He reached his hand up and ran his knuckles down the side of my face. When he touched me, I couldn’t deny that I felt something. It was nothing though compared to when Scott had touched me…or smiled at me…or told me how much he loved me.
Scott…why did you have to hurt me again?
“Smile, my love. I hate it when you have such a sad look in your eyes,” Trey said with that sweet smile of his.
I looked into his green eyes, and I couldn’t believe his fiancée could ever walk away from such an amazing man. I returned a weak smile. “I’m just not feeling well.”
“Is it your stomach again? Maybe you’re eating something here that doesn’t agree with you.”
I shrugged my shoulders. I knew it was most likely just nerves. I had been such a nervous wreck and so stressed out that I hadn’t even had my period in two months.
Trey leaned down and lightly kissed my lips. I wanted so badly to open myself up to him more. I just wanted to be held in someone’s arms tonight. But what I wanted most was to be in Scott’s arms.
“Jessie, don’t spend Christmas Eve alone. Stay with me tonight. Please. I know you’re leaving in a few days to be home by the New Year, but please…let’s just spend this next week together.”
I let out a small laugh. “Trey, we’ve pretty much spent every waking moment together. I don’t think we could spend any more time together.”
He shook his head and kissed my lips again. This time, he gently bit down on my lower lip and pulled it with his teeth. I couldn’t control myself, and I let a small moan escape from my lips.
“Trey.”
“I don’t mean, hang out like friends, Jessie. I want to be with you. I want to know how you feel and what you taste like. I want to touch every inch of your body and cover you with kisses.”
Oh god…I want that, too.
But I want it from Scott. Only from Scott.
“Once we leave this island, if you tell me that this is it and there could never be anything else, I promise you that I will totally respect that. It’s just…I’ve never felt this way with anyone…not even with Renee. I was going to marry her, and I never wanted her like I want you right now.”
A part of me wanted to go back to his cabana. I could just close my eyes and dream I was with Scott, but I’d never hurt Trey that way.
I placed my hand on his chest and smiled at him. “Trey, I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t feel a connection to you because I do. I feel it when we touch and when we kiss, but—”
He started shaking his head. “No…don’t say but, Jessie.”
I took a deep breath in and quickly blew it out. “But it’s not fair to be with you when I’m still in love with Scott. I can’t change what my heart feels, and yes, I know, he hurt me. Please don’t keep reminding me.”
“I’m sorry, Jessie, but he did hurt you, and that bastard doesn’t deserve your love.”
“Trey, I keep having this dream. It’s about Scott and a little girl, and she keeps telling me that I didn’t even give him a chance to talk to me before I ran away. She told me I killed him.”
Trey rolled his eyes and let out a sharp breath as he shook his head. “A dream? That’s what has you so upset? Jesus Christ, Jessie. It’s a damn dream that doesn’t mean anything. You didn’t kill the asshole.”
“I haven’t even talked to my father in over a month. I gave the lady I met at lunch one day a postcard I’d bought in Texas to mail to my father. I’m hiding from my own family and friends, but mostly, I’m hiding from Scott. I have to keep asking myself why. Why am I so afraid to talk to or see him?”
“Because you know the moment you see him, you’ll forgive him, Jess. You’ll fall right back into his arms, just waiting for the next time he hurts you.”
I shook my head and turned to walk off the dance floor. I went back to our table and had to put my hand up to my mouth. Oh god, please don’t let me get sick here. Shit!
I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. I need fresh air. I can’t breathe. As soon as I got outside, I took a deep breath and felt the cool, crisp air hit my lungs. Then, I noticed the wind. Holy shit. It was so windy that it almost knocked me over. I felt dizzy, and I tried to get my balance when I felt Trey grab my arm.
“Jessie, don’t run away from me like you have with everyone else.”
I spun around and looked at him. The anger began building, and all I wanted was my father right now. I need to get home.
“How can you stand there and say that to me of all people? Did you not run away with your best friend and come here after Renee left you at the altar? You’re not going home because you don’t want to face everyone asking you what happened, right? How dare you say that to me.”
“Jessie, you deserve to be loved and taken care of. I can do that. I would never hurt you. You would never have to run away from me.”
Oh god. I never even gave Scott a chance to talk to me before I just ran away from him. What am I afraid of? Finding out the truth? What if I was wrong all along?
Then, something hit me like a brick wall.
“What if it wasn’t him?”
Trey just looked at me. “What? Who in the hell else could it have been, Jessie? You’re talking crazy.”
“No…I’ve been fighting this sick feeling in my stomach since I got on that plane. It was like…like I was making one of the worst mistakes of my life. There’s a reason my love for him is so strong still.” I shook my head. “I need to get back to my cabana.”
As I started practically running, Trey ran up and grabbed me.
“Jessie! Listen to yourself. You didn’t imagine seeing him screwing his ex.”
I closed my eyes and thought back to the night I’d been trying to push out of my memory for the last month and a half. I opened them quickly and looked at Trey. “No…I don’t think it was him. The more I think about the voice calling out after me…the more I realize that it wasn’t Scott’s. I know it wasn’t Scott.” My heart started pounding. “I’m going to call him.”
Trey threw his head back, and I knew he was upset.
“Fine. Let me walk with you then since it’s dark.”
I nodded and began to run back to the cabana. The wind was getting worse, and it was starting to sprinkle now. Just before we got to the door, a bolt of lightning struck somewhere close by. I screamed, and Trey took a hold of me.