So Andie had accompanied me for moral support last weekend while I discussed the possibility with my parents. They still felt uneasy about it but agreed that they wouldn’t know how they’d feel about it in three years’ time, either, and we could talk about it then.
“How do you feel about that?” Dr. Bremner said. “Does the uncertainty make you uneasy?”
“Not anymore. I’m learning patience.”
She smiled. “Good.” Her eyes flicked to the clock. “That’s time.”
I stood up. “I’ll see you in a few weeks?”
“In a few weeks,” she agreed. “Perhaps we can finally talk about Jake.”
My breath whooshed out of me at the thought. “Okay,” I said quietly.
I felt a little off balance as I wandered down the hall to my sister’s office. The light outside her door wasn’t on, which meant she didn’t have a patient.
She sat behind her desk in the corner of the room, her back to the floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out over the Streeterville area of Chicago. Her office was cozy and comfortable compared to Dr. Bremner’s clinical one. Andie had a fat, comfy fabric sofa for her clients while Bremner had a black leather chaise that squeaked with the slightest movement.
My eyes strayed to the framed quote behind Andie’s desk.
It sucks at first. But it gets better.
I thought the words she’d said to me all those weeks ago were so fitting for her job that I’d had them printed on thick white paper in embossed dark gold and framed for her office. I wasn’t sure if she’d actually hang it, but it went up right away. She said it was the first thing her clients saw upon entering, and most thought it funny.
“That time already?” Andie said, looking up from her laptop.
“Yup. You ready?”
“Give me two minutes.”
I visited Chicago every three weeks to talk to Bremner and afterwards, Andie drove us to Lanton to spend the weekend with our parents. It wasn’t a permanent thing but I think we both felt we needed to do it to return our family to some kind of normality.
We arrived in Lanton a few hours later and walked into our parents’ house, greeted by the magical aroma of brisket and steamed veggies.
Sitting at dinner, I noted that the grim quality in my father’s eyes was gone now. There was still something weighty in his expression and I don’t think that would ever go away. He’d come close to losing a kid and I think he and Mom would carry that with them always. But they were both doing so much better, and Mom no longer visited the cemetery to find understanding from her dead mother. I saw that as a plus.
“I’m sorry Claudia had to cancel this weekend,” Mom said after passing around the broccoli.
I almost sniggered at the thought of my love-struck friend. “Well, Beck’s band is playing a popular bar in Evanston and she likes to be at his gigs to keep the groupies away. They’re starting to really make a name for themselves in Chicago.”
Dad frowned. “If they hit it big, she’ll have to learn to deal with that. She better think on it carefully—I don’t want her to get hurt.”
I felt warmth in my chest over my dad’s concern for my best friend. Her parents were never going to provide that for her, but I was glad she had a good substitute. “She has. It makes her uncomfortable, but she’s willing to deal with it for Beck.” I snorted. “He told her she had nothing to worry about. He convinced her with his usual hard-to-say-no-to charm.”
Dad shook his head, smirking. “He should teach that stuff.”
My dad liked Beck. He’d gotten to know him a little when they joined my family for Christmas. Dad liked the way he was with Claudia and was just as susceptible to his easy charm as everybody else was. But it was more than that. The death of his father had made Beck a little grave. He seemed to have an understanding of what was important and how little time we have to appreciate it. An air of maturity floated around Beck that hadn’t been there before, and my dad liked it.
I chuckled. “He’s only speaking the truth. It’s hard to compete with someone like Claudia.”
“Yeah, but if they get famous, they’ll get the crazy girls who don’t care how beautiful a rocker’s girlfriend is or how much in love with her he is. They’ll do anything to get in his pants,” Andie warned.
“I know. And Claudia knows that. But she trusts Beck and so do I.”
And that was a good thing now that he and Claud were a package deal. They alternated weekends at each other’s apartment, so I saw quite a bit of him. When Claudia was in Chicago for the weekend, I hung out with Alex and friends from college.
I didn’t hang out with the rest of The Stolen. For obvious reasons.
I talked to Lowe on the phone occasionally and caught up with the guys’ antics through him and Beck. And also through Jake.
Jake and I emailed one another now. We hadn’t spoken on the phone and we hadn’t seen each other since San Francisco, but we hadn’t completely let go of one another yet, either.
It started with me. I knew I wasn’t ready to deal with our relationship or lack thereof, but I also didn’t want us to be strangers. So I sent him an email, telling him about my reconciliation with Andie and asking him about the rest of the road trip.
And so we became pen pals. I received and sent an email once a week, and I looked forward to Jake’s email like I was waiting on a million-dollar check to arrive. I even sent him a birthday present last month. It was an imported seven-inch red vinyl of Pearl Jam’s “Daughter.” I thought it would look cool on his wall, and Jake seemed to agree when he emailed to thank me.
I wish I could’ve seen his face when he opened it.
“Your mom and I were thinking it might be nice to rent a place in Grand Haven this summer. Thought the five of us could spend a long weekend up there.”
Andie grinned. “Sounds good, Dad. Just let me know what dates so I can schedule it, and so Rick can get time off.”
Dad turned to me. “Charley?”
“I’m there, definitely.”
Pleased, he nodded and returned to his brisket.
I felt Mom’s eyes on me and I looked up to meet her gaze. She gave me a small smile that I wasn’t quite sure I understood. It didn’t matter what it meant. There was peace in it and comfort in the air around us—not an ounce of brittle tension to be found.
I was finally getting my family back.
My phone had vibrated in my pocket over an hour ago, but I hadn’t wanted to be rude and bail on my family to check my email. I waited impatiently until Andie called it a night and I quickly did the same. Once in my old room, I shut the door and hurried to my laptop.