His face was perfectly blank. "No. Because I'm just not interested in you in that way."
I stared. The message - the rejection - came through loud and clear. Everything from that night, everything I'd believed so beautiful and full of meaning, turned to dust before my eyes.
"It only happened because of the spell. Do you understand?"
Humiliated and angry, I refused to make a fool of myself by arguing or begging. I just shrugged. "Yeah. Understood."
I spent the rest of the day sulking, ignoring both Lissa and Mason's attempts to draw me out of my room. It was ironic that I should want to stay inside. Kirova had been impressed enough by my performance with the rescue to end my house arrest.
Before school the next day, I made my way to where Victor was being held. The Academy had honest-to-goodness cells, complete with bars, and two guardians stood watch in the hallway nearby. It took a little bit of finagling on my part to get them to let me inside to talk to him. Even Natalie wasn't allowed in. But one of the guardians had ridden with me in the SUV and watched me undergo Lissa's torture. I told him I needed to ask Victor about what he'd done to Lissa. It was a lie, but the guardians bought it and felt sorry for me. They allowed me five minutes to speak, backing up a discrete distance down the hall where they could see but not hear.
Standing outside Victor's cell, I couldn't believe I'd once felt sorry for him. Seeing his new and healthy body enraged me. He sat cross-legged on a narrow bed, reading. When he heard me approach, he looked up.
"Why Rose, what a nice surprise. Your ingenuity never fails to impress me. I didn't think they'd allow me any visitors."
I crossed my arms, trying to put on a look of total guardian fierceness. "I want you to break the spell. Finish it off."
"What do you mean?"
"The spell you did on me and Dimitri."
"That spell is done. It burned itself out."
I shook my head. "No. I keep thinking about him. I keep wanting to..."
He smiled knowingly when I didn't finish. "My dear, that was already there, long before I set that up."
"It wasn't like this. Not this bad."
"Maybe not consciously. But everything else...the attraction - physical and mental - was already in you. And in him. It wouldn't have worked otherwise. The spell didn't really add anything new - it just removed inhibitions and strengthened the feelings you already had for each other."
"You're lying. He said he didn't feel that way about me."
"He's lying. I tell you, the spell wouldn't have worked otherwise, and honestly, he should have known better. He had no right to let himself feel that way. You can be forgiven for a schoolgirl's crush. But him? He should have demonstrated more control in hiding his feelings. Natalie saw it and told me. After just a few observations of my own, it was obvious to me too. It gave me the perfect chance to distract you both. I keyed the necklace's charm for each of you, and you two did the rest."
"You're a sick bastard, doing that to me and him. And to Lissa."
"I have no regrets about what I did with her," he declared, leaning against the wall. "I'd do it again if I could. Believe what you want, I love my people. What I wanted to do was in their best interest. Now? Hard to say. They have no leader, no real leader. There's no one worthy, really." He cocked his head toward me, considering. "Vasilisa actually might have been such a one - if she could ever have found it within herself to believe in something and overcome the influence of spirit. It's ironic, really. Spirit can shape someone into a leader and also crush her ability to remain one. The fear, depression, and uncertainty take over, and keep her true strength buried deep within her. Still, she has the blood of the Dragomirs, which is no small thing. And of course, she has you, her shadow-kissed guardian. Who knows? She may surprise us yet."
" 'Shadow-kissed'?" There it was again, the same thing Ms. Karp had called me.
"You've been kissed by shadows. You've crossed into Death, into the other side, and returned. Do you think something like that doesn't leave a mark on the soul? You have a greater sense of life and the world - far greater than even I have - even if you don't realize it. You should have stayed dead. Vasilisa brushed Death to bring you back and bound you to her forever. You were actually in its embrace, and some part of you will always remember that, always fight to cling to life and experience all it has. That's why you're so reckless in the things you do. You don't hold back your feelings, your passion, your anger. It makes you remarkable. It makes you dangerous."
I didn't know what to say to that. I was speechless, which he seemed to like.
"It's what created your bond, too. Her feelings always press out of her, onto others. Most people can't pick up on them unless she's actually directing her thoughts toward them with compulsion. You, however, have a mind sensitive to extrasensory forces - hers in particular." He sighed, almost happily, and I remembered reading that Vladimir had saved Anna from death. That must have made their bond, too. "Yes, this ridiculous Academy has no idea what they have in either you or her. If not for the fact that I needed to kill you, I would have made you part of my royal guard when you were older."
"You never would've had a royal guard. Don't you think people would have been weirded out by you suddenly recovering like that? Even if no one found out about Lissa, Tatiana never would have made you king."
"You may be right, but it doesn't matter. There are other ways of taking power. Sometimes it's necessary to go outside the established channels. Do you think Kenneth is the only Moroi who follows me? The greatest and most powerful revolutions often start very quietly, hidden in the shadows." He eyed me. "Remember that."
Odd sounds came from the detention center's entrance, and I glanced toward where I'd come in. The guardians who had let me in were gone. From around the corner, I heard a few grunts and thumps. I frowned and craned my head to get a better look.
Victor stood up. "Finally."
Fear spiked down my spine - at least until I saw Natalie round the corner.
Mixed sympathy and anger flitted through me, but I forced a kind smile. She probably wouldn't see her father again once they took him. Villain or no, they should be allowed to say goodbye.
"Hey," I said, watching her stride toward me. There was an unusual purpose in her movements that some part of me whispered wasn't right. "I didn't think they'd let you in." Of course, they weren't supposed to have let me in either.
She walked right up to me and - no exaggeration - launched me against the far wall. My body hit it hard, and black star-bursts danced across my vision.