She shook her head, feeling all the pent-up anger wash over her.
“Look, I get that we’re not together, because it’s impossible.” She had to fight not to roll her eyes. “But if I’m going to sacrifice my time to come see you, couldn’t you at least have the decency to follow through?”
“Liz, stop pacing and come sit down,” he said, patting the seat next to him. “You’re angry and I want to get my hands on you.”
She stopped pacing, not realizing she had been doing it to begin with. “I hate this,” she said, shaking her head. “I hate that I’m angry with you. I hate that you’re drunk and not taking me seriously. Why didn’t you call, Brady?” Her voice was thick with emotion.
He sighed, seeing there was no fighting her. “I couldn’t. Heather hasn’t let me out of her sight since I got here. She doesn’t trust me not to mess up again. Those are her own words. It’s like she thinks that I’m going to get something else by her.”
“And you’re still hiding me,” Liz said wistfully.
“Yeah, she stayed by my side all last night while I was out, and told me that my new number had been tapped too, so she would screen my calls. She’s just looking out for me, but I couldn’t very well tell her that you were the person I wanted to call.”
“And when you got back to your place?”
Brady shrugged. “My parents don’t have a landline. Everyone has a cell phone, and they were all asleep when I got in. I had to ditch Heather to even get away tonight to come see you. I didn’t think she would be quite so clingy after what happened.”
“So all of that, and you still can’t call today or anything. I’m just so confused, Brady. What are we?” Liz asked, finally sitting down next to him.
“What do you mean?” He wrapped his arm across her shoulders and drew her into him.
Here it was. Here was her moment. She could look up into his dark, intimidating eyes, and tell him exactly how she felt and what she wanted to do. She could let him know that she was tired of hiding, and she wanted to be out in the open. That was what she needed to do.
But it was so close to the primary. Would he even listen to her? Let alone that he was drunk and could hardly take her seriously. It sounded like a recipe for disaster.
Liz held the words on the tip of her tongue, desperate to let him know. She couldn’t go on with this torn division in her chest. But she felt as if the words weren’t enough. Her simple words wouldn’t change anything in the long run. Maybe Clay was right…and Brady would do whatever it took to win. Then she would just be collateral damage, and the things she wanted to tell him would be dust in the wind.
She took a deep breath. “Why do you do all of this, Brady? You could have found a marginal amount of time to come see me in Chapel Hill, or I could have driven into Raleigh. Why go to this extent when it’s not even necessary?”
“I wanted to see you,” Brady said, pulling her onto his lap and nuzzling her neck. His hands slid down her back, drawing her into him. “I’ve missed this.”
Liz shivered at his touch. They were so right for each other, yet he was denying them so much by hiding.
His hands moved to her ass, and he picked her up and moved her so that she was straddling him. He pulled her hips into him and shot her that devilish smirk.
“Especially this,” he said, his voice heated.
Liz shook her head, pushed off of him, and stood. “You can’t even take this seriously. Why does it always have to be sex first and talk later? Why can’t you just answer my questions? Why am I here, Brady?”
“Because I wanted you here.”
“That simple, huh?”
“Yes, why do you have to insist on complicating things? Do you not like what we have going on?” Brady asked, standing and towering over her. “Do you not want me to f**k you?”
“You know what, Brady? Sometimes I don’t like what we have going on, and sometimes I don’t want you to f**k me,” Liz told him, turning and walking away from him.
She was so red-hot with anger. Her skin was superheating, and she felt tears prick her eyes.
“Don’t you see how much hiding this sucks? Don’t you even care that it’s hurting me? That I was so desperate to have someone acknowledge me in public, I had to go away for a weekend while you were getting bitched at for ever seeing me? Doesn’t that feel wrong to you? I just can’t keep feeling second best to everything else in your life.”
“What do you want from me, Liz? I have feelings for you. I wouldn’t have had you come here if that wasn’t true. But I told you from the very beginning that I wanted you and the campaign. Those two things don’t always coincide, and you said you were okay with that.”
Brady crossed the room, spun Liz around, and stared intently down into her eyes.
“Those things don’t change whether I love you or not.”
Liz’s breath caught at that word. She was sure he would never use that word to her. It didn’t matter if it was in the most roundabout way imaginable. Brady Maxwell had told her that he loved her.
Sure, he had prefaced that with things don’t change, but she was having a hard time not swooning. He loved her.
It wasn’t enough. It could never be enough to make it all better. But it was something to hold on to…something that she had.
As her mind replayed Brady’s words over and over again, her anger about him standing her up and going to dinner with someone else was slowly evaporating. She hadn’t expected him to ever tell her. Not that he had come right out and said it by all means, but it was still nice to hear that word off of his lips.
“Liz,” he whispered, sliding his hand around to the small of her back and pulling her in close, “forgive me for not calling. I know this must be hard on you, but I do try to do right by you as best I can.” His head dropped down low, and he planted a soft kiss on her lips, before resting his forehead against hers.
“I’m just…having a hard time,” she admitted, threading a hand up into his dark brown hair and trying to hold on to her fight even though he was draining it all out of her.
“I know, baby,” he murmured, pulling her hair lightly to tilt her head to one side.
“I want us to be public,” Liz finally told him.
Brady stiffened only marginally before licking and kissing down her earlobe and to her neck. “You know we can’t do that. I have the primary in two weeks, and the general election in November. You know that.”