If I let myself fall into Kes’s/Kite’s trap of kindness, I would lose everything I’d fought to gain. And I wasn’t willing to give that up. I was selfish and liked this new Nila. And if that meant I had to keep my distance from kind-hearted people and only surround myself with bastards, then so be it.
Jethro would be the only one permitted to spike my heart and draw reluctant wetness. No one else.
“Careful, Ms. Weaver,” Jethro murmured. Stalking into the room, he kicked the door closed behind him.
His presence was a challenge, and I was prepared to meet it. Crossing the small distance between us, we met in the middle of the carpet; every muscle tense and ready to fight.
His nostrils flared, golden eyes delving deeply into mine. “I thought you’d be hiding under your bed after your debacle in my office.”
I shrugged. “Everyone has a limit, and I crossed mine. Unluckily for you, my limit has now increased, so don’t expect me to break again anytime soon.” I smiled, thinking of my reply to my father. I’d finally had the balls to tell him to leave me alone. Jethro would be no different.
I was prepared to unplug him, just like I’d unplugged my phone.
Taking another step, my fingertips landed on his chest, dipping coyly to his belt. His eyes flared, but he held his ground. “Thank you for pushing me, Jethro. Without you, I would still be terrified. But now I feel surprisingly…calm.”
A calm where I’d stopped fretting over the future. A calm where I was just as volatile and just as unhinged as they were.
“I can’t keep up with you.” His voice was dark with a trace of anger. He cocked his head, his salt-and-pepper hair catching the morning sun glinting through the window. “You’ve surprised me again, Ms. Weaver, and once again, I don’t like it.” He leaned forward, his lips so close to mine. “I’m beginning to wonder if everything I know about you is a lie.”
I stood firm. “You don’t know a thing about me.”
Why does this conversation sound like the one I had yesterday by phone?
He chuckled. “We Hawks have our ways. I know more than you think.”
His cryptic comment didn’t derail me. He’d read Kite’s messages. He knew everything about me that I’d meant for a perfect stranger.
I stared harder, trying to uncover his many, many layers. But it was pointless—like staring into a black lake with no reflection other than myself.
“Come. It’s time for Gemstone and breakfast.” He smiled coldly. “I have no doubt you’ll be starving after your…what was that? Would you prefer the word breakdown or hysterics?”
I straightened my shoulders. “Neither.”
“You have to pick one.”
“No, I don’t. If you want me to define it, I’ll call it my way of saying goodbye.”
He jerked. “Goodbye?” His knuckles went white as his hands clenched into fists. “To whom?”
My eyes tightened, trying to read him. He played the perfect part. If he knew Kestrel messaged me, he hid his deception so well—too well. The perfect liar.
“To my past, to who I used to be, to a friend called Kite.”
The reaction was subtle.
The small intake of breath. The slight whitening of his face. The indiscernible flinch of his muscles.
Then it was gone, hidden beneath the snowy exterior he held so well. “Ah yes, the James Bond idiot, 007. The same idiot who just can’t seem to stop messaging you.” Moving quickly, he grabbed my elbow, dragging me toward the door. “Well, I’m glad you said your goodbyes. Nothing worse than dying with unfinished business.” His smile sent gale-force winds howling through my suddenly torn-open chest.
I slammed to a halt. “You can’t help yourself, can you?”
He paused, forehead furrowed.
“You just have to be so damn cruel.”
He sighed dramatically, backing me away from the door and toward the centre of the room again. “I’m not cruel.”
I laughed. “Says the heartless human who probably doesn’t have a reflection when he stares in the mirror.”
He took another threatening step. I took one, too. Backing away from him, waltzing slowly around the room as hunter and prey.
“You’re saying I’m soulless?”
I nodded. “Completely soulless.”
He smirked. “Okay, try me. Ask me to do something. Make me prove to you that I have a soul.”
I frowned. “Like what?”
He took another step, pressing me closer to the bed. The anger throbbing around him switched to sexual interest. My breathing picked up as his golden eyes darkened. “You’re the one who needs proof, Ms. Weaver. You make the choice.”
What could I make him do?
What would prove he had a heart and my resolution to seduce him would actually work?
I know.
The one thing that seemed to be the epicentre of whatever I was trying to do.
I stopped retreating, locking my knees to prevent myself from losing confidence and running. “I have something. A test. It will prove you’re not the monster I think you are.”
He came closer, a slow smile spreading his lips. “Go on.”
I balled my hands, taking a deep breath. The precipice opened wide. I took a leap of faith and leapt. “Kiss me.”
The oxygen in the room disappeared. My heart erupted into flurries.
Jethro froze. “Excuse me?”
Standing tall, I said, “You’ve come so close to kissing me. By the stables, in the forest, when you made me pay the First Debt, even in your office. I’m done with your teasing, Jethro. I’m done with you pulling away whenever things get interesting. I want to know why.”
Jethro’s hands clenched by his sides. “And you think a stupid kiss will prove—what will it prove?”
I narrowed my eyes. “That you’re not as cold as you think you are. That you do care—care enough to be affected by kissing your arch enemy.”
Jethro laughed, but it was laced with uncertainty and…was that fear? “I’m not kissing you to prove such a ridiculous point.”
I splayed my hands, mocking him. “You said you’d do anything I asked.”
He chuckled softly. “I said something worthwhile.”
“Kissing me isn’t worthwhile?”
His gaze latched onto mine. A second ticked past. Another.
Then he lost his icy shell. “What the fuck do you want from me, Nila?”
My heart stopped.
Nila.