I’m a sitting duck. “Is this your way of telling me I should leave?”
“No. This is me telling you to stay and allow me to protect you.” He squeezes my hand. “Do you trust me to keep you safe?”
“I do. But I’m scared for both of us.” I don’t know what this means for him. “You’ll be going up against the brotherhood for me. That’s not something they’ll take lightly.”
“This will be me showing them what their next leader is made of. It’s a good move for me and a good lesson for them.”
His words hurt. His actions have nothing to do with his determination to be with me. They’re about proving he won’t bend to them or their rules. This is about changing the game to suit him.
I’ve been needing a good kick to bring me back to reality. Well, here it is, right square in the middle of my ass. Time to finish this mission and get the hell out.
“Of course it’s a good move, but maybe you shouldn’t rock the boat since I won’t be around forever.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m just saying I won’t always be here, and this is something your brothers won’t easily forget. They may feel as though you betrayed them for a woman, so maybe you should choose your battles wisely.”
“You’re worth the fight.”
Now I’m confused. I don’t understand his motive. “Is this about you choosing to be with me or showing them you can be if you so choose?”
“Both.” He cradles the side of my face and caresses his thumb down my cheek. “You silly lass. You don’t see it, do you?”
“See what?”
“The extremes I will go to have you.” There it is. The validation I so desperately need to hear. My God! It’s ridiculous how much I love this man but the tragedy is that he’ll never know.
The one person I hate most in this world brought me to the one I love most. Who could have possibly imagined that?
Chapter Twenty-Two
Sinclair Breckenridge
It’s been a week since Bleu and I discussed her place in my life. I can’t tell her I love her so I show her the only way I know how. I possess her—often. I’ve made her mine in every way possible, short of saying those three little words. But she seems content. For now.
She’s in the kitchen making chocolate chip cookies. It’s what she does when she’s upset or worried. It somehow brings her comfort.
I sneak up behind her to place a kiss on her neck so I can swipe a piece of dough from the cookie sheet. She slaps at my hand but misses because I’m too fast. “Oh, you are a very naughty boy.”
I pop the dough into my mouth. It’s from scratch, not the store-bought kind, so it’s extra buttery. “Does that mean I need a belting?”
“Maybe.” I wrap my arms around Bleu’s waist from behind and she leans into me as I swipe a second piece. “Make that definitely.”
“Sweet Bonny,” I say against her ear before kissing the side of her neck. “I have to go to my meeting.”
She twists in my arms to face me. “Are you very worried? Because I am—enough for both of us.”
I won’t lie about this. It’s too important. “I have some very serious concerns about what the outcome will be.”
She looks as though she might cry. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Aye, I do.” My mum is right. I must put Abram in his place now. “It’s necessary for more than one reason.”
I pull her close and she squeezes me hard. “I’m scared for you.”
I’m not incredibly confident myself. “I could be gone for a while depending on how this goes.” I kiss the top of her head. “Don’t fret if I’m not back by morning.”
She pulls away to look at me. “Are you serious? You could be gone all night?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” I shrug. “Sterling is coming for you in an hour. He’s going to drive you to my parents’ house. It may not be safe for you to be alone tonight so you’re staying with my mum.” Not a single Fellowship member would dare to seek her out at my parents’, even if Abram ordered it. They all fear my father’s wrath. My place is obviously a different story since he’s already sent one brother in.
“Is that really necessary?”
I don’t like to think so, but I’m not sure where Abram’s head is right now. “I don’t want to find out too late that I should have sent you away.” I’ve told Bleu I would protect her and I plan to keep my word. When I can’t actively do that, I will always make provisions for her safety. “You should probably take a bag since you could be staying the night.”
“Why do I get the feeling this is far more serious than you’ve made out?” Because it is. She’s come to know me well enough to predict the story within the book before opening it.
I press my forehead to hers and rub our noses in an Eskimo kiss. “No worries, my Bonny Bleu. Everything will be fine and well this time tomorrow night.”
“Sin. I …”
I know what’s coming, the words she’s toying with in her mouth. I can see affection pooling in her eyes, threatening to spill down her face, so I put my fingertip to her lips and shake my head. “Shh … don’t. Save it for a better occasion, a happier time.”
She snickers and a tear drops onto her cheek. “I can do that.”
“I must go.”
She holds my face and kisses me hard. “Come back to me when you can.”
“No fear. I’ll return the moment it’s possible.”
* * *
My father has taken his place at the table’s head in the conference room while Mitch and I sit opposite Abram and Jamie. If one didn’t know the chain of command, he could easily guess it by our seating arrangement.
Abram will lose his footing at the top once I finish my traineeship. He has acted as second-in-command to my father for years. It’s what he and my father agreed he would do until I was of age. That occurred a while ago, but I was needed elsewhere. I volunteered to become sole solicitor since my father still had years of leadership left in him. It made sense at the time but now I’m not sure about my decision. Abram enjoys exerting control and power far more than he should.
“As you’re all aware, we’re here to discuss my relationship with Bleu.”
“You’re fucking her,” Abram groans. “That doesn’t constitute a relationship.”