“Well, I'm going to head out.” Aj interrupts my thoughts. Good timing. She holds her arms open and I fall into them, while trying to hold my breath. I mean, it's not like I'd actually bite her. That would never, ever happen. Blood is gross. It may smell good, but it's gross.
“Don't do anything stupid,” she hisses in my ear. “I can see you're in love with him.” She can see that?
I guess it was kind of obvious.
“I know. But it's not what you think.”
“I just want to make sure you know what you're doing. Because I don't think you do.” I finally pull away from the hug.
“I know. I'm not a child anymore.”
“No,” she says, plucking at my hair, “you're not. But that doesn't mean you should take up with, ah, boys like that.”
“I know what I'm doing,” I say again. She gives me a sad smile and punches my shoulder again.
Dad slinks out to say goodbye. True to form, he gives her an awkward hug and tells her to take care of herself. She says she'll be back to stay the weekend in two weeks. This is news to me, but I'm relieved. I like having Aj around. Even though I'd freaked out when she'd showed up, having her around broke up some of the tension. And she made me laugh.
“Bye Jenny,” Mom says, giving her a rib crushing hug. Or what would be rib-crushing if she had the strength.
“Call me,” she says to Mom, taking her face in her hands. “Anytime. My phone is always on.”
“I will.” But we all know she won't. Mom wouldn't bother Aj. She'd never bother anyone, if she could help it. And by bothering, she meant anything she'd see as being needy. Which was total crap.
If Aj really knew what was going on in this house, she'd move in this second. That wasn't a half-bad idea. She could keep Dad in check and help with Mom. Not that she was a burden, but with everything that was going on, I knew I was neglecting her. For my boyfriend. Yes, he was immortal, and yes, we were fighting for something, but still. She's my mother. She should come first.
I watch as the tailights of Aj's car fade. Part of me wants to run and call for her to come back. To help us so we can try and keep this family together. Because I'm doing a crappy job of it.
“I'm going to bed,” I say, turning from the window.
“It's only eight thirty. What, are you sick?” Thanks, Dad. Mom gives me a knowing look.
“No, just tired.” I must look tired because he doesn't snap back at me. Instead he touches my shoulder in a surprising gesture. Mom seizes the moment and wraps us all up in a Sullivan family hug. I sink into it and remember the days when things like family hugs happened every day. Of course that was before cancer decided to take everything away from me and an immortal boy walked into my life. I can't go back. I can only go forward.
“Goodnight, baby. Sleep tight.” Won't be doing a lot of sleeping, but I kiss her cheek anyway.
“Goodnight, Ava-Claire Bear.” Dear god, Dad hasn't called me that since I was ten. It makes my heart hurt to hear the nickname. I nearly crawl up the stairs, but the closer I get to my room, the better I feel until I open my door and there's Peter and he's all gorgeous and waiting for me and I want to kiss him. The calm settles over me, and I'm ready for anything. Even though we now have to worry about Ivan and Di. It's time to go see this friend of Peter's. Whether he likes it or not.
I shut my door with authority, taking note that he's already got his shirt off, wings out. He must have read my mind.
“When are we leaving?”
Peter
Her eyes are bright with anticipation. I felt her resolve all through the dinner, and I know that I cannot talk her out of it. We need answers and it is time to get them.
“Are you sure?” I know what she will say before she says it.
“I'm not taking no for an answer.” She smiles and I want to press those smiling lips to my own, let her smile dissolve on my lips and become part of my skin. As if I could swallow it and hold it inside me.
She holds her arms out, begging for me to pick her up.
“Beam me up, Scotty.”
“What do you mean?” There are many modern phrases Ava uses that I do not know the meaning of. This is one of them.
“Never mind. We need to get you watching Star Trek. And Star Wars. But not at the same time.” I still have no inclination as to what she is speaking of. So I pick her up and she smiles up at me as if she's the happiest girl in the world.
She brushes some hair from my eyes.
“Happy?” She's asking me. I consider for a moment. I turn the word around in my mind. It is bright and shiny and soft. It glows. I am not sure I am capable of feeling happy in myself without her. The happiness she exudes swells and floats in her soul, elevating it. A soul was required for happiness. But I was as close to happy as I could ever get. With her.
“Yes.” I allow myself that.
“Good.”
Her arms twine tighter and she puts her head to my chest. Right where my heart would be. Well, my heart is still there, I suppose. It just does not beat. Not like hers, which goes like a delicious drum.
“You should put a blanket around you. It will be cold.” I set her down, going to her closet for a blanket. She puts on a coat and another pair of pants. I wrap her torso and legs in the blanket.
“Too tight,” she gasps. I unwind it and re-wrap it.
“Better?”
“Yeah, I can breathe now.” She rolls her eyes and I pick her up again. She is like a little fire burning next to my skin. A torch I'm carrying to illuminate the dark.
She lets out a little gasp as I leap off the roof and into the air. Her little thrill flows along our connection and I soak it into my skin with her heat. Her energy is like a drug.
“How far is it?” The wind tries to steal her voice, but I would hear it in a hurricane.
“Over an hour.”
She settles back into me, her hands twisting in the hair that comes from my neck. Her little warm fingers are so familiar with my hair. I wash it nearly every day for her. I like the smell of her soap on my skin.
I had not seen Cal's house, but I knew I could find it now by following his scent. It surprised me that he would choose to settle down in a human-made buildings. He had never had a permanent dwelling when I knew him. He moved about. Nomadic like me.
I was certain of two things about Cal. One, that he always wore human clothes. Suits, ties, shoes. Always pressed, always clean. Second, that he had saved me. Twice.
Cal was a part of my other life. My life before Ava. The life where I killed without thinking, where I existed from one day to the next with no reason to keep going other than my immortality.