“Okay, who’s getting what?” Drake asked, already sucking on a bottle of Jack Daniels at barely ten thirty.
“I’ll order the pizzas,” I offered, picking up my cellphone from the table beside the couch I was sitting on.
“I’ll go pick up the dessert and some movies. What are you in the mood for, sweetheart?” Jesse asked, getting to his feet.
“I want chocolate ice cream, and I don’t care what the cake is. Just birthday cake. And toppings. I want lots of toppings for the ice cream. No nuts though.” She kicked at Shane’s legs when he tried to tickle her toes. “Jerk! Just for that I want to watch gore. Lots and lots of gore.”
Shane groaned. “No. I’ll throw up and then how am I going to play tonight?”
“Then be good to me!” She squealed when he grabbed for her feet again, already starting to tickle them. “No, no!” She kicked him hard in the side, making him release her. Of course she scooted back onto my lap, seeking the safety of my arms. “Don’t let him, Nik!”
Good lord, the agony! Having that tight little ass brush against my groin was torture. Having her holding on and giggling so adorably only added to the pain. But it was a good pain. So fucking good!
With one arm I held onto her, keeping her against me. The other arm I warded Shane off, not wanting him to disrupt my lovely burden anytime soon. “Mine!” I claimed dibs on her teasingly while my heart screamed that it wasn’t a joke. “Get your own.”
“Right, so… chocolate, birthday cake, and the full collection of Full House it is.” We all groaned and Jesse gave a wicked grin. “Unless the birthday girl has a better suggestion.”
“Comedies. I want to laugh today.”
By the time we were supposed to take the stage my stomach hurt. Half the pain was from being so full after all the junk we had gorged on all day. The other half was from laughing with Emmie and my band brothers so much. I was still grinning like an idiot when we closed the concert that night.
When I got back to the bus all I wanted to do was continue the way we had been all day long. Eat some cold pizza and stuff my face with another piece of the cake Jesse had produced that said: Happy Birthday Emily. The drummer had still been cursing about the bakery’s mistake right before the show had started. Then I wanted to settle down and watch another movie with Emmie while the crew packed up and we headed out for the next city on our countrywide tour.
As soon as I stepped onto the bus I could hear Emmie giggling. The giggles were joined by a deeper chuckle, and my gut twisted with something close to jealousy. I didn’t know why it bothered me that Jesse was already getting comfortable and doing the same things I had been planning on doing. Really, I hadn’t even thought of my best friend in the whole scenario for tonight. With Drake and Shane off doing only Lord knew what, I had assumed he would be too.
I had wanted some alone time with Emmie. Alone time that may or may not have ended with her on my lap once more.
Pissed, I stomped through the bus like a kid that had been told he couldn’t have a desired toy to play with. When I got to the back where our living room was, I found Jesse in the spot I had sat in most of the day… with Emmie snuggled up to him. Her head was on his chest, her arm wrapped across his waist. Her favorite blanket was tucked around her legs, and she was grinning in a way that made her soul shine through.
“I didn’t think you would be back tonight,” Emmie said without looking over at me from where I stood in the doorway.
I grimaced, a little sick to my stomach that she was so familiar with my normal routine after a concert. “There was something better waiting for me here,” I told her honestly.
Her head turned then and she smiled up at me with that sassy tilt to her lips. “There’s plenty of room on the couch for you.”
I wasn’t about to turn the invitation down. Sending Jesse a smug grin, which he rolled his eyes at, I sat on the other end of the couch. Once I was comfortable, I did something that I had wanted to do all day. I pulled her away from Jesse, tucked her into my side, and kissed her forehead. “Happy birthday, baby girl.”
--
I woke with a warm weight on my chest. Something soft brushed across my cheek, and I blinked open my eyes to find Emmie sleeping soundly on top of me.
My body grew harder, because yeah, I had woken with my usual hard-on after dreaming of this beautiful girl. Her sweet smelling hair caressed my face, tickling me a little, and I just barely bit back a groan. With a soft sigh, she shifted, not disturbed by my slight movements. She had fallen asleep with one or the other of us over the last few years so this was nothing new to her.
For me, however, it was a mixture of Heaven and Hell. But I chose to enjoy this moment rather than let it make me miserable.
The last thing I remembered was Jesse turning in for the night around three o’clock. The bus was about to leave, and Drake and Shane had been in bed for more than an hour by then. With both of us getting tired but not ready to head off to bed just yet, I had turned on another movie and stretched out on the long couch. Emmie hadn’t even asked before lying down beside me. As tiny as she was she didn’t take up much room, and I had held onto her tight as the bus had pulled out into traffic and the opening credits started.
The movie hadn’t been over before I had drifted off, still holding her close. She must have done the same, and then rolled on top of me in her sleep. Content for the moment, I ran my fingers over the soft skin of her bare arm, loving how silky it was. Goose flesh popped up as I continued the slow caresses.
Knowing that, at least in her sleep, she liked my touch thrilled me on a dark level, and I hated myself all over again. I couldn’t do this. She trusted me, loved me as a friend and nothing more. She deserved better than what I could ever give her. I knew how hard it was to keep a meaningful relationship going when you were a rocker. I had watched the friends I had made over the years go through one horrible breakup after another.
Any stupid ideas that I might have harbored the day before were just that—stupid. Besides, I was sure that she didn’t want the same thing. She hadn’t so much as hinted that she even liked me as more than a friend.
Deflated, I moved so she was lying beside of me on the couch instead of on top of me. Emmie’s big green eyes snapped open and she frowned up at me. “Are you okay?”
My lips lifted in a half smile. “Yeah, baby girl. I’m fine.” I pulled her close, tucking her head under my chin. “Just fine.”