“Nothing.”
“You’re nervous, I can tell. Talk to me.”
He let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close.
She hugged his waist in return. “The last time I was in these woods I got lost. You have to promise that you won’t leave me.”
“Julianne, I am not going to leave you. You don’t understand how important you are to me. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to lose you.” The pitch of Gabriel’s voice changed; it was low, tense.
His declaration took her by surprise.
“If for some reason we get separated, I want you to wait for me. I’ll find you, I promise.” Gabriel pulled a flashlight out of his pocket, and it shone brightly, illuminating the well-worn path in front of them, which disappeared into the trees.
The woods were spooky at night — a mixture of lush pines and naked trees waiting for spring. Julia clutched at Gabriel’s waist more tightly, worried that she might trip over a root or something and go sprawling. When they arrived at the edge of the orchard, he stopped.
It seemed smaller than Julia remembered it. The grassy space looked the same, and the rock and the apple trees were the same, but not as large and significant as they were in her memory. And sadder, as if everything had been forgotten.
Gabriel led her to the spot that was theirs all those years ago and painstakingly spread the old blanket on the ground.
“Who bought Richard’s house?” she asked.
“What’s that?”
“I was just wondering who bought the house. Tell me it wasn’t Mrs.
Roberts. She always wanted it.”
Gabriel pulled her to sit next to him on the ground and draped them both in blankets. She curled into his side, and he wrapped his arms about her. “I bought it.”
“Really? Why?”
“I wasn’t going to allow Mrs. Roberts to live here and chop down all the trees.”
“So you bought the house because of the orchard?”
“I couldn’t stand the idea of someone else owning it and possibly destroying it. Of never being able to come back here.”
“So what will you do?”
He shrugged. “My real estate agent will rent it out. I’d like to keep it as a summer house. I don’t know. I just couldn’t let Richard sell it to a stranger.”
“It was very generous of you.”
“Money means nothing. I can never repay him.”
Julia pressed a kiss to his cheek.
He smiled at her. “Are you comfortable?”
“Yes.”
“Are you warm enough?”
She giggled. “You’re generating quite a bit of heat, so yes.”
“You’re too far away.”
Even in the moonlight, Julia could see his eyes grow dark. She scooted closer to him and trembled slightly as he placed her sideways on his lap.
“That’s better,” he whispered, pulling her peacoat up slightly so that he could touch the naked skin of her lower back.
“Can I ask you something?” Julia looked at him pensively.
“Of course.”
“Why isn’t your last name Clark?”
He sighed. “Emerson was my mother’s name. I thought if I changed it, I would be disowning her. And I’m not a Clark. Not really.”
They were quiet for a few minutes, each coming to terms with memories and reality. Gabriel continued to caress her back, and she nuzzled up against him. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry to start a conversation, so Julia decided to speak first.
“I had a crush on you from the moment I saw your picture. I was so surprised that you noticed me the night I met you — that you wanted me to come with you.”
He brushed his lips against hers, just for an instant, fanning the flames that flickered below the surface. “You appeared to me in my darkness. You asked me once why I didn’t sleep with you that night. It’s so clear to me now; I drank in your goodness, and it satisfied my longings.”
Julia would have looked away, embarrassed, but Gabriel’s vulnerable gaze kept her there, exploring the depths of two dark shadowy pools.
“I don’t remember everything, but I remember thinking that you were very beautiful. Your hair, your face, your mouth. Sonnets could be written about your mouth, Julianne. I ached to kiss it from the moment I saw you.”
Julia pressed their chests together and grasped his neck with both hands, urging his mouth forward. She kissed him slowly but with feeling, tugging on his lower lip with her teeth, exploring his mouth with her tongue.
He placed his large hands flush against her back, almost lifting her. She responded by shifting her legs and moving to straddle him. He groaned in her mouth at their sudden and intense connection and held her even more tightly. His hands began to rub against her flesh, gliding up to the edge of her lacy bra strap and then back down again to the waistband of her jeans, teasing and tracing the barriers to her skin. It was so smooth, so soft. He wished he could see it in the moonlight. He wished he could see all of her.
Gabriel pulled away from her mouth when he felt her shiver. “Are you all right, love?”
She started at the unfamiliar term but then a slow smile crept across her face. “More than all right. I…” She paused and shook her head.
“What is it?”
“You’re very…intense.”
Without thinking, Gabriel threw his head back and laughed. His chest vibrated with good humor, and Julia almost found herself laughing too. If she hadn’t thought he was laughing at her. He reached his thumb up to pull her lower lip from between her teeth.
“If you think my actions are intense, then it’s a good thing you don’t know what I’m thinking at this moment.”
He shifted underneath her, and if she hadn’t noticed before, she noticed now. Where their two bodies pressed up against one another there was solidity and heat, the promise of something mysterious and satisfying.
She flushed at the way his body responded to her but didn’t break eye contact. “Tell me.”
“I want to make love to you because I care about you. I want to worship your naked body with my own and learn all of your secrets. I want to please you, not for minutes, but for hours and even days. I want to see you arch your back in ecstasy and look into your eyes when I make you come.”
He sighed and shook his head, his gaze heated but resolute. “But not here.
It’s too cold and it’s your first time and there are some things we need to discuss first.” He tenderly kissed her forehead, worried that she would interpret his declaration as a rejection.
“I want you to feel safe and comfortable. I want to adore every part of you. And that’s going to take time. And — ah — it’s going to require more amenities than this field can afford.” He smiled at her seductively and cocked an eyebrow at her. “Of course, what I want is of very little consequence.
What is at issue is what you want.”
“I think my feelings are pretty clear.”
“Are they?” His voice sounded unsure.
She leaned up to kiss him but caught his chin instead of his lips. “I wouldn’t be here with you in cold weather if I didn’t want to be.”
“It’s still nice to hear.”
“Gabriel Emerson, I want you,” she breathed. “In fact, I — ” She bit down on her lip roughly to keep from saying the four letter word.
“You can say it,” he whispered. “It will be all right. Say what you feel.”
“I — I want you to be my first. I’m yours, Gabriel. If you want me.”
“I want nothing more.”
This time he captured her mouth. His kiss was filled with promise and resolve. The intensity set fire to Julia’s insides, stirring and swirling her desires.
Gabriel wanted her. It had always been there in his kiss, but the line between hunger and affection was so easily misread. She was no longer concerned with that line, there was just his body pressed up against hers and their two mouths connected while their hands gently explored one another.
In their orchard, which was Paradise, there were only two almost-lovers and no one and nothing else.
As their kisses grew more passionate, Gabriel slowly reclined backward onto the blanket, pulling her until he was flat and she was kneeling on either side of him. Her chest pressed against his, and a pleasant friction arose between their hips. She moved atop him, shamelessly pressing her softness and curves against him. It was like nothing she had ever felt before.
He allowed her to continue, but only for a moment or two. He freed her lips and traced her cheekbones with his thumbs, lightly back and forth, his gaze heated.
“I burn for you, Julianne, but it’s more than just a physical hunger. I crave you, all of you.” He sighed and shook his head. “I hate to do this, but there are a few things we need to discuss.”
Julia’s sigh matched his. “Such as?”
“Such as my trip to Italy. I should have told you first.”
She sat up slowly. “Professors travel for work. I know that.” She dropped her gaze to the blanket beneath them.
Gabriel sat up too. “Julianne.” He lifted her chin with a single finger.
“Don’t hide from me. Tell me what you are thinking.”