At what point exactly could you decide you were going insane?
“Evelyn.”
Everything stopped. If he ever figured out what it did to me when he said my name like that, I was done for. God, I’d missed him. It’d been like having a piece of me missing. But now that he was back, I didn’t know how we fit together anymore. I didn’t even know if we could.
“Hi,” I said.
“You look tired,” he said, mouth turning downward. “I mean, you look good, of course. But …”
“It’s fine.” I studied the sidewalk, took a deep breath. “It was a busy day.”
“So this is where you work?”
“Yeah.”
Ruby’s café sat quiet and empty. Fairy lights twinkled in the windows alongside a host of pamphlets taped to the glass advertising this and that. Street lights flickered on around us.
“Looks nice. Listen, we don’t have to talk right now,” he said. “I just wanna walk you home.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “You don’t have to do that.”
“It’s not like it’s a chore. Let me walk you home, Ev. Please.”
I nodded and after a moment started a hesitant stride down the city street. David fell into step beside me. What to talk about? Every topic seemed loaded. An open pit full of sharp stakes lay waiting around every corner. He kept shooting me wary sidelong glances. Opening his mouth and then shutting it. Apparently the situation sucked for both of us. I couldn’t bring myself to talk about LA. Last night seemed safer territory. Wait. No, it wasn’t. Bringing up alley sex was never going to pass for smart.
“How was your day?” he asked. “Apart from busy.”
Why couldn’t I have thought of something innocuous like that?
“Ah, fine. A couple of girls came in with stuff for you to sign. Some guys wanted me to give you a demo tape of their garage-reggae-blues band. One of the big-name jocks from school came in just to give me his number. He thinks we could have fun sometime,” I babbled, trying to lighten the mood.
His face became thunderous, dark brows drawn tight together. “Shit. That been happening often?”
And I was an idiot to have opened my mouth. “It’s no big deal, David. I told him I was busy and he went away.”
“So he f**king should.” He tipped his chin, giving me a long look. “You trying to make me jealous?”
“No, my mouth just ran away without my head. Sorry. Things are complicated enough.”
“I am jealous.”
I stared at him in surprise. I don’t know why. He’d made it clear last night he was here for me. But the knowledge that maybe I wasn’t alone out on the lovelorn precipice, thinking of throwing myself off … there was a lot of comfort in that.
“Come on,” he said, resuming the walking. At the corner we stopped, waiting for the traffic to clear.
“I might get Sam up here to keep an eye on you,” he said. “I don’t want people bothering you at work.”
“As much as I like Sam, he can stay where he is. Normal people don’t take bodyguards to work.”
His forehead scrunched up but he said nothing. We crossed the road, continuing on. A streetcar rumbled past, all lit up. I preferred walking, getting in some outside time after being shut inside all day. Plus, Portland’s beautiful: cafés and breweries and a weird heart. Take that, LA.
“So what did you do today?” I asked, proving myself a total winner in the creative conversation stakes.
“Just had a look around town, checking things out. I don’t get to play the tourist too often. We’re going left here,” he said, turning me off the normal path toward home.
“Where are we going?”
“Just bear with me here. I need to pick something up.” He escorted me into a pizza place I went to occasionally with Lauren. “Pizza’s the only thing I know you definitely eat. They were willing to stick on every f**king vegetable I could think of, so I hope you’ll like it.”
The place was only about a quarter full due to the early hour. Bare brick walls and black tables. A jukebox blared out something by the Beatles. I stood in the doorway, hesitant to go further with him. The man nodded to David and fetched an order from the warmer behind him. David thanked him and headed back toward me.
“You didn’t have to do that.” I stepped back out onto the street, giving the pizza box suspicious glances.
“It’s just pizza, Ev,” he said. “Relax. You don’t even have to ask me to share it with you if you don’t want. Which way is it to your place from here?”
“Left.”
We walked another block in silence with David carrying the pizza box up high on one hand.
“Stop frowning,” he said. “When I picked you up last night you were lighter than in Monterey. You’ve lost weight.”
I shrugged. Not going there. Definitely not remembering him lifting me and my legs going around him and how badly I’d missed him and the sound of his voice as he—
“Yeah, well, I liked you the way you were,” he said. “I love your curves. So I came up with another plan. You’re getting pizza with fifteen cheeses on it until you’ve got them back.”
“My first instinct here is to say something snarky about how my body is no longer any of your business.”
“Lucky you thought twice about saying that, huh? Especially since you let me back into your body last night.” He met my scowl with one of his own. “Look, I just don’t want you losing weight and getting sick, especially not on my account. It’s that simple. Forget the rest and stop giving the pizza dirty looks or you’ll hurt its feelings.”
“You’re not the boss of me,” I muttered.
He barked out a laugh. “You feel better for saying that?”
“Yes.”
I gave him a wary smile. Having him beside me again felt too easy. I shouldn’t get comfortable, who knew when it would once again blow up in my face? But the truth was, I wanted him there so bad it hurt.
“Ba—” He cleared his throat and tried again, without the sentiment that would have earned him an automatic smackdown. “Friend. Are we friends again?”
“I don’t know.”
He shook his head. “We’re friends. Ev, you’re sad, you’re tired, and you’ve lost weight, and I f**king hate that I’m the cause of it. I’m going to make this right with you one step at a time. Just … give me a little room to maneuver here. I promise I won’t step on your toes too badly.”