I lug my suitcase into her room, shutting the door behind me. Charlie sits down on her desk chair and stares expectantly at me. “What?” I ask.
“So are you going to tell me what’s going on between you and this guy?”
I roll my eyes. “There’s nothing going on. I don’t even know Logan. He’s just a guy who works for my parents that just so happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.” I tread over to her bed; tossing myself backward, I land on top of her pink sheets and comforter. I’m exhausted. This has been the morning from hell.
“He seems to be arriving at the right place at the right time if you ask me.”
“No one’s asking you. Seriously, can we drop this? My morning has been rough enough.”
“Fine.” She taps her nails hard once on her desk, and then huffs. “You know what? No, it’s not fine. Come on, Jenna. He pulled you out of the pool.” I wish I never told her about that. Thank God I didn’t tell her about the damn kiss. “Then I found the two of you in the shed, practically eye fucking each other. And this morning he just happens to be there after your mom goes into bitch mode and practically runs you out of the house?” I stare at the ceiling fan with no strength to fight back.
“We were not eye fucking,” I respond lamely.
She snorts. “Whatever. If I didn’t interrupt, I would’ve orgasmed with the stare the two of you were giving one another. That’s not the point.” Her chair squeaks. Five footsteps and a dip in the bed later, she’s lying beside me and staring at the ceiling fan as well. “There’s nothing wrong with having a little fun,” she says softly.
“I don’t want to have fun. I don’t need to have fun. I’m happy not having any fun at all. You remember what happened when Brooke wanted to have a little fun?” I ask, deadpan.
“Low blow, Jenna. Low. Fucking. Blow.” It takes a lot to make Charlie upset, and I just did. I feel terrible. She shifts to move off the bed, but I grab her arm and bring her back down, all the while keeping my eyes glued to the ceiling.
“I’m sorry. It was a low blow,” I say.
Her heavy sigh fills the air between us. “It’s fine. I just thought this party might help get you out of that shell of yours. Loosen up a bit. Be free. But I understand why you wouldn’t want to go. It’s still too soon. I’m a terrible friend for even thinking it would help. So…I’m sorry.”
Be free. Logan’s words repeat in my head. It’s more than just that. It’s a chance to escape, to be free.
I want that. I really do, more than anything. I need a chance to just clear my mind, to relax without a worry in the world. A chance to break away from any thoughts of my mother, from any memories of Brooke. For just one day, at least, I want to be free.
“You’re not a terrible friend, far from it. You’re just looking out. And you know what? You’re actually right. I need to let go a bit, be able to have some fun. I’m entitled to have fun. So all right, Charlie. Let’s go.” I can’t believe I just said that out loud.
Charlie instantly sits herself up on her elbows. “All right?”
“Yes. All right.”
“Eeeek! All right!” she squeals. Charlie jumps to her feet and starts bouncing happily on the bed.
The rest of the morning, Charlie and I shopped. Somehow she managed to drag me to the mall, much to my dismay. When she texted Santino to ask if we should bring anything to the party, he seemed extremely excited to hear that she was going. I’m sure he expects her to give him a little extra attention tonight.
After our shopping, she packed her luggage, and then we were on the road. Santino told her the guys were only working a half day and should be at the lake house by two this afternoon. She’s been in la-la land all morning since I agreed to go. Now that we’re actually on our way, my anxiety wants me to tell her to turn the car back around, that I’ve changed my mind. But I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself for taking away her excitement. To be fair, she hasn’t been out since Brooke’s been gone. It didn’t occur to me until now that Charlie needs this as much as she thinks I do.
“You look cute, by the way,” she says, taking a peek at me from the driver seat.
I look down, examining my attire. “I’m wearing jean shorts and a black cami. There’s nothing cute about it.”
She continues to smile brightly. Not even my depressing mood swings can bring her down. “Still, your hair and makeup are done. I’ve always said it’s not the wardrobe but the hair and makeup that should always be stunning. So, like I said, you look cute.”
“You insisted I do them. I’m not sure why I listened.”
Charlie turns to look at me again, and her eyes pop wide in warning. What did I do? She reaches out and swats at my hand, which is pressed against my cheek. “Stop biting the inside of your cheek. You do that when you’re nervous. Are you nervous right now?”
I didn’t realize I was doing it. I unclamp my teeth from the hold on my inner cheek. “No. I’m just…I don’t know.” I slam my head back twice in frustration. “I’m thinking, that’s all.”
“About what?” She looks straight ahead as she steers.
“About what you said, about Logan and me. For some reason I feel uncomfortable when he’s around me.”
“A bad uncomfortable or good uncomfortable?”
I adjust in the seat, admiring her profile. Charlie is beautiful, yes, but she’s also so strong, so confident. I wish I had at least an ounce of the courage she has. “What does it matter? I’m just uncomfortable.”
“Well, a good comfortable means you’re just a bit nervous around him because maybe you feel something for him—more than knowing that he’s just the guy who’s working for your parents. A bad uncomfortable means you’re afraid to be around him, that he makes you nervous in a bad way, like he could possibly harm you.”
I take in what she just said. “No. I don’t get the feeling he’d harm me.”
“Okay. Good. Because if you felt that way, I’d turn this car around and go back home.”
I smile. “You’d do that for me?”
“Of course. I would never place you in a dangerous situation. You know that, right?” She glances over, waiting for me to agree. I nod. “Good.” Charlie focuses back on the road. I know she wouldn’t put me in harm’s way. I lean my head back against the headrest, feeling a bit more at ease, and listen to Charlie chat away for the rest of the ride.