Dawn didn’t fight him as he settled her onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her body, holding her tight against him so she couldn’t move.
“We’re going to talk about this, and you’re not going to argue with me.” He infused his alpha voice as he spoke. She stopped struggling. The hairs on her arms stood on end letting him know he was winning their little dispute. He rested a hand on her stomach while the other he placed on her thigh. “Something happened during your transition. Most young wolves have a family or a pack that cares about them. They’re nursed during their transition into their first turning. During that time the body goes through a lot of stuff. In rare cases, wires get crossed, and something bad happens.” He was using all of his own knowledge to tell her this. The only reason he needed the doctor was for him to assess if there was anything they could do to stop the wires from being crossed. “These bad things turn an ordinary wolf into someone who can’t process pain. When people find out about their lack of pain threshold it makes them vulnerable to predators.” He licked his lips. “For you, you’re a natural submissive, so you’re open to men or women who’d want a toy to play with. They’re sadists of the worst kind, Dawn.”
He looked to her side and saw the tears glistening in her eyes. How much had she endured in the last few years before she met him? No one had looked deep enough to see the need she was suffering.
“Have you dealt with this?”
She gasped and turned her head away.
“Baby, I can’t help you until you tell me the truth.”
“How do you know I’m like this?” she asked, looking at him. “I didn’t react to the liquid or to your bites, but why does it have to mean anything?”
“Because you’re broken a little. Your wolf is scared to trust you.” He rubbed circles against her stomach soothing her. “The only reason for your wolf to be scared is because you’ve put her in a situation that scares her. She doesn’t trust your judgment, which makes her nervous. It’s why you can’t sense the truth of me being your mate.” He kissed the side of her neck. “It’s time for you to realize you can trust me.” He pressed another kiss to her neck. “I’m here to stay, and no matter what you say, I’m always going to be here. I love you, and you’re not getting rid of me.” He held her tight against him, showing her the love and care he felt through touch.
“You’re going to leave,” she said.
“I’m not going to go anywhere. It’s time for you to share these problems.”
She didn’t talk about her mother or any part of her past. How far back did this abuse go?
“Where do you want me to start?” she asked seconds later.
“From wherever you feel comfortable.”
She stayed silent for several minutes, not talking. Her heart was racing, and her wolf was pacing in wait. Calm down, baby. I’m not going to let her go.
“I killed a human male and cleaned the mess up.” The words were not what he expected and yet they were. She was a wolf, suitable to be his mate.
“Tell me what happened.” He continued to stroke her body. “Why did you kill that man?”
“I liked pain, or I thought I liked pain. The guy I lost my virginity to he wasn’t clean about it or nice. It hurt a little. I don’t know if it hurt or if it was supposed to hurt.”
“I get it,” he said, kissing her shoulder.
“It was before my transition. I was eighteen, and I wanted to have sex as a human. I heard that some wolves couldn’t have sex without turning. If I got a human mate I didn’t want to risk killing him so I decided to have sex before. There was a little pain, but I didn’t have an orgasm. That was the last time I ever felt pain.”
He listened to her talk, finally opening up to him. Her wolf stopped pacing and simply rested, clearly happy that she was trusting someone with the truth.
****
“Afterward I thought I needed the pain to get off. I couldn’t enjoy sex any other way, and so I did a little research and I found people who felt the same. Before my transition, I could feel pain, and all of a sudden, it was gone. I figured I had to go looking for it.” Dawn opened up telling Daniel everything about herself. She’d never thought telling the truth would make her feel safe, yet it did. “The first BDSM club I went to was for humans. There were no wolves present. In my father’s pack, there’s no relationship of this kind. I doubt they even know it exists.”
“You’d be surprised what goes on behind closed doors, baby. It happens more than you think.” He kept stroking her stomach and thigh, calming her.
Her wolf was relaxed, happy even.
“You went home with a man?” Daniel asked.
“Yes, he was the first man I went home with. I spent the weekend with him. He was…” She stopped thinking as the memory crashed over her. “I don’t know his name. He was disgusting, filthy. He tied me to ropes he had coming from the ceiling and kept me that way for the time we were together.” She closed her eyes, reaching down to touch Daniel. The feel of his flesh calmed her nerves.
“I’m here, Dawn. I’m not going anywhere.”
Knowing he wasn’t going to leave her filled her with joy.
“He used knives, whips, wax, and sometimes he used flame. There was no end to what he did. I made the noises suitable even though I felt nothing, and only when he started to talk about another woman he’d had in the same spot—” Her mouth went dry at the cruelty of his actions. “He’d killed another woman in that same spot. I hadn’t smelled it because of all the scented candles and bleach he used to mop everything up. He talked how he’d tortured her for days, doing to me what he’d done to her.”
“What happened?”
“My wolf pounced.” She held her hand up for him to see. “My hand turned into the claws of a wolf. I tore the restraints with so much ease, and I killed him. I liked it, Daniel. He was a murdering bastard and had caused so much pain, and I liked causing him pain. I’m not normal.”
He cupped her cheek, turning to her to look at him. His dark brown eyes stared back at her. “You saved other women. If you’d not been a wolf he’d have killed you and done it to other women.”
“I spent three days cleaning up the mess and disposing of the body. For weeks afterwards I thought all I could smell was his blood. Every second I spent with my pack I thought they knew the truth. No one said anything, and after a little time passed I went out. Don’t get me wrong. There were men who tried to give me what I wanted, but it always ended in rejection and disaster.” She wiped the tears leaking from her eyes.