My eyes meet Wilder’s.
Together we say, “We do.”
“And are you willing to do whatever must be done, go wherever you’re needed, face any consequence to complete this bargain?”
“We are.”
“And will you do this all in exchange for this god’s help in securing your future together?”
Wilder’s lips quirk up in a smile. It feels a little like we’re getting married now.
“We will.”
“Then on behalf of Hades, god of the underworld, I declare this agreement binding.”
A string of gold light snaps into place around our hands, squeezing so tight it feels like it’s slicing into our skin. It glows brighter, and I grit my teeth when it burns hot against our hands. Tears prick my eyes, and when I look at Wilder, his face is screwed up in pain. I want to cry out for it to stop, to say I changed my mind, but before the words can surface on my tongue, the string disappears, and I can feel the weight of our bargain, a heavy cord, settle in next to the one I share with Wilder.
I hold on tight to him and lift my other hand to my chest. I gasp for breath, and try to will my raging heart calm.
“It is done.”
The watcher’s voice clears some of the haze in my head, and his final words come back to me. Hades. We’d made a deal with Hades.
Why didn’t I force him to tell me who the god was before agreeing?
I lift my eyes to yell or curse or scream at him, but I only catch the blur as he moves. He ends up on the other side of Wilder. His frightening eyes meet mine from over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, pretty one. It’s the only way.”
He raises his hands, moving so fast that I don’t have time to say anything, not even a moment to meet Wilder’s gaze. A sickening crack reverberates around the room as he grips Wilder’s head and snaps it to the side.
I stare, certain that I’m seeing things wrong. Then his body begins to slump to the floor, and I scream.
I reach out, grabbing onto his arms, but his body is too heavy, and he’s not moving. All his weight is pulling toward the floor, and my chest feels like it’s been cracked wide open. All my strength leaves me, and I can’t make my fingers squeeze tight enough or my arms pull hard enough. And he’s falling.
“Wilder! No, please!”
I scream and scream his name, but I can’t stop his body from hitting the floor. He sprawls, arms and legs thrown wide. I follow, collapsing against his bare chest. My hands shake as they move over him. I reach for his neck, hoping somehow he still has a pulse, that somehow he’s alive. But purple splotches have already inked across his skin, and when I run my fingers over his neck, it feels wrong. The skin is tight and twisted, and oh gods.
I bury my head against his chest, and I forget how to do anything but scream. Everything hurts. Beginning with my throat and moving through my lungs and my heart and even my skin. Every second that I don’t hear his heart beating beneath my ear, the silence crushes me. My ribs are collapsing, bones snapping, organs being ground to dust.
And I beg for it to move faster. To flatten me so completely that there’s not enough of me left to feel.
But it doesn’t.
Despite the way it feels, I am completely, horrifyingly whole.
And Wilder is … not.
He’s not. He’s not. Oh gods, he’s not.
The floor creaks nearby, and time seems to reel backward. I’m finally able to think beyond the sight of Wilder’s broken body before me and remember what came before it.
Watcher.
He stands in my kitchen. His arms crossed over his chest as if he hasn’t just ripped the heart out of my existence. I fly at him, needing to break his murdering fingers and claw out his vile eyes. He catches my wrist and for the second time in minutes, my body lets me down. I throw myself into him, pull and tug and swing, but he’s strong. And I’m so very weak.
So weak that I let him take the very best of this world. I think of Gwen and Wilder’s mom and Rook on the edge of his darkness. This will destroy them. And it’s all my fault. I brought him into this world. I was selfish enough to want him even though I am and have always been poison.
“Breathe, pretty one.”
I scream again, digging my fingernails into the backs of his hands. But he stands there, stoic and steadfast.
It occurs to me then. What I need to do.
I draw up the energy in me, but even it feels wilted and waning in the absence of my other half. But all I need is enough to be dangerous, enough to affect the other people in my apartment building. If I push hard enough, he’ll have to kill me.
He slaps me hard, and then his hand grips my face, squeezing my jaw so hard I feel like the bones might shatter.
“Enough of that. It had to be done. There’s only one way for a mortal to get to the underworld, and he just took it.”
The fight leaves me, rushing out of me, and leaving only a deep, hollow ache in its place. So, it was my fault. I can’t even blame it on the deity in front of me. I made the bargain. Me.
“Are you going to stand here and weep or follow him?”
“You’ll do it? You’ll kill me?”
He scowls. “Don’t be stupid, girl. Hades doesn’t want you snuffed out. Were you not paying attention? He wants both of you.”
My mind is too sluggish, too fogged by pain.
“Are you—are you saying this might not be permanent? Will Hades let me take him back?”
It’s not unheard of. Orpheus went after Eurydice. He would have brought her spirit back with him too if he hadn’t looked back as he’d promised he wouldn’t. Could that be part of the bargain?
“I’d imagine that rests upon the task he has for you. It’s not my deal. I’m just a facilitator. But time moves differently in the Netherworlds. If you don’t go and find him soon, he’ll have lived lifetimes down there by the time you reach him.”
I could attack him all over again for keeping that from me. For keeping all of this from me.
“How? How do I get there if not through death?”
From his pocket, he pulls out a coin. It’s ancient and gold, a skeletal man in a ferry carved on the face.
“Charon?”
He nods. “Show him this coin. It will get you across the river. Find your Wilder, then together find Hades. Do not lose the coin or you won’t be able to get back. This is not a mere token coin for the dead. It will keep you anchored here in this world.”
“And how do I get to Charon? How do I get there from here?”