Jess waited for a minute, and then she walked slowly around it. She took the key fob from his hand. And, finally, when his gaze slid towards her she went to him and slid her arms tight around his waist. She held him until his head came slowly down to rest, a soft, dead weight, upon her shoulder.
26.
Tanzie
Nicky actually started a conversation at breakfast. They had been sitting eating around the table like a television family – Tanzie had multigrain hoops, and Suzie and Josh had chocolate croissants, which Suzie said they had every day because it was was their favourite – and it was a bit weird sitting there with Dad and his other family but not actually as bad as she’d thought. Dad was eating a bowl of bran flakes because he said he had to stay in trim now and patted his stomach a lot although she wasn’t sure why because it wasn’t like he had an actual job. ‘Things in the pipeline, Tanze,’ he said, whenever she asked what he was actually doing, and she wondered if Linzie had a garage full of air-conditioning units that didn’t work too. Linzie didn’t seem to eat anything. Nicky was toying with some toast – he never usually ate breakfast: until this trip he had never usually been up for breakfast – when he just looked at Dad and said, ‘Jess works all the time. All the time. And I don’t think it’s fair.’
Dad’s spoon stopped halfway to his mouth and Tanzie wondered whether he was going to get really angry, like he used to if Nicky said anything he felt was disrespectful. Nobody said anything for a minute. Then Linzie put her hand on Dad’s and smiled. ‘He’s right, love.’
And Dad went a bit pink and said, yes, well, things were going to change a bit from now on and we all made mistakes, and because she felt a bit braver then, Tanzie said, no, strictly speaking, not all of us did make mistakes. She had made a mistake with her algorithms and Norman had made a mistake because of the cows and breaking her glasses, and Mum had made a mistake with the Rolls-Royce and getting arrested, but Nicky was the one person in their family who hadn’t made any mistakes. But halfway through her saying it Nicky kicked her hard under the table and gave her that look.
What? her eyes said to him.
Shut it, his said to her.
GRRR, don’t tell me to shut it, hers said to him.
And then he wouldn’t look at her.
‘Would you like a chocolate croissant, love?’ Linzie said, and put one on her plate before Tanzie had even answered.
Linzie had washed and dried Tanzie’s clothes overnight and they smelt of orchid and vanilla fabric conditioner. Everything in that house smelt of something. It was as if nothing was allowed to just smell of itself. She had little plug-in things that released ‘a luxurious scent of rare blossoms and rainforests’ dotted around her skirting, and bowls of pot-pourri that she sprayed from little bottles of scent, and she had about a billion candles in the bathroom (‘I do love my scented candles’). Tanzie’s nose itched the whole time they were indoors.
After they’d got dressed Linzie took Suze to ballet. Dad and Tanzie went to the park even though she hadn’t been to the park in about two years because she had sort of grown out of it. But she didn’t want to hurt Dad’s feelings so she sat on the swing and let him push her a few times and Nicky stood and watched, with his hands stuffed into his pockets. He had left his Nintendo in Mr Nicholls’s car and she knew he really, really wanted a cigarette but she didn’t think he felt brave enough to smoke one in front of Dad.
There were chip-shop chips for lunch (‘Don’t tell Linze,’ Dad said, patting his stomach), and Dad asked questions about Mr Nicholls, trying to sound all casual: ‘Who is he then, that bloke? Your mum’s boyfriend?’
‘No,’ said Nicky, in a way that made it hard for Dad to ask another question. Tanzie thought Dad was a bit shocked at how Nicky spoke to him. Not that he was rude, exactly, it’s just that he didn’t seem to care what Dad thought. Plus Nicky was now taller than him but when Tanzie pointed it out Dad didn’t seem to think that was amazing at all.
And then Tanzie got cold because she hadn’t brought her coat so they went back and Suze was already home from ballet so Nicky went upstairs to go on the computer, and they played some games and then they played with her terrapin and then they just went to her room and she said they could watch a DVD because she had a DVD player and that she watched a whole one by herself every night before she went to sleep.
‘Doesn’t your mum read to you?’ Tanzie said.
‘She doesn’t have time. That’s why she got me the DVD player,’ Suze said. She had a whole shelf of films, all her favourites, that she could watch up there when they were watching something she didn’t like downstairs.
‘Marty likes gangster films so they watch those,’ she said, her nose wrinkling, and it took Tanzie a few minutes to realize she was actually talking about her dad. And she didn’t know what to say.
‘I like your jacket,’ Suze said, peering into Tanzie’s bag.
‘My mum made it for me for Christmas.’
‘Your mum actually made it?’ She held it up, so that the sequins Mum had sewn into the sleeves glinted in the light. ‘Oh, my God, is she like a fashion designer or something?’
‘No,’ Tanzie said. ‘She’s a cleaner.’
Suze laughed as if she was joking.
‘What are all those?’ she said, when she saw the maths papers in her bag.
This time Tanzie kept her mouth closed.
‘Is that maths? Oh, my God, it’s like … squiggles. It’s like … Greek.’ She giggled, flicking through them, then holding them from two fingers, like they were something horrible. ‘Are they your brother’s? Is he, like, a maths freak?’
‘I don’t know.’ Tanzie blushed because she was not very good at lying.
‘Ugh. What a brainiac. Freaky. Geeky.’ She tossed them to one side, while she pulled out Tanzie’s other clothes.
Tanzie didn’t say anything. She left them there on the floor because she didn’t want to have to explain. And she didn’t want to think about the Olympiad. And she just thought maybe it would be easier if she tried to be like Suze from now on because she seemed really happy and Dad seemed really happy here and then she said maybe they should watch television downstairs because she really didn’t want to think about anything any more.
They were three-quarters of the way through Fantasia when Tanzie heard Dad calling, ‘Tanze, your mum’s here.’ Mum stood on the doorstep with her chin up like she was ready for an argument, and when Tanzie stopped and stared at her face, she put a hand to her lip as if she had only just remembered it was split, and said, ‘I fell over,’ and then Tanzie looked behind her to Mr Nicholls who was sitting in the car, and Mum said, quick as anything, ‘He fell over too.’ Even though she hadn’t actually been able to see his face and she had just wanted to see whether they were getting in the car or if they were going to have to get a bus after all.