“Vulgar. Crass.”
“If you want to be f**ked raw, or make love, I’m happy to oblige whatever you want.” He leaned closer, his intense, hazel gaze locked on mine. “But I seem to remember you liked it hard. I’m just trying to be helpful.”
Blood rushed into my cheeks as my face heated. More like he was trying to kill me. I clamped my thighs together and straightened my spine, refocusing on the uneaten food on my plate.
Ben chuckled under his breath.
Soon after he paid the check and led me outside to where Henry was parked and waiting for us. Ben opened the passenger door and I slipped inside. I knew without asking that we’d be going to his place to spend the night. And I had no plans of arguing with him over that.
Henry zipped away from the curb and Ben laced his fingers in mine.
7
Ben
When we reached my apartment I led Emmy inside, my hand resting against the small of her back. I flicked on the lights, giving my apartment a warm glow. Emmy settled on the couch while I gathered a bottle of red wine, a wine opener, and glasses from the kitchen. When I joined her on the couch I handed her a glass of the wine. I read the hesitation in her eyes that said she probably shouldn’t have another, yet she took it. She hadn’t directly answered me about Fiji but the interest in her eyes when I’d mentioned it was unmistakable. Though I’d hated how her first question had been about Fiona. I wanted to earn back her trust, but that single statement told me I hadn’t.
“Cheers.” I clinked my glass with her. “To Fiji.” I grinned crookedly, hoping she’d give me an answer this time.
Her mouth pursed down. “Ben.”
“Yes, dear?” I smiled, innocently.
Emmy’s mouth curved up like she couldn’t help but smile at my expression.
“Will you come?”
Her eyes widened. “I said I’m thinking it over. Just give me some time.” Her tone was low, serious. “I don’t want to rush everything with us again.”
I fisted my hands at my sides and released a slow exhale. Emmy, refusing to meet my eyes, set her untouched wineglass on the coffee table. Inside the restaurant she seemed open to the idea of joining me. Now it seemed, with a little more time to think it over, she was questioning things again. I didn’t like the furrowed line in her forehead or the way her eyes drifted from mine. “Emmy, talk to me. Please.” I smoothed my thumb across the crease in her brow.
She released a heavy sigh and met my eyes. “Time, Ben. That’s all. It’s going to take time.” She rose to her feet. “And right now I need to go. I need to look for jobs.”
What the hell?
“Now? It’s . . .” I looked at my watch. “Ten thirty.”
“Yes. Now.” She grabbed her purse from beside the table and dashed for the door.
I caught her in the hall, lightly gripping her upper arms and turning her to face me. “Wait. If you need to go, at least need let me call Henry.”
She glanced at the floor between us. “No, it’s fine. I’d prefer to take the train. It’ll give me time to think.”
She was out of my grasp and heading to the elevator before I had time to react. My legs jumped into action and I pinned her against the wall where she stood. “Stop. Don’t run from me, dammit. Tell me what’s going on.” Her refusal to meet my eyes, her sudden need to get away, all had my heart hammering in my chest. “What’s this about? Why are you really leaving?”
“I’m going to the library in the morning. They’re holding a career resources seminar that I want to attend at ten. I want to be in my own apartment to get ready in the morning. I already mapped out the train route to get me there.”
“I’ll have Henry take you to the library in the morning.”
“I don’t have clothes here.”
“I have staff working for me, baby. I’ll send them out to pick up whatever you need.” As if I would have her go without.
She shook her head. “Ben, not everything revolves around you.”
Until I felt like she was really back with me, I wouldn’t let this go. I didn’t like her keeping me at a distance. We were in this together. She needed to see that.
“I just don’t want to do anything I might regret in the morning . . . and you tempt me,” she admitted, her voice just a whisper.
She thought I wanted to take her to bed. She was right, but I wasn’t about to force her. “When I f**k you again, I told you . . . it’ll be because you’re begging for it.”
She whimpered and drew a shuddering breath.
Gliding my index and middle fingers into her mouth, Emmy sucked at them greedily, making my dick rise. Her eyes stayed on mine while her tongue drew circles around my digits. The gesture itself was innocent but we both knew what I wanted—to slide these fingers inside her hot, tight little opening.
I pulled my hand away and captured her mouth in a kiss. And not just any kiss. A tongue-probing-lip-crushing-I-want-to-fuck-you kiss. If she was going to turn me down, I would at least leave her with something to think about later. And her tingling lips and wet panties would ensure she’d be remembering me. Working my hand into the front of her pants, I pushed my fingers into her panties. Warm, soft, and wet. My dick lengthened and pushed against my zipper. “You say you don’t want to f**k, but this pu**y’s nice and wet for me, baby.”
Emmy groaned and buried her hands in my hair, pulling me back to her mouth. “No sex, Ben. Not yet.”
I wondered if she was waiting to hear the results from my STD test, which had come back negative, or if she was just . . . waiting for some unknown point in the future. I saw no point in waiting. I knew I loved her, knew I wanted to be with her, but if it was what she wanted, I would respect it. Even if I did tease her a little.
I circled her clit, eliciting a tiny whimper from her, but she didn’t stop me. I wondered if she’d use me for her orgasm and then leave. If that was the case, I had no problem with stroking my own dick until I came. I just wanted to touch her. To watch her get off.
Her hips pushed toward mine and when she felt my erection brush against her belly, a low moan tumbled from her parted lips. My fingers continued massaging her. Her pink cheeks and stuttering breaths told me she was close.
Suddenly aware we were still in the hallway, I ripped my hand free from her pants and hauled her inside my apartment. I would make damn sure no one got to hear Emmy when she came. Her moaning out my name was the best sound in the world. And only I was entitled to hear it.