And thoughts like that aren’t helping.
The other thing that makes it torture is knowing that I’m leaving her in someone else’s hands. I hate that. I told her Gavin is the most capable, which is probably true from a technical standpoint. But I feel like there is no one that would risk more for her, no one else who would care as much for her safety as I would. As I do.
But it has to be done. My presence alone brings danger right to her doorstep. And that’s unacceptable. Until I get this under control, this is the best thing for her.
Even if it doesn’t feel like the best thing for me.
********
Olivia is quiet all the way through the lobby, in the elevator and into the room. She doesn’t say a word as she packs what few things she’d taken out of her bag back into it. I feel the need to lighten things up for her. I don’t want her leaving on this note. I don’t want either one of us leaving on this note.
Before she zips her bag, I pull out a pair of her panties and hold them up.
“Can I keep these? I promise they won’t end up strung up in the bar.”
“Give me those,” she says halfheartedly, reaching for them.
I jerk them away from her grasping fingers.
“No. I think I’ve earned at least one pair.”
“So you like girl’s underwear, huh? I never would’ve guessed it.”
“They don’t make ‘em big enough for what I’d have to put in them,” I tease.
She grins at that and replies, “Fine. Keep them. I think I’ve got plenty to last me for a while.”
I peek inside her bag. “Oh, yeah. You’re good. I mean, you won’t be changing them nearly as often without me around.” I give her my most devilish grin and feel gratified when her cheeks turn rosy.
“That’s probably true. In fact, now that I think about your effect on my underwear, you probably owe me several pair. I seem to remember a couple pair getting torn.”
“Mmm, that’s right. How could I forget? I’m surprised your dad didn’t hear all that moaning you were doing.”
Her mouth drops open and her cheeks burn a little brighter. “Maybe that was you. I seem to remember you being extremely excited.”
“Baby, I was very excited. You do all kinds of delicious things to me. Which makes me want to do all kinds of delicious things to you.”
“Um, I’m pretty sure you did.”
“Listen, why don’t you just ‘accidentally’ leave all these at your mother’s house? If you come home without any, I promise I’ll make sure you don’t miss them for one second.”
“Commando’s not my thing. Now Ginger on the other hand…”
“Oh, God!” I exclaim, closing my eyes and turning my head.
“What? Ginger’s gorgeous!”
“If you’re into that sort of thing.”
“What’s ‘that sort of thing’?”
“Well, she’s just so…blond and so…plastic and so…feline.”
Olivia laughs. “I thought guys liked that kind of thing.”
“Some do.”
“Well evidently you do, too. Taryn is all those things, too, only Ginger has a personality.”
“Okay, then I used to like that kind of thing. Now I like your kind of thing. It’s the very best kind of thing. Makes all other kinds of things look like shit.”
“Well, far be it for me to cause you to conjure mental images of shit without panties.”
“Can we not talk about shit and panties in the same sentence?”
“You’re the one that was talking about panties and lack thereof.”
“Oh my God! I can barely remember that far back. Too many traumatic things have been said since then.”
“It was forty-five seconds ago.”
“Told you it was traumatic.”
She laughs again, and this time, the sparkle in her eye is back. Just like I like it.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Olivia
Cash’s teasing makes it easy to forget what’s about to happen, but the sharp knock at the door brings reality with it.
“Who’s that?” I ask.
“Gavin.”
“We’re leaving from here?”
“Yes. I thought it would be safer. On the off chance anyone followed me here, they wouldn’t see Gavin and know to look for him. He should be parked on the next street over. This way I know no one will see you and be able to follow you to your mom’s. They’ll still be watching for me.”
“So you’ll be by yourself.” Fear nips at my insides, making them quiver.
“Just for a while. Nash and I have a plan for tomorrow.”
“Care to tell me what that is? Or would you rather I not know?”
He eyes me with a strange expression. I’m not sure what to make of it. My mind and my heart are all over the place.
“I don’t mind you knowing if you’re interested.”
“Of course I’m interested! I’m worried about you!”
“Hey, I’m just asking. I don’t want to assume anything with you.”
That sparks my anger. How in the world could he think I’m not interested? Granted, I’ve had some doubts resurface over the last day or two, but I don’t think I’ve ever given him the impression that I don’t care.
Have I?
The momentary uncertainty is like a wake-up call. I can’t let all this go down with Cash thinking that I don’t care. I couldn’t live with that.
“Cash, I’m very interested. And I care very much about what happens to you. I know I’ve got some…issues to work out, but that has more to do with me than you. You’re…you’re…” Words fail me as my throat closes around a knot of agony. I pause to regroup before I continue. “You’re important to me. And I know you’re a good guy. Deep down, I know it. And I trust you. I really do. It’s just hard to describe how I feel sometimes. But please, please don’t ever think I don’t care.”
He smiles down at me, moving in to brush his lips over mine. “Okay, okay. I believe you. And I know what you’re saying. I feel the same way.” His expression sobers. “It’s not always easy for me to say what I feel, but I want you to know I—”