And two steps–
And one–
And I reach it and push with all my strength to get it back into the river–
And “TODD HEWITT!!”
And he’s closer–
And the boat don’t move–
“I WILL PUNISH THE WICKED!”
And closer still–
And the boat don’t move–
And his Noise is hitting me as hard as a punch–
And the boat moves–
Step and step and my feet are in the water and the boat’s moving–
And I’m falling–
And I don’t have the strength to get in the boat–
And I’m falling into the water as the boat moves away–
And Viola grabs my shirt and yanks me up till my head and shoulders are over the front–
“NO, YOU DON’T!” Aaron roars–
And Viola calls out as she pulls me again and my front’s in the boat–
And Aaron’s in the water–
And he’s grabbing my feet–
“No!” Viola screams and grips me harder, pulling with all her strength–
And I’m lifted in the air–
And the boat stops–
And Viola’s face is twisted in the effort–
But it’s a tug of war which only Aaron’s ever gonna win–
And then I hear “TODD!” barked in a voice so ferocious I wonder for a minute if a croc’s raised outta the water–
But it’s Manchee–
It’s Manchee–
It’s my dog my dog my dog and he’s leaping past Viola and I feel his feet hit my back and leave it again as he launches himself at Aaron with a snarl and a howl and a “TODD!” and Aaron calls out in anger–
And he lets go of my feet.
Viola lurches back but she don’t let go and I go tumbling into the boat on top of her.
The lurch pushes us farther out into the river.
The boat is starting to pull away.
My head tips and whirls as I spin round and I have to stay on my hands and knees for balance but I’m up as much I can and leaning out the boat and I’m calling, “Manchee!”
Aaron’s fallen back into the soft sand at the river’s edge, his robe getting tangled up in his legs. Manchee’s going for his face, all teeth and claws, growls and roars. Aaron tries to shake him off but Manchee gets a bite either side of Aaron’s nose and gives his head a twist.
He rips Aaron’s nose clean away from his face.
Aaron yells out in pain, blood shooting everywhere.
“Manchee!” I scream. “Hurry, Manchee!”
“Manchee!” Viola yells.
“C’mon, boy!”
And Manchee looks up from Aaron to see me calling him–
And that’s where Aaron takes his chance.
“No!” I scream.
He grabs Manchee violently by his scruff, lifting him off the ground and up in one motion.
“Manchee!”
I hear splashing and I’m dimly aware that Viola’s got the oar and is trying to stop us going any farther into the river and the world is shimmering and throbbing and–
And Aaron has my dog.
“GET BACK HERE!” Aaron yells, holding Manchee out at arm’s length. He’s too heavy to be picked up by his scruff and he’s yelping from the pain but he can’t quite get his head round to bite Aaron’s arm.
“Let him go!” I yell.
Aaron lowers his face–
There’s blood pouring outta the hole where his nose used to be and tho the gash in his cheek is healed you can still see his teeth and it’s this mess that repeats, almost calmly this time, burbling thru the blood and gore, “Come back to me, Todd Hewitt.”
“Todd?” Manchee yelps.
Viola’s rowing furiously to keep us outta the current but she’s weak from the drugs and we’re getting farther and farther away. “No,” I can hear her saying. “No.”
“Let him go!” I scream.
“The girl or the dog, Todd,” Aaron calls, still with the calm that’s so much scarier than when he was shouting. “The choice is yers.”
I reach for the knife and I hold it out in front of me but my head spins too much and I fall off my hands and smack my teeth on the boat seat.
“Todd?” Viola says, still rowing against the current, the boat twisting and turning.
I sit up tasting blood and the world waves so much it nearly knocks me over again.
“I’ll kill you,” I say, but so quietly I might as well be talking to myself.
“Last chance, Todd,” Aaron says, no longer sounding so calm.
“Todd?” Manchee’s still yelping. “Todd?”
And no–
“I’ll kill you,” but my voice is a whisper–
And no–
And there ain’t no choice–
And the boat’s out in the current–
And I look at Viola, still rowing against it, tears dripping off her chin–
She looks back at me–
And there ain’t no choice–
“No,” she says, her voice choking. “Oh, no, Todd–”
And I put my hand on her arm to stop her rowing.
Aaron’s Noise roars up in red and black.
The current takes us.
“I’m sorry!” I cry as the river takes us away, my words ragged things torn from me, my chest pulled so tight I can’t barely breathe. “I’m sorry, Manchee!”
“Todd?” he barks, confused and scared and watching me leave him behind. “Todd?”
“Manchee!” I scream.
Aaron brings his free hand towards my dog.
“MANCHEE!”
“Todd?”
And Aaron wrenches his arms and there’s a CRACK and a scream and a cut-off yelp that tears my heart in two forever and forever.
And the pain is too much it’s too much it’s too much and my hands are on my head and I’m rearing back and my mouth is open in a never-ending wordless wail of all the blackness that’s inside me.
And I fall back into it.
And I know nothing more as the river takes us away and away and away.
The sound of water.
And bird noise.
Where’s my safety? they sing. Where’s my safety?
Behind it, there’s music.
I swear there’s music.
Layers of it, flutey and strange and familiar–
And there’s light against the darkness, sheets of it, white and yellow.
And warmth.
And softness on my skin.
And a silence there next to me, pulling against me as strong as it ever did.