“This isn’t about me or what I was doing because I’m the adult here. I want to know everything about that boy you were with.” There it was. Her deflection.
“I love him and that’s all you need to know.”
“Why haven’t I heard anything about him?
It was pointless to lie. “Because I knew you’d never approve of him.”
“And why is that?”
“He’s from Collinsville. He doesn’t come from money or influence. His dad is a cop and his mother abandoned his family when he was six.”
“From what you’re describing, I would have, too.”
“Mother! How could you say something so cruel?”
She ignored my question. “This is the way this is going to be. You’re never going to see that boy again and you’re going to keep your mouth shut about seeing me and David in that hotel together. Got it?”
My mother was being unreasonable just as I predicted so I stormed to my room to pack a bag so I could go to Tillie’s. She had always been my refuge from my mother and I hoped tonight would no be different.
I needed to talk to Nick. I dialed his number and put him on speaker phone as I drove the short distance to my aunt and uncle’s house. He answered on the first ring without his normal greeting.
“Are you okay?”
No. I definitely wasn’t okay. “It didn’t go well. She did exactly what I thought she would. She turned everything around on me and what I was doing in that hotel with you.”
“Do I need to come and get you?”
I would love nothing more, but that wasn’t going to help matters. “No. I’m on my way to Tillie’s to stay the night.”
“What did you tell her about me?”
I told her the truth, that I loved you. “What could I tell her but the truth?”
“And what did she say?”
“She told me that I was never going to see you again.”
He went silent. “Are you still there, Nick?”
“Payton, that can’t happen.”
“I know. I can hardly stand to go one day without seeing you. There’s no way I’d survive not seeing you at all.”
“What are you going to do? She could make things bad for you.”
That was an understatement. “I don’t know. The only thing I’m sure of is that I’m not going to lose you because of her. I’ll think of something; I always do.”
I was desperate to make this work and I would resort to measures I wouldn’t normally consider. Maybe Tillie could help sort out this mess. She had offered to talk to my mom about Nick. Maybe she could convince her to quit being such a hard ass.
“Well, I’m here and I want to talk to Tillie before she goes to bed.”
“I want you to call me first thing in the morning.”
“I will.”
And there it was. The perfect moment to tell him that I loved him was hanging in the air, yet I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want my first time to tell him to be over the phone. I needed to see his face when I said those three words.
“Okay. I’ll talk to you in the morning.”
“Okay.” I love you, Nick.
I sat in my car for a minute just thinking about what would have happened if we hadn’t run into my mother in the hotel. I think I would have given myself to him. Hell, who was I kidding? I know I would have. He had the room the rest of the night and I was tempted to call him back and tell him to meet me there, but that wasn’t gonna fix the mess we were in and would likely only compound the problem.
I saw Tillie standing on the front porch looking toward my car, so I got out before she came to check on me. She met me on the walkway and gave me the hug my mother should have given me when I told her I was in love.
“Oh, Pate. I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
“I knew this was how she would react.”
“I thought you were going to keep your relationship with Nick a secret.”
This is the part where things got tricky. Did I tell her the truth about how my mother knew or did I lie to protect her secret? She certainly didn’t deserve the courtesy, but I decided to keep her secret for now to protect my Dad.
“We slipped up and she caught us together.” That wasn’t a lie, but that didn’t make me feel better because I knew I was telling her a half truth.
“And she forbade you to see Nick?”
“Just like I said she would. I don’t know what I’m gonna do because I have no idea how far she’s willing to go to keep us apart. If I continue to see him, she’ll make my life a living hell.”
“I’ll have a talk with her. Maybe I can get her to change her mind.”
I wasn’t holding out hope and the impact of the night’s events finally caught up with me as tears washed down my face like a breaking dam. My mom was cheating on my dad and I stood to lose the boy I was so desperately in love with. Could things get any worse for me?
“Go to bed and try not to worry. Everything will look different tomorrow.”
Luckily, I had the good sense to throw my necessities into a bag before I jetted out of my house. I changed into the sleep clothes I packed and hung my cocktail dress on the closet door. I crawled into bed and looked at it hanging there before I turned the lamp off. That wasn’t where my dress was supposed to be. It was supposed to be in a crumpled pile on the hotel room floor.
I hoped sleep could claim me quickly so I could put the pain out of my mind, but I stayed awake crying most of the night. I didn’t feel any more hopeful when I woke up the next morning. If anything, I was less hopeful. I reached for my phone to call Nick because I promised I would and because he would want an update on how things had gone with my aunt.
“Hey, Beautiful.”
“Hey.”
“I’m glad you called early. I don’t think I slept an hour all night from worrying. How did things go after we talked?”
“Aunt Tillie is going to try to talk to her, but I’m telling you now that she will never change her mind. That would mean admitting she was wrong and she doesn’t do that.”
“I need to see you.”
“Why don’t you come here? I’m the only one home and I’d like to see you before the clan gets back.”
“Okay. What’s the address and I’ll be right there.”
≈ ≈ ≈
I couldn’t wait for Nick to make it to the door. I needed to feel his arms around me, so I swung it open as he came up the steps and met him halfway. “It feels so good, so safe to be in your arms. I wanted to pretend all of this was a terrible nightmare that didn’t exist once I woke up.”