Flaw looked at Kes, shrugging as if asking for guidance. Kes nodded, chewing on the inside of his cheek, obviously just as lost as I was with where I was going with this.
Taking a deep breath, Flaw muttered, “I was told why they did it—it was an icebreaker. To remove barriers between you and the brotherhood. I was told it was a onetime thing and from now on to treat you as one of us.”
“Better than one of us,” Kes murmured. “You’re our guest, first and foremost, and we’re responsible for your wellbeing.”
There were so many inconsistencies in that sentence; I didn’t know where to begin.
Didn’t he get it that I wasn’t a guest but a woman destined to die? I was their captive!
Ignoring Kes for now, I glared at Flaw. “That was the reason you were told. What about what you believe? Tell me if you found it acceptable. Tell me how you would feel if all of this happened to your sister or wife.”
Kes sucked in a breath beside me. “I see what you’re doing, Nila.”
I shuddered at the use of my first name. I’d been trying so long for Jethro to use it, yet his younger brother needed no such encouragement.
Abandoning my witch-hunt on Flaw, I turned to the man who made me itch with annoyance, intrigue, and temper. “What do you see, Kestrel?”
Kes’s eyes tightened; something harsh and hot flowed between us. Some resemblance of the kinky, sexual man from our text messages flashed, then was hidden. “I know you’re searching for validation of being debased in such a way. Regardless of what you think, it wasn’t sexual. Those men weren’t there to get off on tasting you. They were there to strip you.”
I laughed. “Well, they certainly succeeded.”
I was naked and had my first orgasm in front of them. If that isn’t the bare essentials of any human, I don’t know what is.
Kes continued, “What if I told you that whole thing wasn’t just about you? What if I told you the men who witnessed your nakedness and were privileged enough to taste you were now indebted to you?”
“Don’t talk to me about debts,” I snarled.
Kes inched closer, encroaching on my mental safety. “By seeing you struggle, by witnessing the power that grew in you with each round of the table, you earned their respect. You earned their devotion. And you were welcomed into our world with no barriers. That’s what the lunch was about. A power play where you gave up your power and gained theirs in return.”
I couldn’t stand his crisp, accented voice delivering something that shouldn’t make sense, only for it to resonate perfectly inside.
Murmuring, he said, “You can’t deny you feel different. Stronger. Braver. You were at your most vulnerable, but you survived.” Reaching up, he captured the ends of my ponytail cascading over my shoulder. “We showed you your true worth, Nila Weaver, and now you’ll have the strength to face the future intact and not break until it’s time.”
My heart stuttered then died. “You gave me all of that, just so I wouldn’t be broken for the final debt?”
The cruelty. The brutality.
Locking eyes with me, Kes whispered, “I give you my word. You are strong enough to get through this.”
The room faded until the only thing that existed was Kes and I. I didn’t know if it was the possibility of him being Kite that drew me to him or the empathy deep in his gaze but something was undeniable. The longer we stared, the more he drained me of fight and fortified me with courage.
“Forgive me?” he whispered.
“Forgive you?”
My mind skipped. Was he asking for forgiveness for licking me like his brothers or for deceiving me with text messages?
Either way, I had no willpower to offer him absolution.
Did I take a wrong turn somewhere? Had I entered an alternate universe where I was no longer a prisoner, destined to be a plaything for bastards, and somehow became an…equal?
Kes moved closer, his body heat making me quiver. “I understand why you can’t. I was selfish for asking something you can’t give.”
A crashing headache squeezed my temples. “I—I don’t understand what’s going on.” I flinched as the words spilled from my mouth, raining confusion and vulnerability.
Kes didn’t twitch or move away, only twirled his fingers in my hair. “You’ll understand, soon enough.” Closing his eyes briefly, he released my ponytail and took a step back.
Instantly, the real world swamped into being: sunlight, the feel of luxurious carpet beneath my flip-flops, and the crackle of wood burning in the large fireplace behind Flaw.
If this was another game orchestrated by the hellish Mr. Hawk, then he’d just won because Kestrel had drained me more successfully than anyone. He’d made me pliant and submissive. He’d done what no amount of fear or arguing with Jethro could achieve.
And that made Kestrel deadly.
My heart thrummed with true fear.
Another huge difference between the brothers: one used softness to control me; the other wielded frost and fury.
How naïve was I to believe Kes could ever be on my side. He was the polar opposite—the snake in the proverbial grass—just waiting for Jethro to fail, so he could sink his fangs of pity into me and bring me under his spell.
I knew without a doubt I had to understand my enemies, and quickly, before they manipulated my mind with falsities.
Taking a deep breath, I crossed my arms across my chest, wishing I had a jacket. The chill of my conclusions stole into my blood, making me shiver with trepidation.
What had just happened, and why did I feel as if I’d lost?
At least with Jethro, I saw him. We were evenly matched in will and temper. And we both conceded defeat with yet another challenge met head on.
Kestrel was dangerous.
Treacherous.
Skilled in manipulation so clever, my thoughts were enamoured and I had no hope of deciphering what truly occurred.
Flaw clapped his hands, completely dispelling the tense mood. “I’m glad that’s all resolved.”
Moving toward the wingback where a saddlebag revealed the muzzles of weapons, he plucked it off and patted the buttoned leather. “Sit. Hang out with us, if you don’t have anything else to do.” Shooting a look at Kes, he said to me, “Can I get a maid to bring you something? Coffee, tea, a snack?”
I looked into his dark eyes, utterly gobsmacked. “Is this a new strategy? Commiserate with the indebted girl—give her the illusion she has friends?”
Flaw shook his head. “Uh…”