“I know it sounds insane, but I also know what I saw.”
“I didn’t say you sounded insane.”
“You didn’t have to.”
True. I thought she was imagining things and she knew that’s what I thought.
But somewhere in the back of my mind, when I put it in the context of all the crazy things I’d seen in the last few months, it didn’t seem so farfetched anymore.
“Alright, it sounds crazy, but I believe you, whether you think I do or not.”
Savannah softened.
“Believe me, I wondered about it myself when I first saw him standing there.
But then, when he spoke and then he touched me…”
As I listened to Savannah, I found myself sympathizing with her, with her need to believe that Devon hadn’t left her, that he was back, that he was…
I grabbed Savannah’s hand, feeling a sudden urgency come over me.
“At the dance, you said Devon was going to see you later. Did he?”
Savannah’s face fell a bit.
“No. I haven’t seen him since.”
I could tell that admitting that came at a great cost, the cost of some of her faith in what she believed she saw.
“Well, things happen. You know how it is. Plans change.”
She nodded, but I could see that it really didn’t make her feel any better.
“I know what I saw, Ridley.” Her voice was quiet and her eyes were sad as she looked in my general direction, unseeing. “I know it was him. I know it.”
It sounded like she was trying to convince herself she’d seen Devon as much as me. My heart wrenched for her.
“Could you see anything else when you saw him? I mean, describe it.
Describe what you saw.”
Savannah’s face lit up as she thought about it.
“It was amazing. I was dancing with Zach and the entire world was dark all around me, just like it has been since the accident. But then I saw this blurry light spot near the double doors. I blinked a few times, but it didn’t go away. I watched it move around the back wall of the gym, almost like it was circling us or maybe even like it was circling me. ”
Savannah laughed.
“For a second, I thought maybe I was dying. Isn’t that stupid?” she asked.
I laughed, too, even though I didn’t think anything about her story was funny.
If anything, it was getting scarier by the minute.
“I would never admit this to anybody else, but since I lost my sight, I’ve thought a lot about death. There have been more than a few times that I’ve even prayed for it.”
“Savan—”
“I know, I know,” she said, holding up her hand to stop me. “I’m fine now.
It’s just been…hard.”
“But that’s what we’re—”
“Anyway,” she interrupted pointedly right before she cleared her throat and continued, obviously not interested in pursuing that subject. “I watched it move over toward the other door, the one that leads back out into the hall in front of the bathrooms. I thought it was waiting to take me to heaven. Assuming that God would even want a dork like me up there with Him,” she said self-deprecatingly.
“Savannah,” I began, but she shushed me.
“So, when the song was over, I made my excuses to Zach and I followed it out the door and down the hall to the bathroom.”
Savannah started to smile—a huge, gleeful spread of the lips that brought out her dimples and made her eyes sparkle.
“As soon as I stepped through the door, I could see him. I couldn’t see anything else. Everything else was black, just like always. But I could see him, plain as day, and that’s all that matters.”
“What did he look like?”
“Heavenly. Gorgeous. Just like always,” she said as she sighed adoringly.
But then, she wrinkled her brow a tiny bit and pursed her lips. “Well, maybe he looked a little different, not exactly like he did. But maybe that’s just because it’s been so long since I’ve seen anything that nothing would look the same to me now.”
“Different? Different how?”
She tilted her head to one side in thought. “Um, he seemed maybe a little paler and his eyes might’ve looked a little different, too.”
“Like how?”
“I don’t know. Lighter maybe, but also less…carefree or something, like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.”
“And he told you not to tell anyone, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Did he say why?”
“Nope. And I don’t need to know. He trusted me and I don’t intend to disappoint him.”
I tried to choose my words carefully.
“Savannah, what if he’s in some kind of trouble?”
I saw the shadow of doubt cross her face, but then she shook it away.
“The only thing he asked me to do was to keep him a secret, so that’s what I’m going to do. Period.”
I knew by the stubborn tilt of her chin that I wasn’t going to get her to change her mind. The best I could hope for was to influence future visits.
“When you see him next time, would you do me a favor? Would you ask him to come and see me?”
She hesitated.
“Look, if he knows anything about what might’ve happened to Bo, then I want to know. Surely you can understand that.”
Though terribly unfair, I pulled the Bo card, knowing it would get to her.
She knew how it felt to have someone you love disappear without a trace. She also knew how it felt to have them return to you. Savannah was too kindhearted to begrudge me that if she could help it.
“Alright, but I can’t make any promises. He’s probably going to be mad that I told you anyway.”
“You had no choice. I nearly ran into him in the bathroom, remember? He doesn’t have to know that I didn’t see him, too.”
I quickly turned the conversation to less upsetting things to keep it light during the last half of my visit. When Mr. Grant came and knocked on Savannah’s door, I figured it was probably time for the normal people to eat, which meant I needed to leave.
Savannah walked down the hall with me, but when we got to the end, I told her, “I can see myself out. You go eat.”
“Are you sure you can make it all the way over there without the help of a blind girl?” She was referring to the front door that was all of fifteen feet away
“I think I can handle it.”
“If you’re sure…”