jogger looks at me sharply, but I curse under my breath and start running again.
Calder has a good lead on me now, but I’m not about to let him win, not this time. Up ahead, a small creek enters the lake, and our path curves away from the lakeshore to a small bridge slightly upstream. Calder follows the path, but I head straight for the creek. I run through the brush, leap over the water, and manage to regain the path some paces ahead of Calder.
We’re close. I can see the end of the dock through the trees ahead. Calder is just behind me, and though I hear him reach for me, I manage to twist out of his reach before he’s able to pull the same trick on me twice.
But I underestimate him. Just as we break through the trees and hit the shore, he lunges, catching me around the waist. We both land on the sand, twisting and tumbling over each other.
I’m so close. Calder tries to hold me down, but I manage to free my arm. I reach out, grappling for the dock, and I’m rewarded when my fingers hit nearest wooden post.
“I win!” I gasp as I cease struggling.
Calder seizes the opportunity to pin me to the sand beneath him.
“You owe me dinner,” I say, gazing up at him.
“Is that so?” He’s breathing heavily and his hair is a mess—like we’ve been taking part in a very different sort of physical exertion.
“You lost.” I enjoy those words more than I should. “Even though you tried to cheat.”">Neither of us says ait10
“I’m the cheater? You’re the one who had a massive head start.”
I laugh. “And we never said tackling was allowed, either.”
He gives a self-satisfied smile. “I don’t believe for a minute that you didn’t enjoy that part.”
He’s right, of course. I reach up and pull his face down to mine. Warmth sweeps through me as our lips meet, and I revel in the feeling of his weight on top of me.
I raise my hips slightly, and he groans against my mouth before pulling away.
“We should stop before this gets out of hand,” he says.
As much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. We’re right out in the open.
“Maybe we should sneak off into the trees somewhere,” I say. The thought of letting Calder make love to me in some secluded corner of the park sends a rush of blood between my legs.
“No,” he says, shaking his head and sitting up. “We decided we’d wait to have sex.”
Oh.
“If I recall correctly,” I say, “you decided we’d wait to have sex. I’m perfectly fine with the idea.” I reach up and run a hand sensually down his chest. I feel his muscles contract even through his sweater.
But he clasps my hand and pulls it away.
“Trust me, Lily. It’s better this way.” He reaches down and brushes a bit of sand from my cheek. “I just don’t want us to rush into anything before we’re ready.”
Before we’re ready. I’m ready. But that doesn’t mean he is.
That realization hits me like a punch to the gut. Calder’s not ready for this. For us. I don’t know what to say, what to think. After everything we’ve been through together, I thought we were both “all in” emotionally.Zin to make
He’s watching me closely. I don’t know what he sees in my face, but he leans down and kisses me delicately on the forehead, then once on either eyelid.
“How about that dinner?” he says softly.
I nod, and he helps me up. As soon as we’re standing, he grabs me and pulls me against him, burying his face in my hair.
“Thank you,” he murmurs. “Thank you for being patient.”
“Of course,” I whisper, reaching up and holding him.
His grip tightens. “Lily…”
The emotion in his voice startles me. Something is seriously wrong. He suddenly seems so lost, so vulnerable, and I tighten my arms around him.