My mind is whirling away on the different pieces and players in the grand scheme of this tangle when an image of Marissa moaning beneath me rises up to distract me. I push the thought aside in favor of the faces of the Russian mafia members that I’ve seen. Within two minutes, I’m thinking of her again, of how soft her skin is and what her neck smells like.
I take another long pull from my beer bottle, examining it closely and feeling guilty all over again. Over what I did so long ago.
Damn, she’s gonna be pissed.
Maybe she won’t ever remember. Maybe she’ll never find out. I don’t know why I even care, but I kinda hope she doesn’t. It’s not like I set out to make her hate me, like I want for that to happen.
The swelling of my dick behind my zipper is making it impossible for me to think, so I drain my beer, put the bottle in the trash, and head back toward the bedroom.
Let’s see how willing she is to play along now.
When I get to the door, she’s just pulling back the covers to get into bed. She stops and looks at me. We stare at each other for at least two full minutes before she drops the covers and turns to fully face me.
I cross the room slowly and stop in front of her, giving her one last opportunity to change her mind. I thread my fingers into the hair at her temples, gazing into her beautiful blue eyes. When she shows no hesitation, no sign of resistance, I take her lips in a kiss that’s meant to consume. The problem is, within seconds, I’m not sure who is consuming whom.
* * *
I rub the thick, soft towel across my chest and down my arms, drying water droplets and thinking about how rested I feel. I don’t think I’ve slept that good in months. Maybe years.
Good sex’ll do that to a man.
I dry my abdomen, making note of the red line where I was stabbed. It doesn’t bother me at all this morning and looks to be healing perfectly. I continue drying.
The muscles in my arm flex, drawing my attention to the winding, scroll-like tattooing that covers my right arm from elbow to deltoid. I think of the significance of each band of swirling art and I hope that maybe, just maybe the days of not knowing if I’ll live to see my next sunrise are over. Maybe I’ll never add another layer of tats to my arm.
For some reason Marissa pops into my head. She’s so different from anyone I’ve had in my life for the last seven years. She’s like a reminder of what life could’ve been, what it should’ve been for me. And it’s nice to experience a little bit of that, even if it is too late and only an illusion. My life can never be what it was meant to be. My future is set to some extent. Inevitable. Unavoidable. Unchangeable.
I growl at my thoughts, at the trapped feeling I’m getting. I don’t like inevitable. I don’t like anything I can’t control.
I’m partly relieved when I hear voices. On the one hand, they’re a welcome distraction. But on the other hand, I feel uneasy when I hear a man’s voice, one I don’t readily recognize.
I dress quickly and make my way out to the living room. I’m not at all pleased to see Cash’s friend Gavin sitting on the couch across from Marissa, relaxed and chatting away like he belongs there.
When I stop at the coffee table, arms crossed over my chest, Marissa glances up at me, causing Gavin to look up, too.
“Good morning, mate. Looks like Doc got you all squared away,” Gavin says. I couldn’t hear the hint of his accent from the bathroom, but now I can. It’s not thick, but it’s there.
His demeanor is friendly. But I still don’t like him.
I grunt in response. “What the hell are you doing here so early?”
“I was on my way to the club. Thought I’d stop by and check on Marissa.”
It aggravates the hell out of me that he’s not intimidated by me. He’s nearly as big as I am, so I wouldn’t expect my size to make an impression, but I’m a lot rougher than Cash, and I would think a guy like this might sense danger. And steer clear of it. He’s treading on thin ice right now. I’m not sure why his presence here irritates me, but it does and he ought to be smart enough to sense it and get his ass out of here.
“Well, you have. And as you can see, she’s fine. I’ve been with her. I’ll keep her safe. No reason for you to be concerned about her anymore.”
Gavin’s sharp blue eyes narrow on me. He makes no response, nor does he make any move to leave, which only further aggravates me.
Marissa clears her throat, drawing our attention to her. She smiles brightly. “Who wants breakfast?” she asks as she rises.
“We don’t want you to go to any trouble. I think I’ll just grab something later. I’ll follow Gavin over to the club. I need to talk to Cash, anyway.”
Gavin’s grin is playful, like he finds it amusing that I just cockblocked him. I don’t find it amusing at all.
Asshole.
Marissa just looks from me to Gavin and back again. No one says anything until Gavin gets up.
“You don’t have to leave, Gavin. And it’s no trouble to fix something, Nash,” Marissa says pleasantly.
“You don’t need any more trouble, Marissa. And I can tell you that this guy’s trouble. If he gives a damn about you, he’ll keep his distance.” I turn to Gavin, daring him to argue. “Right, Gavin?”
I’ve never been one to beat around the bush.
Gavin smiles again. “It’s funny, I was thinking the same thing about you.”
“I’m here to keep her safe, not to bring more shit into her life.”
“You’re saying that your mere presence doesn’t put her in more danger?”
“I’m saying I can keep her safe.”
If I’m being honest, I can’t say that I don’t bring danger to her door, because I probably do. But that’s different.
“I can, too. Probably even better than you can. Maybe we should just leave it up to Marissa.”
I grit my teeth. This guy needs his ass kicked. “That’s a good idea, especially for me. She’s already said she wants me to stay with her.”
Even though that’s not exactly what happened, I doubt Marissa will refute it.
Gavin looks to Marissa. “Is that true?”
“Yes, I told him he could stay here.”
Gavin laughs and nods in my direction. “Not quite how he made it sound, but I understand your predicament. A nice sheila like you will always do the polite thing. Just know that if you need anything at all, you’ve got my number. I’m only a phone call away.”