Nick’s arms tightened around him.
“So I wouldn’t look weak in front of a Marine.”
Nick rested his chin on Kelly’s head, his hands grasping at Kelly’s back. “You could never be weak. You carry the whole team with you.”
Kelly groaned mournfully. The phone on the kitchen counter began to ring again.
“It’s Ty,” Nick said. “He was probably trying to warn us.”
Kelly took a deep breath, trying to calm himself, trying to accept the crushing realization that everyone he loved was being called to war and he wasn’t capable of going with them. “How long do you have?”
“Forty-eight hours,” Nick said.
Kelly closed his eyes, holding his breath until he was almost light-headed. He finally let it out and met Nick’s eyes. Nick took Kelly’s face in both hands. They stood in silence, staring into each other’s eyes as both their cell phones rang and rang inside.
They converged in Charlotte, everyone flying in from around the country so they could report together as a team. They all knew it might be the last thing they did as a team, because there was no guarantee they’d be kept together once they were deployed.
Nick and Kelly sat together in one of the airport lounge areas, waiting for the others to arrive and join them. These would be their last moments alone together, the last chance they had to say what needed to be said. Nick couldn’t think of a word that seemed adequate.
Kelly finally flopped his arm over Nick’s shoulders. “When you’re over there,” he said, his voice pitched low. “I want you to remember you have unfinished business here, okay?”
Nick glanced at him, his heart in his throat when their eyes met.
Kelly’s smile wavered, giving Nick a glimpse of the pain Kelly was trying to hide. “There’s so much I want to say to you,” Kelly whispered.
Nick’s words were barely audible. “I know.”
“I thought we’d have more time to figure this out, but . . . I’ll wait for you to get back.”
“Kels, you shouldn’t do that.”
Kelly smiled sadly. “I don’t have anyone better to do,” he drawled, echoing Nick’s own words. Nick huffed, and Kelly leaned closer to press his forehead to Nick’s temple. Nick patted his cheek. He turned his head and their lips found each other. It was almost physically painful to share that last kiss. When it ended, Nick couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t speak. He turned his head so they were once again leaning against each other, and he kept his hand on Kelly’s cheek after he closed his eyes.
They sat that way in silence. Unmoving. Barely breathing. Nick’s mind churned. He was nearly ill by the time someone touched him on the shoulder. He opened his eyes to find Ty and Zane standing in front of them, both looking as worn out and heartsick as Nick felt.
“Hey,” Nick grunted.
Kelly looked up when he spoke. He stood and wrapped Ty up in a hug, holding on to him with the same kind of anguish he’d held on to Nick with last night. Nick met Zane’s eyes, nodding at him. There really wasn’t anything they could say. Nick stood to shake his hand, though, but Zane surprised him by stepping closer to hug him.
“Please bring him back alive,” Zane whispered as he clung to Nick.
Nick nodded jerkily. “I promise.”
Zane released him and sat next to him, his jaw tight and his shoulders rigid. He leaned forward, his head lowered and his fingers twined together. Nick could imagine what was going through Zane’s mind. Nick had never had to leave someone he cared for behind, not until now. He understood what the heartbreak felt like.
Ty finally managed to extricate himself from Kelly’s hug, and he and planted himself on the floor at Zane’s feet, sitting with his seabag behind him as a backrest.
“What happened to your neck?” Ty asked Kelly, pointing to the fingerprints still left under Kelly’s chin.
“Nick got carried away during rough sex,” Kelly answered, deadpan. Nick muffled a laugh and glanced at Kelly, who winked in return.
Ty rolled his eyes. “Whatever. What time are we expecting Johns and Digger?”
“I’ll check the arrivals again,” Kelly told them, patting Nick on the shoulder before he walked off, moving slowly and holding his hand to his side. He had grown increasingly restless now that he was on the mend, wanting to push himself more and more.
Nick watched him go, filled with anger and regret that they were here at all and not back in Colorado on Kelly’s deck, looking at the stars. That wasn’t the only regret on his mind, though. He didn’t like having secrets, and though he and Kelly had decided it was best to let this one stay quiet until they returned home and figured things out themselves, it wasn’t the only secret Nick was harboring right now.
“What’s going on, Irish?” Ty asked as soon as Kelly was out of earshot.
Nick shook his head.
“You look guilty. What have you done?”
Nick glanced at Zane, then back at Ty with a nod. There was no point in trying to hide it once Ty had called him on it. The airport bustled around them, but Nick barely took notice of any of it. He took a deep breath, steeling himself. “I really f**ked up this time.”
“I’m going to go get some . . . coffee,” Zane said as he made to stand.
Nick waved a hand. He sat forward, rubbing his eyes. “It’s okay, Garrett. Stay.”
“What happened?” Ty asked.
Nick checked to make certain Kelly wasn’t on his way back before he took a deep breath. “At the hospital in New Orleans, the day they were releasing the Doc,” he said, beginning to tremble as he thought about what Kelly’s reaction would be to his admission. “I was getting coffee as we waited for the papers. I saw two sailors at the front desk, getting information.”
“Sailors?” Ty asked. “They were there for Doc?”
Nick shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought they were. I went back upstairs, found his doctor, and . . .” Nick pushed at the back of his teeth with his tongue, trying to work up the nerve to finish. “I bribed him to say Kelly was no longer fit for service.”
Ty sat up straighter, eyes wide. “You what?”
Nick rubbed at his chin, lowering his head.
“Jesus Christ, Nick,” Ty whispered he glanced over his shoulder. “Does he know?”
Nick shook his head.
“He can barely walk; there’s no way he’d have been called back, regardless,” Zane pointed out. “Right?”