“I should have told you earlier,” she said, tugging her clothes back on. She stood and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Why didn’t you?” I demanded.
Her hurricane eyes clouded over. “I wasn’t going to tell you at first because I didn’t think we would end up here. Then, the further and further we progressed in…whatever this is, I just couldn’t force the words out.”
“You should have told me.” For some reason, it was the only thing I could think about. “Do you know how many times I’ve tried to have sex with you, and you could have easily told me?”
“Yes!” she cried. “Yes, I know. I know. I’m sorry, Grant.”
I couldn’t believe we were arguing about this. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I should have been f**king ecstatic that Ari wanted to have sex with me and that she was being honest with me. It f**king meant that I could have her just like I’d been wanting since day one. But I kept pushing that thought away, and instead, I focused on the fact that I would have to start from square one.
It would be awkward, uncomfortable, and even painful for her. Would she cry? Would I hurt her? Christ¸ I’d never once cared enough about a girl to wonder if I was going to hurt her.
“I feel like an idiot…like I should have known.”
“What? Should I have had virgin stamped on my forehead or something?”
I could tell she was getting irritated, but I couldn’t get a grasp on it.
“Get it f**king tattooed to your forehead. That would have been a better indicator.”
“Well, sorry!” she snapped. “I didn’t think I’d be in this condition forever.”
“How have you been in this condition for this long?”
“I’m nineteen!”
“I had sex at fifteen!”
“I’m not a whore!” she screamed back in my face.
“Babe, please, I prefer manwhore.”
She angrily ground her teeth together. “You’re such an ass**le.”
I couldn’t keep it together. I was f**king it all up, but I couldn’t stop. Would I have continued to pursue her? In the beginning, no. After I’d gotten to know her…I didn’t know.
Yes.
I hadn’t lied when I said Ari made me stop feeling. She made me stop feeling the pain. She helped push back the memories. She helped focus me. Fuck, she makes me a better person. And I thought, in turn, I f**king made her a better person. She might be perfect on the outside, but I’d expanded her universe.
I wanted to tell her all of this, to drop down to my knees in the sand and let her know everything I was feeling. Instead, I just stood there, letting my frustration get the better of me.
“And you know what? Since you’re so set on being a manwhore,” she spat the word back at me, “it’s probably in my best interest not to sleep with you. It’s not like this is anything like a relationship. I’m sure you’ve been f**king everything that walks when we haven’t been together anyway!”
I f**king exploded. I couldn’t let her think that. “Ari, I haven’t been with anyone else since the day we f**king met!”
“What?” she asked, stunned.
“Yeah. You ruined me.”
“But you were gone for a week, and the guys made it seem like—”
“I lied!” I blubbered on. “I f**king lied to them. I’ve been lying to them since we met because I didn’t want to look like a pu**y.”
She stared at me in shock. “You really haven’t been with anyone else…since September?”
“Damn, Ari, I’m not going to lie to you. I’ve wanted to get laid something fierce. Blue balls and I have gotten comfortable together. I haven’t gone this long without sex since…ever.”
“Well, that’s reassuring.”
I let the words tumble out of my mouth—everything I’d been holding back, everything I should have said to begin with instead of f**king freaking out on her for being a virgin.
“But that’s the thing. Virgin or not, I’ve waited this long for you. I can keep waiting for you.”
“Grant…” she said, releasing some of her anger with a sigh.
“I’m not going to f**k it up, Ari. I’m no f**king good at this. I’ve never done this before. I’ve never been a…boyfriend. But ever since the first time we met, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head, and I’m not about to start now.”
“Grant McDermott, did you just call yourself my boyfriend?” Ari whispered.
I tugged the dog tags over my head and then closed the distance between us. “Princess, you haven’t figured that out by now?”
She took in a deep shuddering breath. “I didn’t want to assume anything.”
“Assume away.”
I placed the dog tags around her neck. She fingered them loosely in her hand. Her mouth was open slightly in surprise.
“Now, everyone else will, too.”
Chapter 24: Aribel
“Where the hell did you go this morning?” Cheyenne asked when I finally made it back to my place.
I still had an hour before my first class, but I knew there was no way I would be going back to sleep.
“Uh…” The words stalled on my tongue. I’d been so secretive about everything with Grant up until this point that it felt strange to be able to just freely divulge what had happened. It was kind of…exciting. “Grant picked me up.”
“At five in the morning?”
“He drove us down the shore, and we watched the sunrise.”
Cheyenne just stood there with her eyes narrowed. Her fiery red curls had been tamed, but she still always had this slightly manic appearance. Maybe it was just because I knew she was crazy.
“Grant McDermott?”
At that moment, Gabi walked in with a yawn. “Why are you guys so loud? Wasn’t the five a.m. wake-up call enough?”
“Aribel is trying to tell me that Grant McDermott picked her up at five o’clock in the morning just to drive her down the shore to see the sunrise.”
“That’s so romantic!” Gabi gushed.
“It sounds like bullshit to me. That doesn’t sound like Grant at all.”
“Well, I’ve never been particularly romantic, so I don’t think I’d make it up,” I told her flatly.
“Cheyenne, the yelling,” Shelby called, stumbling into the living room and collapsing on the couch.