He stopped moving his fingers and looked up at me. “Jessie…please let me do this for you.”
I shook my head, and I felt tears falling down my face. “I can’t do this. I need you to get off of me, please.”
Trey immediately jumped up and turned away. I quickly pulled my bra down and reached for my panties. I slipped them on, and then I began putting on my shorts and shirt as I looked at Trey pacing back and forth. He was breathing so heavily, and I knew what I had just done was such a shit-ass thing to do.
When I walked up and touched him on the shoulder, he jumped.
“Please don’t touch me. It’s taking everything I have not to try and convince you to let me make love to you, so please don’t touch me.”
“I’m so sorry, Trey. I thought I wanted to…but I can’t. It just feels so wrong. I still love him.”
Trey spun around and looked at me. “What? After you caught him fucking his ex, you can stand here and say you still love him?”
I nodded as tears began to fall harder. “I can’t help what my heart feels. I just…I love him so much, and I…I need more time.”
He ran his hands through his hair and let out a long, drawn-out sigh. “Jessie…I know you only want to be friends, and I’m trying…really, I’m trying, but I want to be honest with you. I think I’m falling for you, and I want to move this on to something other than friendship.”
My heart dropped to my stomach. “Trey…I just…I can’t—at least, not right now.”
He slowly smiled. “Well, I guess that’s better than a flat-out no.”
I tried to smile, but I could only manage a weak grin. “Yeah, I guess,” I said. I turned and looked down at the necklace Scott had given me right before all hell had broken loose. I reached down, picked it up, and held it in my hand.
“I’ll take it, and I’ll be patient, love. I’ll be content with being friends—for now.”
I turned and nodded. “I think I need to eat. I’m feeling a little dizzy again.”
Trey gave me a weak smile as he opened the door and waited for me to walk out.
As we made our way to the restaurant, neither one of us talked. I had the most uncontrollable urge to turn around and take a shower, so I could scrub every inch where Trey had touched me. I didn’t understand why I felt like I did because it wasn’t like I was cheating on anyone. I’d left Scott…because he had been with Chelsea. And now, I was…alone. What had happened between me and Trey still felt so wrong, and the feeling in my stomach only grew worse and worse as the night went on.
Oh, God…please forgive me. What did I just do?
I walked into the barn and nearly fell over. What in the hell?
“Um, Gramps…what are you doing?”
Gramps turned and looked at me. He smiled, and I couldn’t help but smile back. I silently said a prayer and thanked God for not taking him from us.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” he said as he turned back and adjusted the saddle on Big Roy.
I took a deep breath and pushed my hand through my hair. “It looks like you’re going for a ride. Can I join you?” I asked.
He turned and flashed me that smile of his. “I don’t know, son. Can you?”
I let out a laugh and shook my head as I reached for my saddle and walked up to Firelight. I gave her a few strokes and grabbed a handful of oats for her.
“May I join you?” I asked with a chuckle.
“Yes, I’d love to shoot the shit with you for a bit.”
Gramps and I rode in silence for a good fifteen minutes before he finally started talking.
“How’s Scott?”
I let out a sigh and thought back to last night when Scott had broken down. “Scott has been spending more and more time at our house. Last night, he and Ellie were sitting on the back porch, and he just lost it. I think what is killing him the most is not having a clue as to where in the hell she is.”
“And she hasn’t gotten in touch with her daddy? That doesn’t sound like Jessie,” Gramps said with a shake of his head.
“She called Amanda, but the connection was bad, and Amanda said Jessie was only getting every other word. Jessie said she’d be home by now, but…”
“You know, Gunner, women are a strange group.”
I let out a laugh. “Yeah. Yeah, they are, Gramps.”
“Here’s what I’m thinking—Jessie is so deeply hurt by what she thinks is a betrayal by Scott. For her, maybe the easiest thing to do is stay away, and by staying away and not talking to anyone, she can’t be reminded of that hurt. You and I both know that is not a good way of handling things, but right now, her heart is so broken that she doesn’t know what to do.”
“But, Gramps, if she would just fucking call someone, we could tell her the truth—that it wasn’t Scott she saw that night. How can we help her if she won’t let us?”
Gramps turned and looked at me. “That’s the problem—she doesn’t want help. She doesn’t want to talk to anyone—maybe for fear of asking how Scott is or of someone telling her that he’s with that bitch.”
I snapped my head over toward Gramps. “Damn, old man. Don’t hold back.”
“I never did like that girl. I’m not trying to be judgmental ’cause you know I ain’t that way, but there has always been something about her that I just never cared for. I saw the way she would look at you while she was on Scott’s arm. I never did care for those who carry a cheatin’ heart.”
I looked straight ahead and did what I’d been doing for the last couple of weeks. I tried to figure out how in the hell to find Jessie.
“How’s my granddaughter?”
I smiled, and my heart started beating harder. “She’s doing wonderful. She walked yesterday!”
“No!”
I threw my head back and let out a laugh. “Yep! Ells and I were sitting across from each other, and Alex just started walking toward me. It was one of the best moments of my life…and I’ve been having a lot of those lately.”
“Did you cry?”
I slowly looked at my grandfather. I tried to picture him during the first time his sons had taken steps. I would bet the ranch that he cried like a baby!
“Okay, I’ll be a man about it. Yes, I cried…a little.”
“Yeah, the first steps your father took were toward me. I cried like a dam had broken. Emma laughed and told me that was one of the reasons she would love me forever.” Gramps let out a chuckle.