I had hoped that it had just been something I would grow out of, but I was worried that it was something a little more serious. Even back when I was just starting to have my period the doctor had said that it could be PCOS—polycystic ovary syndrome—that was making my periods the way they were and that birth control pills were the only real treatment for it to help with the hormone imbalance. For the moment, I was going to pretend like it wasn’t a possibility though.
I was on day eight of my period now. I was tired, pale and zit-faced. Yeah, I was a hot mess. No way someone would look at me and think I was Shane Stevenson’s wife. Grimacing, I brushed out my hair, washed the mask from my face, finished the third step of the Proactiv regimen, and then applied concealer to the angry-looking spots on my forehead and chin.
Dressed in a pair of loose-fitting dress pants—because I was bloated as hell—and the silk blouse I had picked up on my honeymoon in Mexico, I decided I looked as good as I was going to get for the day and left the bathroom. Shane was standing in the kitchen with the coffee pot full and a cup of rich smelling coffee in his hand.
Blue-gray eyes narrowed on me in concern. “You look exhausted, beautiful. Just call in and tell them that you are sick.”
“It’s just my period, Shane.” I took the mug from him, trying to keep my face hidden so he wouldn’t see how gross it was even with all the makeup I had put on to hide most of it. “Besides, I have to finalize next month’s cover on top of a staff meeting this morning.”
“I’ve never seen you so pale. Not even when you had the flu last year did you look this pale.”
“I’m so sorry I can’t be glowing every time you see me!” I snapped and put my mug in the sink, untouched. I was already feeling ugly, I didn’t need him to tell me how bad I looked. “I have to go.”
“Harper…” I didn’t give him a chance to say another word. Without looking at him again I grabbed my purse and headed out the door.
Peterson was already waiting for me and I climbed into the back of the town car he drove me around in. My phone rang with Shane’s assigned ring tone but I turned it to Do Not Disturb and tossed the phone to the bottom of my purse. Leaning my head against the window I closed my eyes.
By the time Peterson dropped me off at work I had to stop at the bathroom before even getting on the elevator to take me up to my office. I was bleeding even more heavily today than I had yesterday. This was really starting to worry me and maybe it was time I faced my fear that I really was suffering from PCOS. I used the app on my iPhone for my doctor to set up an appointment for the next day before dropping my things at my desk and rushing to the conference room for the staff meeting.
By lunch time I was dragging and my heart was feeling heavy. I’d ignored Shane’s calls to my cell and my office all morning, punishing him for something that wasn’t his fault. This was me feeling unworthy of him again, and all because of my stupid period. Damn it, I was going insane.
A tap on my open office door had my head rising as I was going over the photo shoot layouts that we were going to use for the next month’s issue. My heart stopped when I saw the receptionist standing there with an arrangement of yellow tulips. “From the hubby,” she said with a grin as she stepped inside my office and set the flowers on my desk. “And there’s a note.”
I didn’t say a word as she winked and left the office. As soon as she was gone I reached for the little card sticking out of the beautiful flower arrangement. You are the most beautiful woman in the world ~ Shane.
Tears filled my eyes and I blinked them away rapidly as I reached for the phone on my desk to call him. “I’m sorry!” I sobbed as soon as he answered.
“Hey, hey.” His tone was gentle, the one he used to soothe Mia when she was upset. It only made me sob harder. “Baby, what’s going on? Are you okay?”
“It really is just this stupid period,” I choked out. “My hormones are all over the place. I’m sorry, Shane. This is turning me into a huge bitch and I hate it.”
“I don’t know how to handle this…” He sighed and I pictured him running his hands through his short hair, the frustration on his face making his brow wrinkle and his eyes crinkle around the edges. “I hate seeing you like this. I just want to hold you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop fucking saying that!” he growled. “I love you, Harper. That means you don’t have to apologize for every little thing that upsets me. How are you feeling? Don’t get mad at me again, but baby you looked so tired this morning. I’m worried about you. I was talking to Em…” I sighed, because of course he had talked to Emmie about it, “…and she thinks that you could be anemic from all the blood you’ve been losing. She says you should call your doctor.”
“I already set up an appointment for the morning,” I assured him, running my finger over the card still clutched tightly in my hand. You are the most beautiful woman in the world…
“Good.” He sounded relieved. “Because if you had tried to argue I would have carried you there kicking and screaming. We’ll see the doctor tomorrow and get you sorted. And if she thinks that you should start birth control again then we will.”
It felt like my heart was doing nothing but hurting today. Biting my suddenly trembling lip I just sat there, unable to say anything. Going back on the pill meant not trying for a baby of our own. Did that mean he didn’t want to try after all?
“Harper? Hey, are you still there?” I sucked in a shaky breath and he groaned. “What did I say this time, baby?”
“It’s stupid. I’m being stupid,” I whispered.
“Harper…” His tone was full of warning that I had better answer him and not beat around the subject like I normally did when I wasn’t ready to talk about something.
Muttering a curse under my breath I sucked it up and just asked him point blank, “Does that mean you don’t want to try for a baby?” The line went dead and I knew I had pissed him off. Great, just great. “This day blows.” Trying not to worry about the pissed-off man I had to go home to later, I forced my attention to the pictures still lying on my desk needing my attention.
“You are the most frustrating woman on the face of the planet.” I nearly jumped out of my skin when Shane walked into my office not ten minutes later. He had to have been already on his way when I talked to him earlier or he wouldn’t have been able to make it here in such a short time frame.