“Is it?”
“For sure. Don’t you dare squander it. Don’t let that jerk of an ex-boyfriend keep you from having fun.”
I sighed. “But it feels so uncharted. I always knew what to expect with Andy.” As soon as I said it, I regretted it, and her answering silence felt thundering.
“Did you?”
She knew me so well. I could practically see her arms crossed, her I’m-gonna-kick-some-ass face. “No. I didn’t.”
“Do you feel like you know this guy?”
“That’s the weird thing. I kind of feel like I do.”
No matter how much I thought about it, or how little sleep I got that night, it’d be fair to say I had no idea where Max’s head was after what happened Monday. The dynamics were backward: He was supposed to know how to do this casual thing. I was supposed to know how to do commitment.
And neither of us was supposed to want anything but sex. But somehow, it had never been like that. The niggling desire to know each other had started pushing its way in from day one, and I knew that as much as I wanted to be a person who could compartmentalize my relationship into Just Sex, I never really would be.
I remembered the panic on his face when he chased me down, and felt a stab of guilt.
Sara, you are complete fail at Booty Call for Beginners.
On Wednesday he texted me a picture from our night at the library. It was of the hem of my dress, pushed up against my lower back. A simple shot, but he’d stylized it into black-and-white, and the original was blurry enough for me to know he’d taken it toward the end, when I’d dissolved into inarticulate recitation and he’d followed me into orgasm with a groan muffled against my neck.
On Thursday, it was a picture I remembered seeing as we flipped through his phone on the Fourth of July. It was a photo of my hands unbuttoning his jeans. I’d pulled the denim away from his skin just enough to see the faint shape of his c**k straining against his gray boxer briefs.
Both pictures were sent around lunchtime, and I received them while I worked on finalizing two major contracts. I tried to convince myself that I felt giddy from getting a few contracts done rather than from the prospect of seeing him.
I was a giant lying liar.
“Question,” George said, walking into my office without knocking first. “Are we entirely sure Max Stella is straight? I’ve been thinking about this since he was here on Monday.”
I blinked, trying to figure out if I’d just said his name out loud or if George was just doing what Chloe had been doing since the Stella & Sumner meeting: making constant, casual references to their firm, and then watching me for any reaction.
“Pretty sure.”
“Maybe he’s bi?”
I looked up at him and dropped my red pen onto the thick contract in front of me. “Honestly? I really doubt it.”
George lifted two curious eyebrows. “You know personally?”
I gave him my most intimidating glare, which, to be fair, was . . . not very intimidating. No way was George going to play this game today. “Did you get signatures from Miller and Cortez on the Agent Provocateur campaign?”
My assistant narrowed his eyes at me. “Fine. I won’t ask more. But just know that I’m suspicious, ma’am. Very suspicious. You looked like your underpants were on fire when you saw him on Monday. And yes, I got the signatures.”
“Good.” Just as I spoke, my phone buzzed on my desk and I quickly flipped it over, reminding myself for the millionth time that I needed to change my preview settings in case Max was texting me another picture.
George’s face was priceless: his restraint appeared to cause him physical pain.
“You’re adorable, but go,” I said.
“Who’s texting you?”
“Until you marry me and pay all my bills, that will never be an appropriate question. Even then, you’re unlikely to get an answer.”
“Fine.” With a long middle finger raised, he swept from my office and back to his desk.
I glanced down at my screen, holding my breath. It was a text from Max, and my pulse exploded into a gallop.
Office being painted and recarpeted over the weekend. Must pack it up Friday after work, so I’m stuck in I’m afraid.
Quickly, I typed, So I won’t see you until next week? As soon as I hit send, I realized just how desperate I sounded.
Hello, Sara. You sound desperate because you are.
Within a couple of minutes, he replied, I presume you remember where my office is? I’ll see you at six, Petal.
Like many of the floors in our building, the Stella & Sumner offices were nearly deserted by six on Friday night. Max’s mother wasn’t at the front desk, and only a couple of people remained in cubicles as I walked through the halls to his office.
I knocked on his door quietly, and heard his deep voice tell me to come in.
I have it bad for this man, I realized when I saw him, sitting behind his desk with his sleeves rolled up and wearing thick-rimmed glasses. He wore an expression of such acute concentration it nearly stole my breath.
It turned out Max’s focused-at-work face closely mirrored his concentrating-on-giving-Sara-an-orgasm face.
“Lock the door behind you, if you would,” he murmured, without looking away from his computer monitor.
I turned, clicked the lock, and then glanced around his office again. How long were we going to be here? And when would he look up and tell me I looked beautiful? Our habits were already so heavily ingrained.
His office didn’t look at all like it was on the verge of being painted. He’d barely started putting things away: books and piles of papers lined one wall, and at least twenty empty boxes were stacked in a corner, waiting to be filled.
“I’m sure it will be boring for you to be here with me, and I’m a selfish prick for asking you to do this, but go ahead and take off your clothes.”
I felt my mouth fall open, eyes go wide. “What?”
“Clothes. Off,” he said, and pulled his glasses down his nose as he finally looked over at me. “You expected to remain clothed?” Shaking his head, he pushed the frames back up and returned his attention to his computer. “I f**king hate packing. Seeing you naked will be the only good thing about this night.”
“Um,” I said, trying to form a response. The truth was that old Sara would never have even entertained the idea of just casually sitting naked in front of someone. Which was exactly why I wanted do it. I walked toward the couch and pulled my short-sleeved cashmere sweater over my head. I slipped out of my blue ballet flats with the British flag embroidered on top, and then wiggled out of my dark skinny jeans, mumbling, “You didn’t even notice my shoes.”