There was something dangerous in his tone, something that told me this was an unwelcome topic. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up something bad..."
"Actually...you probably wouldn't think it's bad," he said after almost a minute had passed. A tight smile formed on his lips. "You don't know your father, do you?"
I shook my head. "No. All I know is he must have had wicked cool hair."
Dimitri glanced up, and his eyes swept me. "Yes. He must have." Returning to my hands, he said carefully, "I knew mine."
I froze. "Really? Most Moroi guys don't stay - I mean, some do, but you know, usually they just - "
"Well, he liked my mother." He didn't say "liked" in a nice way. "And he visited her a lot. He's my sisters' father too. But when he came...well, he didn't treat my mother very well. He did some horrible things."
"Like..." I hesitated. This was Dimitri's mother we were talking about. I didn't know how far I could go. "Blood-whore things?"
"Like beating-her-up kinds of things," he replied flatly.
He'd finished the bandages but was still holding my hands. I don't even know if he noticed. I certainly did. His were warm and large, with long and graceful fingers. Fingers that might have played the piano in another life.
"Oh God," I said. How horrible. I tightened my hands in his. He squeezed back. "That's horrible. And she...she just let it happen?"
"She did." The corner of his mouth turned up into a sly, sad smile. "But I didn't."
Excitement surged through me. "Tell me, tell me you beat the crap out of him."
His smile grew. "I did."
"Wow." I hadn't thought Dimitri could be any cooler, but I was wrong. "You beat up your dad. I mean, that's really horrible...what happened. But, wow. You really are a god."
He blinked. "What?"
"Uh, nothing." Hastily, I tried to change the subject. "How old were you?"
He still seemed to be puzzling out the god comment. "Thirteen."
Whoa. Definitely a god. "You beat up your dad when you were thirteen?"
"It wasn't that hard. I was stronger than he was, almost as tall. I couldn't let him keep doing that. He had to learn that being royal and Moroi doesn't mean you can do anything you want to other people - even blood whores."
I stared. I couldn't believe he'd just said that about his mother. "I'm sorry."
"It's all right."
Pieces clicked into place for me. "That's why you got so upset about Jesse, isn't it? He was another royal, trying to take advantage of a dhampir girl."
Dimitri averted his eyes. "I got upset over that for a lot of reasons. After all, you were breaking the rules, and..."
He didn't finish, but he looked back into my eyes in a way that made warmth build between us.
Thinking about Jesse soon darkened my mood, unfortunately. I looked down. "I know you heard what people are saying, that I - "
"I know it's not true," he interrupted.
His immediate, certain answer surprised me, and I stupidly found myself questioning it. "Yeah, but how do you - "
"Because I know you," he replied firmly. "I know your character. I know you're going to be a great guardian."
His confidence made that warm feeling return. "I'm glad someone does. Everyone else thinks I'm totally irresponsible."
"With the way you worry more about Lissa than yourself..." He shook his head. "No. You understand your responsibilities better than guardians twice your age. You'll do what you have to do to succeed."
I thought about that. "I don't know if I can do everything I have to do."
He did that cool one-eyebrow thing.
"I don't want to cut my hair," I explained.
He looked puzzled. "You don't have to cut your hair. It's not required."
"All the other guardian women do. They show off their tattoos."
Unexpectedly, he released my hands and leaned forward. Slowly, he reached out and held a lock of my hair, twisting it around one finger thoughtfully. I froze, and for a moment, there was nothing going on in the world except him touching my hair. He let my hair go, looking a little surprised - and embarrassed - at what he'd done.
"Don't cut it," he said gruffly.
Somehow, I remembered how to talk again. "But no one'll see my tattoos if I don't."
He moved toward the doorway, a small smile playing over his lips. "Wear it up."
FOURTEEN
I CONTINUED SPYING ON LISSA over the next couple of days, feeling mildly guilty each time. She'd always hated it when I did by accident, and now I did it on purpose.
Steadily, I watched as she reintegrated herself into the royal power players one by one. She couldn't do group compulsion, but catching one person alone was just as effective, if slower. And really, a lot didn't need to be compelled to start hanging out with her again. Many weren't as shallow as they seemed; they remembered Lissa and liked her for who she was. They flocked to her, and now, a month and a half after our return to the Academy, it was like she'd never left at all. And during this rise to fame, she advocated for me and rallied against Mia and Jesse.
One morning, I tuned into her while she was getting ready for breakfast. She'd spent the last twenty minutes blow-drying and straightening her hair, something she hadn't done in a while. Natalie, sitting on the bed in their room, watched the process with curiosity. When Lissa moved on to makeup, Natalie finally spoke.
"Hey, we're going to watch a movie in Erin's room after school. You going to come?" I'd always made jokes about Natalie being boring, but her friend Erin had the personality of dry wall.
"Can't. I'm going to help Camille bleach Carly's hair."
"You sure spend a lot of time with them now."
"Yeah, I guess." Lissa dabbed mascara across her lashes, instantly making her eyes look bigger.
"I thought you didn't like them anymore."
"I changed my mind."
"They sure seem to like you a lot now. I mean, not that anyone wouldn't like you, but once you came back and didn't talk to them, they seemed okay ignoring you too. I heard them talking about you a lot. I guess that's not surprising, because they're Mia's friends too, but isn't it weird how much they like you now? Like, I hear them always waiting to see what you want to do before they make plans and stuff. And a bunch of them are defending Rose now, which is really crazy. Not that I believe any of that stuff about her, but I never would have thought it was possible - "